🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[Fall2024inVA]

I have found that TALKING with OTHER grievers has helped me not to feel so alone.

While we will still have OUR MOMENTS of anger, sadness and so on - LEARNING from others how they have been able to MOVE FORWARD helps us on our journeys.

So stop by and SHARE your SURVIVAL TIPS, you may be helping someone who just lost a luv one.

Thank you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[mc6844]

Very true Nicole. This is why I've favored the Grief and Loss Forum. The topics are focused on loss and grief. So a person naturally focuses on this topic when they stop in. And they can stop in any time they want am or pm. This is good for the grieving. Who may find it hard to commit to a specific date or time or session. Plus in grieving events or things like car repairs or mechanical usually handled by the deceased can set the grieving process back, or all over again. Although unexpected, it's just another layer of grief. That's why the saying  "don't go to the empty well for water" is worthy of note. It's important to pay attention to grief, and go to pertinent and necessary resources for relief and healing. It takes effort. It's tiring. But being in a state of emotional upset isn't good for surviving and eventually thriving in this process. Thank you for bringing the topic up. Today is my day for catching up with the forum. 

[mc6844]

I think that's very helpful too, Nicole. So many things we never think of ourselves. Having a new source of learning is a great comfort when the grieving hits. 

[MarcyW882921]

I spoke with a woman whose husband passed away recently. She said seeing all of the women in our group who have experienced this kind of loss and survived and even thrived is inspirational for her. If you have gotten through this trauma, you may be serving as an example for others without even knowing it!

Marcy

[Fall2024inVA]

I agree Marcy @MarcyW882921 and know that YOU have INSPIRED me to GET BUSY.

Lol, nope, NO Zumba or tennis  😂🤣  but things I USE TO ENJOY!!!  👍👍👍

Now to get busy EACH DAY like you my friend.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MARCY wrote: I spoke with a woman whose husband passed away recently. She said seeing all of the women in our group who have experienced this kind of loss and survived and even thrived is inspirational for her. If you have gotten through this trauma, you may be serving as an example for others without even knowing it! Marcy ***]

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[Fall2024inVA]

DISCUSSION: What is your opinion on Grief Counseling?  🤔

Personally it does NOT work for me as I already know what I need to do. Over the years I have had counseling and in my humble opinion counseling is NOT for everyone. But glad that option is there for folks who feel they need it. Also, I am a huge fan of reading Success Stories and Self Help books over the years. These INSPIRE me!!!

I hope to hear from you.

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[MarcyW882921]

I did not seek individual counseling but did join a bereavement group. I am not a group person, but I went into the group with an open mind based on a recommendation from a friend. The facilitator and people in the group were so warm, understanding, and compassionate and I felt safe on day 1. We are all individuals and make decisions about what is best for us. This avenue was a positive experience for me.

Marcy

[Fall2024inVA]

DISCUSSION: Luv Ones Helping Us.

Hello Everyone!!!

As I lay here being LAZY  🙄🙄🙄  before getting up to get dressed to head up to Dollar Tree - I am SO GRATEFUL my luv ones got my back.

HOW ABOUT YOU???  🤔

Must recent gratitude for me may be unimportant for others but I was having a SENIOR MELTDOWN MOMENT in Walmart.

Why?

Never fails, they like to MOVE stuff just when I have my Shopping List all setup with WHICH aisle to find stuff. Yes, have ALWAYS hated shopping and more so at age 66. Go ONLY when I NEED to.

Anyway, I have learn't to have a BACK UP to everything as you know these days one NEVER knows IF an item will be in stock in store or online.

For weeks yours truly has been checking the USUAL spot for the portable Gorilla Tape. Nope, none.

Then THIS Tuesday, my usual day to go to Walmart (out of food day) as I was WALKING BY the craft section after getting Mr's cat food, headed once AGAIN to go see IF tape was there - something made me glance over.

Now keep in mind I NEVER frequent the craft aisle, so had NO reason to glance over there.

Guess what is NOW there INSTEAD of the usual spot.

YES, THE TAPE!!!  💃💃💃

I believe a luved one, not sure who - helped me out BEFORE the tape I had was finished.

Hmmm, I would luv to hear from YOU.

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

Nicole, I think that's entirely possible. They say our loved ones walk beside us always. And of course the old saying of Faith, the evidence of things unseen. 

[jimbohretired]

 Finally am starting to post again. Lost my wife 3 years ago this Christmas but even with that I still feel blessed. She was my life for 53 years - met for the first time in 2nd grade - grew up with her as a friend iI went into the US Army after one year of college while she finished her degree in nursing. I started writing to her about a year before I was discharged and we then spent our lives together when I was discharged. Anyhow I am now functioning very well. Still have no desire to date but have made some good friends and have both a daughter and a son living close by. I talk  with my son almost daily 

Anyhow  I have discovered that for me that staying active is a blessing. I bike 21 miles a day first hour with a couple and the second hour am talking with my son. I also do circuit training 3 days a week.I have joined a few clubs which allows me to interact and not feel so alone. 

Life goes on .

Most current items happening for me is marriage of my oldest granddaughter and death of my oldest brother - He made it to 90 years of age. Another thing that helps is to go back and  think of all the blessings that the Lord has given me over the years. My daughter gave me a wonderful gift this last christmas. The way it works is one is given a series of questions that you answer and which end up in a book. The exercise  reminded  me of all of the blessings and also of the challenges we faced and dealt with over the years. As I said above Life goes on.

[MarcyW882921]

Jimbo @jimboretired ,

It's great that you have come back to post on the forum. Glad that you are feeling blessed and thanks for your positive update.

Marcy

[Fall2024inVA]

Hi Jim @jimbohretired , your post before THIS ONE (from last year 2023) mentioned going on a cruise with friends. Did you go?  🤔  IF YES, how was it? 🤔  WELCOME BACK!!!  💃💃💃

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JIM wrote: Finally am starting to post again. Lost my wife 3 years ago this Christmas but even with that I still feel blessed. She was my life for 53 years - met for the first time in 2nd grade - grew up with her as a friend iI went into the US Army after one year of college while she finished her degree in nursing. I started writing to her about a year before I was discharged and we then spent our lives together when I was discharged. Anyhow I am now functioning very well. Still have no desire to date but have made some good friends and have both a daughter and a son living close by. I talk  with my son almost daily 

Anyhow  I have discovered that for me that staying active is a blessing. I bike 21 miles a day first hour with a couple and the second hour am talking with my son. I also do circuit training 3 days a week.I have joined a few clubs which allows me to interact and not feel so alone. 

Life goes on .

Most current items happening for me is marriage of my oldest granddaughter and death of my oldest brother - He made it to 90 years of age. Another thing that helps is to go back and  think of all the blessings that the Lord has given me over the years. My daughter gave me a wonderful gift this last christmas. The way it works is one is given a series of questions that you answer and which end up in a book. The exercise  reminded  me of all of the blessings and also of the challenges we faced and dealt with over the years. As I said above Life goes on.  ***]

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[Fall2024inVA]

♻️  (3 comments) 📸  DISCUSSION Attachment  📸

[mc6844]

I hear ya Nicole. Except after dentist I have all I can do to drive straight home. It's good to do something positive however. Dollar store has good greeting cards. I think I'm one of the last few who still send by snail mail. I suppose that will be extinct pretty soon kind of like myself lol

[Cadee2719]

  I am with you Mc.  I just purchased another roll of Forever stamps before the price goes up.  I love sending cards and letters to my family and friends.  Today it will be 104 degrees so I plan to stay indoors and doing very little.  Nice to have that option.

[mc6844]

Wow, Cadee. 104 degrees. It's wise to stay in during hottest days. Summers are getting hotter that's for sure. Stay well!

[Fall2024inVA]

Lol MC @mc6844 , the dentist is another story!!!  I run home to get in bed even AFTER my 6-month cleanings.  🤣😂  The STRESS the day before, on the day is enough to make me start drinking. NEVER drank...

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: I hear ya Nicole. Except after dentist I have all I can do to drive straight home. It's good to do something positive however. Dollar store has good greeting cards. I think I'm one of the last few who still send by snail mail. I suppose that will be extinct pretty soon kind of like myself lol ***]

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[mc6844]

Lol. Yup, that darn dentist stress.

[Fall2024inVA]

Chatting and sharing with OTHERS does help us with OUR HEALING  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

 Went to the Block Party.  There were about 70 people there!  Good food and fun.   They even rented a bounce house and slide into a pool for the kids.   This was put on by several firemen that live in the community.  They put on a fireworks show that was unbelievable.  I met so many neighbors.  My "Best Friend" is a four year old named Cooper.  She will be helping me make Christmas cookies this year.  😁  These men stayed up until 1:00 in the morning to clean the entire area.   It was a great 4th of July.

[Cadee2719]

  This has been a busy week for me.  I finalized an appointment with the rheumatologist in November.  The problem was I was going to run out of medication in two weeks!  When I called the doctor in California, he first said "He wanted to see me!!"  I said THAT is not happening for as you know I moved to another state.  Then he said I had to go and get a blood test here, which I did on Friday.  Now I have to do a tele-health call with him and he "may" renew the prescription???  I told him if he refuses to continue the medication until November then to give me instructions on how to wean myself off of the medication.  So I am in "limbo", and have no idea what he plans to do.  In the midst of that I began the process to get a referral to a cardiologist here.  Fortunately the doctor in California said "No problem, I will forward the records and continue your medication until you are seen."  I cannot tell you the number of phone calls all of this has taken.  I have two more doctors to get so I will be busy for a couple of weeks.

 Yesterday my son took me to buy a gas grill for the patio and I AM DONE.  There is nothing more I need to buy for my home.  Now I can  put my feet up and DO NOTHING!!!!!!!   The new owners of the home in California just installed a fence in front to prevent people from entering the property.  I guess the neighborhood is still dealing with people wondering into their yards attempting to enter their home, cars and their backyard.  SO GLAD I NO LONGER LIVE THERE!!!!!!  Each time I go to the farm stand to buy my fruit and vegetables,  I pass a beautiful ranch with horses in the field that come up to the fence and up in the perch on the telephone pole is a huge nest with baby EAGLES.   This is 10 minutes away from the beautiful community I live in.  I am one lucky woman.   Yes, Nicole I put up a bird feeder and sometimes it looks like the movie THE BIRDS with all the birds lined up on the fence waiting their turn to eat.  I get the bird seed that leaves no  mess and believe it or not the birds do not make a mess on my fence.  The birds are the only "wild life" I see.  In CA. I had squirrels, possums, owls, hawks, coyotes, woodpeckers and once even a mountain lion.  😁

[MarcyW882921]

Dear Cadee @Cadee2719 ,

Putting your feet up and doing nothing sounds grand, but it seems like you need to keep your fingers busy dialing the phone in order to get needed attention for your medical needs. I hope your rheumatologist in CA will work with you until you have an appointment with the rheumatologist in Idaho.🤞It appears your rheumatologist could take some lessons from your cardiologist in CA who is willing to work with you to transition you to your next cardiologist. Keep advocating for your needs and you will eventually have all of your medical support in place.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

  I will be persistent.  Thank You Marcy.  Great to hear from you.  ❤️

[mc6844]

I hope you are all well on the forum. I wasn't able to login. But I tried again today and it was ok. 

[MarcyW882921]

Glad to see you MC @mc6844 ! So glad you were able to log in.

Marcy

[mc6844]

Ty Marcy. You sound like you're doing well! ☺️ 

[Fall2024inVA]

MC @mc6844 , in my very humble opinion - some of us will grieve to the day we die.

But as time passes, we are able to MOVE FORWARD in whatever capacity we can.

Some years, I hardly think of my Mamamae (grandma), then other years it seems I am crying - dreaming and missing her BIG TIME.

Awesome discussion!!!

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: I wonder if people think that they will always grieve? I heard this recently. I think it could be true. ***]

[mc6844]

I agree, Nicole. It hits at odd times. Old photos, finding a letter or card etc. can do it. I suppose it's part of the human condition that people pass on, and others are left. Sigh...

[mc6844]

I wonder if people think that they will always grieve? I heard this recently. I think it could be true. 

[MarcyW882921]

I think it could definitely be true MC @mc6844 . People that you have loved deeply will always be a part of you and your life. We miss their love, their physical presence, their touch, and our interactions with them. That is why we grieve. The question is what else can we do with our lives? How do we live our life fully and honor our lost loved ones? These are questions I think about every day and I try to do things that I feel will make my life more meaningful.

Today I ran an errand for a friend who is currently unable to get out. I dropped off some cooked food at a non-profit social service agency to be given to a family of 4 and I am going to dinner with a friend. My husband was a people person and genuinely cared for others. These kinds of things allow his goodness to live on, others benefit, and it brings me joy.

Marcy