I have not submitted any comments to this community recently. The reasons are the same – still grieving, still alone, still journaling, still thinking about what the new future will look like. In the midst of this uncertainty, I have begun to realize that those around me, although not necessarily supportive, are consciously or subconsciously, judging me. Who cares? You may think you can toughen it out alone, but we all still live in a world with others. We still need them for various important reasons – our jobs if we work, our kids if we have them, our family and friends, etc. So, while we are grieving and hurting, we have to face reality and start thinking about how we are perceived by them. If we want to start healing, we have been advised by professionals to take care of ourselves. That is not always the first thought on our minds. Once you start doing this, I have found that some of my prior vanities remerge, like how my hair looks, should I start wearing makeup again, should I polish my fingernails? These thoughts could sound out of touch with grieving, but I think it is actually healthy if we want to rejoin society. No one, other than a Grievance Counselor or other medical professional, really wants to hear in detail about your past experiences and loss. That is the reality. Unless folks have gone through a major loss, they will not understand and expect you to magically recover. So, while you are going through your own private grievance, you still have to function in society and in my observation project a more independent and can-do persona. Not easy and may sound superficial, but I am going to start thinking about this while I try to reenter a more sociable environment. New perspective for the future. Have a good one.
