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[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

🗣  Stop by when you can to JOIN our Group Discussions and/or CREATE DISCUSSION(s) of your own!!!

[Checkout this discussion posted BELOW 🔽 *** MARCY wrote: So...I would be interested in hearing about anyone's journey to create a living space of your own after the loss of a loved one. Marcy ***]

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[1 comment] WHAT HAS HELPED YOU THE MOST WITH YOUR HEALING JOURNEY?  🤔

Me - my daughter. Knowing she NEEDS me, the only parent she has left. I still have my monents, but I make an effort for her. Nicole  ‌‌🤗🤗🤗‌‌

[mc6844]

That's good Nicole that you and your daughter have each other!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[4/26 10:22am] Did you know that a SELF-CARE ROUTINE helps us on OUR Healing Journeys? Tell us about YOUR ROUTINE!!! Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

I treat myself to Glade Candles. 💃💃💃  When the candles will NO LONGER BURN, I use a sharp knife to scrape a "little" of the remaining candle out and INTO my "tiny" wax burner. I am in heaven...  👍

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[1 comment] Okay, WE are "on our way" with this year with OUR Healing Journeys. ANY 2024 PLANS?  🤔

I NO LONGER do the famous New Year's Resolutions. Why? As I AGE and take 1 Step At A Time, I have had to cancel and make NEW plans. Lol, not always fun but sometimes something BETTER comes along.  💃💃💃  So, I had planned on moving back to Florida 100%. Lol, daughter got laid off 4/11/24 there and only life KNOWS if she will get another Engineering Job there or have to relocate. So I "is" staying in Virginia. Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

That's good Nicole. Your daughter knows where you are.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[1 comment] WHAT HAS BEEN THE HARDEST PART OF YOUR HEALING JOURNEY?  🤔

Me - anger. Anger at NOT having the Love Ones I lost in my life as I age. 66 this year (2024). Nicole  ‌‌🤗🤗🤗‌‌

[mc6844]

I've felt that way too. It certainly isn't an easy journey. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[4/26 9:15am] WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING?  🤔  I will ADD your advice to this list! Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

My Advice - not everyone is going to "understand" your journey, so find ways to connect with folks who do. Not everyone is going to make time for you. TREASURE THE ONES THAT DO AND THANK THEM!!!  👍

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[4 comments] AT SOME POINT OF OUR "HEALING JOURNEY" WE ARE READY TO GET BACK OUT THERE TO SOCIALIZE. ARE YOU? Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  ‌

Me - finally "feeling" the interest to locate some PEACEFUL interactions with folks MY AGE [66 this year 2024]. Lol, had visited the local Senior Center and lost interest once I encountered I guess the member who feels she runs it. Rude and controlling. I had hoped the place would be run by the County who owns it. Guess not.

So NOW to figure out some other "possibilities" and research some other ideas [as I find them].

Nicole  ‌🤗‌

[mc6844]

Nicole, I got a chuckle when I read your post. I could just see you encountering this person, then walking out. So many groups are like that. Have you tried wildlife rescue? I think there's a whole network of people rescuing injured wildlife and getting them to rescue locations. They have people who pick up the animals. It sounds very interesting and rewarding. Just a suggestion!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[2 comments] Lol MC @mc6844  🤣😂  and I did "try" to be NICE to her but...

Yes, here in Cave Spring (Virginia), they do the wildlife thing.  👍

[mc6844]

Nicole, so funny! Know that I'm laughing with you, not at you. I find the wildlife rescue interesting and enjoyable to follow. It's so good those animals don't have to suffer out in the wild or be destroyed. I couldn't do much except take a pic of an injured bird, racoon etc and send it to the local rescue. They have local rescues now for every kind of animal, amazing.

[mc6844]

I'd just like to add it's not easy finding new interests. So much of our interests were tied up with people who aren't here anymore. 

[jonibee]

I came across a book that gives us insight as to how to deal with the loss of loved ones and pets. It's titled "The Love Never Ends" by Sunny Dawn Johnson ..Well worth checking it out....

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[1 comment] Jonibee @jonibee , where did you get YOUR copy?  Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

I believe it was from Thrift Books.com .Another great place is the Salvation Army but you have to delve into looking ...

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(4 comments) Marcy @MarcyW882921 , hmmm - do you mean setting up the home you shared with a luv one who passed?

In your case, your husband.

[1] The challenge is the bedroom deciding whether to keep the bed you BOTH slept in. Are you keeping yours? I tend to want "reminders" gone - not things like pictures, just furniture.

[2] Another challenge is maybe the ROUTINE you may have had with him. Maybe a garden, or sitting on a porch for morning coffee or watching TV in the evenings. Now the garden can be THERAPY as we can continue to work in it to "honor" him. As far as TV programs - that one is "emotional" and stepping away for some time helped.

Not sure what you are needing but this is my 2 cents worth.

Luv you STRONG AND DETERMINED lady!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:

So...I would be interested in hearing about anyone's journey to create a living space of your own after the loss of a loved one.

Marcy ***]

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy for weighing in on this topic. All of us are unique as individuals and therefore in our responses to grief.

One of the presenters in the webinars talked about how the minute your loved one passes away your life is changed. The people in this forum certainly know this is true. I think we have discussed the change in one's identity, the search for who you are without that person, and finding one's purpose in life.

Another change is our perception of our living space. Are you comfortable there without your loved one? Can you continue to live there? Are changes needed to improve your comfort level? Is there a desire to "make it your own" reflecting your personal tastes?

I have been very comfortable in my home because I feel love and a presence. I did however do a remodeling of two rooms that we had planned together. I did make selections in the process that reflected my personal tastes. Recently I changed some window treatments and bedspreads that create an even happier place for me.

All the best to everyone who is working through all of these issues.

Marcy

[MarcyW882921]

So...I would be interested in hearing about anyone's journey to create a living space of your own after the loss of a loved one.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Stop by when you can to JOIN Marcy's @MarcyW882921 discussion!!! Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** MARCY wrote:

So...I would be interested in hearing about anyone's journey to create a living space of your own after the loss of a loved one. Marcy ***]

---

[mc6844]

Marcy, that is a good topic. Arranging living space is a great way to move oneself forward. Especially if I'm not up to conventional ways like for instance, moving. A counselor pointed out to me that selling my home may feel like another loss. Something that hadn't occurred to me. I did get clutter cleared from my kitchen. Painted the walls. It makes it easier and pleasant. 

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks mc @mc6844 . That is interesting about selling your home being another potential loss. The easier and pleasant changes you made must have felt good! All of this is beneficial information for us on this forum.

Marcy

[mc6844]

Thank you Marcy. You brought up a good topic. Getting stored stuff in my kitchen cupboards cleared was a big job. During the illness I didn't have the time or energy. My neighbor helped me to haul bags of stuff. I was out in the driveway with all this stuff and they offered a hand. Lol I think they were sorry they asked. I also cleared a sunroom. But don't enjoy sitting there like I thought. All in all, my place feels lighter and is easier to clean and manage. I have a very small space. It's fine. We downsized quite some time ago. I also have an owl outside though always out of site. It feels lighter removing items like cups and bowls and items utilized during the illness. New curtains, pillows for couch, coat of fresh paint in kitchen. New kitchen towels, soup bowls and a few dishes. To help food be more appetizing. We can create new where we are. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Yes MC @mc6844 , replacing "small" items/downsizing has really helped me to kind of have a NEW routine.

My daughter "keeps" stuff. Gosh, she will need to rethink her townhouse by the time she gets to my age = will be NO room.

I am very contented in my CUTE Studio Apartment but need to move it offgrid. Tired of my neighbors. So that is priority for when my lease expires. Need peace and quiet in my Old Age.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

📚  BOOK LIST (books read & recommended by Grief Forum members)  📚

(1) So Sorry for Your Loss: How I Learned to Live with Grief, and Other Grave Concerns. Book by Dina Gachman.

(2) Grieving: How to Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies. Book by Therese A Rando.

(3) Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. Book by Martha Whitmore Hickman.

(4) The Love Never Ends (Messages from the Other Side ) by Sunny Dawn Johnson.

(5) The Grieving Brain, by Mary-Frances O'Connor.

(6) When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner.

(7) The Widower's Notebook a memoir by Jonathan Santlofer.

(8) Mindfulness & Grief by Heather Stang.

(9) I Wasn't ready To Say Goodbye by Brook Noel & Pamela D. Blair, PhD.

(10) Life After Loss Conquering Grief and Finding Hope by Raymond Moody Jr., M.D. and Dianne Arcangel.

(11) Different After You Rediscovering Yourself and Healing After Grief and Trauma by Michele Neff Hernandez.

(12) Grieving: How to Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies. Book by Therese A Rando.

(13) The Love Never Ends: Messages from the Other Side. Book by Sunny Dawn Johnston.

(14) Widow to Widow by Genevieve Ginsburg.

(15) Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey.

(16) Hello from Heaven: A New Field of Research-After-Death Communication Confirms That Life and Love Are Eternal. Book by Bill Guggenheim and Judy Guggenheim.

(17) When Your Spouse Dies, A Widow and Widower's Handbook by Othniel J. Seiden and Jane Bilett.

(18) On Death and Grieving: A Psychic Medium's Perspective. Jeffrey A. Wands.

(19) Journey of Souls by Michael Newton PhD.

[Therapist4u]

Hi Nicole! Great compilation!

KUDOS FOR ALL YOUR EFFORT & TIME YOU PUT INTO THIS!

Keep on Keeping on!

Take care!          

☮️  🌄 ~Allen 🌈  🎨

[mc6844]

Allen, I agree. Nicole does a wonderful job on this forum. Lots of thought and devotion. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[4 comments] Are you SLEEPING at nights?  🤔

What "helps" you to get those zzz's in?

I DREAD nights.

Some I am AWAKE ALL NIGHT.

Nicole   🤗🤗🤗