WE ARE SORRY for your loss 💛

[SummerOnTheWay1]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief & Loss Team  🤗

[LaurelH1933]

The anniversary of my husband's death is next Tuesday. I am dreading that day.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎  Online" SUPPORT for your journey - before you bury your luv one & after.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

SO MANY decisions to be made!!!

Let us help you through all of this = WE ALSO lost someone we cared about.

Our wonderful AARP Experts Jane @JaneCares & Amy @agoyer do stop by to SUPPORT us. Thank you Jane & Amy.

Grief & Loss Team  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌

[agoyer]

@SummerOnTheWay1 happy to help out anyway I can! 

be sure to check out the section on AARP’s website with grief and loss support. There’s lots of good articles and information there!

www.AARP.org/griefandloss 

tc

Amy Goyer, AARP Family and Caregiving Expert

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌📎   For those of us who have "furbabies" - remember THEY ARE ALSO missing the person you guys lost!!!

So try to give them SOME EXTRA attention & luv. TOGETHER you guys will survive your loss.

I have a cat by the name of Mister and trust me, he EXPECTS his breakfast at 6am. Lol, at that time I probably just fell asleep from a night of NO SLEEP. But I get up and feed and luv on him. Luvs under his chin rubbed. Furbabies keep us MOVING FORWARD [getting out of bed daily].

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[MichelleC103656]

Hey Nicole! Thanks for sending love to my furbabies last night. Our girl cats really need it. Bristol, the Lynx Point, and Nova, the gray and white Manx haven't been feeling so well the last couple of days. The vet said that they are having bad allergic reactions to their new flea medicine. We have had fleas and ticks so bad in New York this Summer. We have had to give them lots of baths and bomb the house. Our boy cat, Stewie, hasn't been bothered as much. The girls have been infested and have been losing their fur in spots. The new medicine irritated them and made them sick.The vet suggested we try something more natural and less harsh. We have used coconut oil with some success. We have just been so worried and upset. We hate seeing them suffer. It makes you feel so helpless. Well, I have to go. Thank you for your encouraging and reassuring words. 🙂💌🐱🐱🐱👩‍🏫

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎  A place to share and support EACH OTHER with comments [pictures too].  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

What is going on in YOUR LIFE?  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤔‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

WE share OUR JOURNEY while grieving & after grieving. Some of us are still grieving AFTER losing our luv one(s) YEARS AGO. Grief has NO schedule & TOGETHER we will make it.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💛‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Some days we have a "chuckle" at what a member posts.

Some days "tears" are in our eyes.

Other days we are doing a HAPPY DANCE WITH THEM as they get STRONGER on their journey.

YOU got this.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Grief & Loss Team  🤗  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[MichelleC103656]

Nicole, you are so wonderful and nice!  You always have something positive to say. It is so very true what you are saying about grief. My sister and I still miss our Dad so much every day. We miss seeing him and talking to him. We really miss his wonderful advice. He was so much to so many. People who used to work with him or were his friends still tell me what a great guy he was. It makes me so happy. I think about him more when it the week of my birthday. The year he died, 2015, my birthday was on Monday. He died on Friday, October 2nd, which was my great grandmother's birthday. Every year, my birthday reminds me of the anniversary of his death. I have to go now. I can't see,because I can't stop crying. Thank you for your kind words and fantastic attitude. You are a real treasure. 🙂💌👩‍🏫

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎  Like weather seasons, WE HAVE LIFE SEASONS.

Try to enjoy what you can as YOUR LIFE SEASON changes.

Like Winter, we have all experienced a winter in the form of our version of Winter (grief).

So sorry for YOUR LOSS & know things will fall in place. NEVER give up on seeking peace in the midst of your Winter (grief).

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[mc6844]

Nicole, so nice to see you here. I haven't dropped by in some time. Except grief is always with us  Trying to enjoy what we can is a great reminder. There are so many challenges it's easy to forget wonderful places such as this. Where people just, know. I hope all on the forum are well as can be. Take care!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎  Stop by when you can to encourage others [respond to THEIR POST]  or ASK FOR SOME.

WE ALL have days/nights when we need this!!!

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[mc6844]

I encourage those on the forum to just keep going. Sometimes we have a tough day or sleepless night. Maybe troubled souls cross our path. Or just trying to keep ourselves and lives together during these times. We slowly learn not to present ourselves in a vulnerable manner. And still be loving individuals. Time takes time. We are living in answered prayer.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎  Well said MC @mc6844 !!! I started counseling last month and glad I did. Found out it is very "healthy" to avoid TOXIC folks. They DRAIN you and keep on going.

Luv,

Nicole. ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum)

‌➡️‌[*** MC 

@mc6844 wrote:
I encourage those on the forum to just keep going. Sometimes we have a tough day or sleepless night. Maybe troubled souls cross our path. Or just trying to keep ourselves and lives together during these times. We slowly learn not to present ourselves in a vulnerable manner. And still be loving individuals. Time takes time. We are living in answered prayer.

[dw53874168]

I lost my husband of 49 years in February.  It’s been 6 months now & it just isn’t getting better. I cry every night. I stay so busy during the day just so I don’t think about it. 

[l124289r]

I am not convinced "tis better to have loved and lost . . . " but I do envy you and others their long relationships. I have never married, lost my career, was diagnosed with debilitating illnesses, lost my financial security, lost my lifestyle, lost access to passionate pursuits, lost productive occupation, lost my friends, and lost close family connections. I think it would have been rewarding to have a long-term romantic relationship but it would also be one more loss on my "pile." Getting out from under all that has been almost impossible and I actually just try not to lose more. Unfortunately, now I cling to "things" which cost little to maintain and accept me as I am -- at any given moment! After over 20 years of these changes, I still yearn for the life that I felt I was just building and then the rejection and disregard of people I have cared about. Since I turned 65 this month, I would like to accept and finally let go of how I wanted my life to be. What I have is pathetic to me and has been unacceptable but none of my attempts to improve circumstances has worked. I feel that I have no choice but to shut down and give up every little strand left of my past. But since no substitutions have worked either, I feel like a black hole just closing down, collapsing into myself. If not for my dog . . . . 

[SereneSeagull]

Hi, your post touched me.  I don’t know if I have any words that would comfort you, but I do want to tell you that I read your post and I’m sorry for the things that are so overwhelming for you.

What kind of dog do you have?

 I’m a cat person, myself.  Although our cat is not a dog, we try and teach it tricks!  It knows many words, but the best is when we say “squirrel”, he’ll come dashing in the room eager to see it from the window!   

Pets can be a great comfort.  I think many times more than people, if that makes any sense.  I hope your precious dog brings you comfort and love as well.  They can sense we need something too!

[mc6844]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. 49 yrs is a long time. I'm so glad you're stopping in at this forum. There are good people here who have gone through and experiencing what you're going through. Each time you're here you can leave a bit of grief and hopefully feel a little lighter. For those of us who were married young and/or in long relationships we learn new ways of doing things.  A counselor is a good idea. If you're not up to in person then there are online options. It's great that you're teaching out on this forum. The focus is on grief.  This helps us not to ignore our grief. Please take care!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎 [8/27/25]@dw53874168 , I am so sorry for your loss dear friend!!!

IF you have any "questions" we do have two totally AWESOME AARP Experts who stop by to SUPPORT us. Jane @JaneCares & Amy @agoyer have also lost people they cared about.

WE are here whenever you NEED us ALWAYS.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** 

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@dw53874168 wrote:

I lost my husband of 49 years in February.  It’s been 6 months now & it just isn’t getting better. I cry every night. I stay so busy during the day just so I don’t think about it. 

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[CeciliaH401383]

I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband and I were married for 52 years when I lost him on Thanksgiving almost 6 years ago. The pain is still there, but it’s manageable, and changes. We just keep doing one day at a time. Some are really hard still, but some are ok too. I’m lucky to have good friends, and family nearby. I hope you have someone who is a willing ear. Two of my closest friends are also widows, and I find it easier to be open with them, because they understand. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎[Wednesday 5/6/26] OUR GROUP "online" WELLNESS CHECK!!!

WE are thinking about YOU. How are you doing TODAY? Grief & Loss Team 🤗

GROUP MEMBERS - @mc6844 , @dw53874168 , @l124289r , @CeciliaH401383 , @MichelleC103656 , @PaulW643687 , @JoeJ415665  , @jbar4650 , @sandyslaga , @JamesK33 , @LaurelH1933 , @BillD916633 , @d54062e , @Xheved , @ChrisHarbuck101 , @thespina 

[JamesK33]

 I have been doing much better during the past several weeks.  That said, I went into a tailspin following the anniversary of my wife's death in early March.  I believe the source of my problem was a loss of hope.  But finally realized that my cup overflows with blessings if I will only stop and pay attention.  Thanks for checking on me.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Wednesday 5/6/26]

Dear James @JamesK33 , you are welcome!!!

SO GLAD you stopped by to see us.

Yes, those anniversaries are AWFUL and all WE CAN do is get through them.

They say it gets EASIER each year, I am still WAITING for that my friend.

I had planned on GROWING OLD with him but GRATEFUL for our precious daughter, our "only" child - my rock & best friend.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

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➡️[*** JAMES @JamesK33 wrote:

 I have been doing much better during the past several weeks.  That said, I went into a tailspin following the anniversary of my wife's death in early March.  I believe the source of my problem was a loss of hope.  But finally realized that my cup overflows with blessings if I will only stop and pay attention.  Thanks for checking on me.

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[MichelleC103656]

I have been sad the last few days. I am thinking about my granddaughter, Brea, and my Mom and mother-in-law. They all won't be with our family on Sunday for Mother's Day. I feel very sad for my daughter, Katie, because this will be her first Mother's Day without Brea. I have been feeling very lost and out of it. I will try to put on a happy face for the other kids and my husband. I hope that everyone that can will have a Happy Mother's Day. It is always wonderful to hear from you, Nicole! Hugs and Luv to you and Mister from me and the Crew! 🙂🤗🐈😻😸🐱😺

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎  [Wednesday 5/6/26]

Dear Michelle @MichelleC103656 , I can only imagine what you are going through my friend.

It is bad enough when we lose ONE person, but here you and Jim are dealing with THREE at the SAME time.

Yes, we expect to lose our parents as they age. But it is still AWFUL & SAD. 😭

With losing your granddaughter Brea, I still cannot wrap my head around this. Way TOO YOUNG!!! 😤

I hope the driver who killed her knows what he did. Taken a young life from her family. 😭

Mister 🐈 sends his luv to Bristol 🐈, Stewie 🐈 and Nova 🐈. He has been outside since having lunch ignoring my calling him. Like Stewie, luvs being outside. It rained earlier and we needed it. We are below what we usually have and lots of warnings about wildfires.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗💛

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➡️[*** MICHELLE @MichelleC103656 wrote:

I have been sad the last few days. I am thinking about my granddaughter, Brea, and my Mom and mother-in-law. They all won't be with our family on Sunday for Mother's Day. I feel very sad for my daughter, Katie, because this will be her first Mother's Day without Brea. I have been feeling very lost and out of it. I will try to put on a happy face for the other kids and my husband. I hope that everyone that can will have a Happy Mother's Day. It is always wonderful to hear from you, Nicole! Hugs and Luv to you and Mister from me and the Crew! 🙂🤗🐈😻😸🐱😺

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[MichelleC103656]

Hey,Nicole! Yes, it has all been way too much. It has months of neverending pain and grief. This is another horrible and bad thing. The guy that killed our granddaughter and injured her friend and the friend's parents has still not been charged with anything. We keep calling and checking in with the police and investigators. They just keep saying that it is an ongoing investigation. It has made it even more heartbreaking. It is ridiculous. It angers and upsets us. We don't understand. We know that he was speeding. We don't know if he was also drunk, on drugs, texting, had a medical emergency, or what. We can't get any answers. I was just thinking that we should call our local news stations and ask them to investigate. It seems like the police are hiding something or keeping secrets. It all just makes Brea's death that much worse. No one is being punished, unless you count her friends and family. It is yet another unfair and unjust part of life. Thank you for your thoughts and kind words. Luv and Hugs to you and Mister from me and mine! 🤗🐈😸😻🐱😺

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📎  [Wednesday 5/6/26]

Oh YES dear Michelle @MichelleC103656 , these days here in Virginia with weed being LEGAL & cops NO longer "allowed" to pull someone over when they SMELL WEED from them = I NO longer enjoy driving. But will have to venture out to keep my sanity next week when I pick up my new vehicle. It has been 7 months of being "chauffeured" and even with being a BACKSEAT driver was a nervous wreck by the time my old a.s made it back home. I thanked the totally awesome & careful 3 LOA (local office of aging) guys who pick me up every Monday for groceries at Kroger.

*** Yes, I would contact your local media. This man needs to be OFF THE STREETS. 😤😤😤

So sorry about all this dear friend,

Nicole 🤗💛

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➡️[*** MICHELLE @MichelleC103656 wrote:

Hey,Nicole! Yes, it has all been way too much. It has months of neverending pain and grief. This is another horrible and bad thing. The guy that killed our granddaughter and injured her friend and the friend's parents has still not been charged with anything. We keep calling and checking in with the police and investigators. They just keep saying that it is an ongoing investigation. It has made it even more heartbreaking. It is ridiculous. It angers and upsets us. We don't understand. We know that he was speeding. We don't know if he was also drunk, on drugs, texting, had a medical emergency, or what. We can't get any answers. I was just thinking that we should call our local news stations and ask them to investigate. It seems like the police are hiding something or keeping secrets. It all just makes Brea's death that much worse. No one is being punished, unless you count her friends and family. It is yet another unfair and unjust part of life. Thank you for your thoughts and kind words. Luv and Hugs to you and Mister from me and mine! 🤗🐈😸😻🐱😺

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[MichelleC103656]

Thanks, Nicole. New York is terrible about getting people arrested and charged with so many crimes. Even when they do finally catch someone, they end up releasing them on appearance tickets. Too many of those people don't show up for future court dates and go on to commit more crimes. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I guess because I had way too many other things on my mind. A lot of people are on the news for different reasons that they couldn't get help and asked the reporters to help them get some answers. I know what you mean about being nervous about driving. There are so many bad and dangerous people on the roads. We have came so close to being hit head on and in the sides way too many times. It is just as bad or worse being driven around, because you can't do anything to make the people drive better and smarter. You are at their mercy. Thank you, again, Nicole, for your support and kind words!  Hugs and Luv! 🤗🙂😻🐈😸🐱😺

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Wednesday 5/6/26]

You are welcome dear Michelle @MichelleC103656 and thank you SO MUCH for being a "part" of OUR GROUP!!!

Between 2023 and 2024, I "hid" at home and finally "surfaced" in 2025 = started to WANT to see what was OUTSIDE my 4 walls. Then the Head Gasket drama & broken ankle "clipped" my old wings from October 2025 to now (May 2026). Part of me NEEDS to get back out there and still MISSING my "Old Lady" (2006 Hyundai Elantra 185,217 miles). It was like losing a family member. 😭

All WE CAN DO, is 1 step at a time.

And for the "youngsters" now in OUR lives, I guess WE NEED to continue on. I know this "mentally" in my head, but it is SO HARD to be willing to step out. See what EACH day has for us.

SO GLAD you have Jim by YOUR side & your fur baby crew. I am SO GRATEFUL for my daughter & Mister.

As you said, they KNOW just what WE NEED. Mister has returned & passed out beside me. My boy!

Luv,

Nicole 💛🤗

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➡️[*** MICHELLE @MichelleC103656 wrote:

Thanks, Nicole. New York is terrible about getting people arrested and charged with so many crimes. Even when they do finally catch someone, they end up releasing them on appearance tickets. Too many of those people don't show up for future court dates and go on to commit more crimes. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I guess because I had way too many other things on my mind. A lot of people are on the news for different reasons that they couldn't get help and asked the reporters to help them get some answers. I know what you mean about being nervous about driving. There are so many bad and dangerous people on the roads. We have came so close to being hit head on and in the sides way too many times. It is just as bad or worse being driven around, because you can't do anything to make the people drive better and smarter. You are at their mercy. Thank you, again, Nicole, for your support and kind words!  Hugs and Luv! 🤗🙂😻🐈😸🐱😺

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[MichelleC103656]

I am so glad to have found you and the Group. Losing our loved ones has been the worst, but finding others who understand and can relate really helps so much. I know what you mean about hiding. I do it some days. I will just stay upstairs and sit in my chair. It was hard to get out of bed, and I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I just want to sit and not do anything. Jim,our families, and the furbabies help so much. I couldn't imagine going through everything all by myself. I am glad that you have your daughter and Mister. It has been so nice chatting with you, as always. We had dinner a little while ago, macaroni and tomatoes. It was so ironic. I had been thinking about it, and Jim suggested it. It used to be a favorite dish of my Mom's. Then, he said that his Mom used to make it. I think it was them sending us a message. I am always looking for messages and meaning in things. My sister, Debbie, and I always say that when Cardinals come around, it is because our parents knew that we were thinking about them. I have to close for now. We have dishes to finish. Thanks for being here, Nicole. I look forward to chatting again real soon. Hugs and Luv to you and Mister! 🤗🐈 Oh,you said Mister came in, and Stewie just asked to go out again. It has been in the 40s and raining. 🌧We are So Sick and Tired of the rain. 🌂Okay,I must go. Bye for now!  👋😺🐱😸

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Wednesday 5/6/26]

Lol, YES - I too need to get up and do the stuff I have been AVOIDING all day!!! 😅

Need to do my DAILY 1/2 hour walk inside my Studio Apt. Keeps me from being pre-diabetic. 👍

Yes dear Michelle @MichelleC103656 , I "believe" in SIGNS/MESSAGES.

When I am having a ROUGH day and still in bed past the time I SHOULD be up, a "gentle" breeze arrives that "gently" moves the branches of the HUGE tree outside my one window. As a child I would hide in one. My comfort.

I will be doing another "online" GROUP WELLNESS CHECK June 1st. But you already know I am ALWAYS here if you need to "chat" BEFORE that.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗💛

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➡️[*** MICHELLE @MichelleC103656 wrote:

I am so glad to have found you and the Group. Losing our loved ones has been the worst, but finding others who understand and can relate really helps so much. I know what you mean about hiding. I do it some days. I will just stay upstairs and sit in my chair. It was hard to get out of bed, and I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I just want to sit and not do anything. Jim,our families, and the furbabies help so much. I couldn't imagine going through everything all by myself. I am glad that you have your daughter and Mister. It has been so nice chatting with you, as always. We had dinner a little while ago, macaroni and tomatoes. It was so ironic. I had been thinking about it, and Jim suggested it. It used to be a favorite dish of my Mom's. Then, he said that his Mom used to make it. I think it was them sending us a message. I am always looking for messages and meaning in things. My sister, Debbie, and I always say that when Cardinals come around, it is because our parents knew that we were thinking about them. I have to close for now. We have dishes to finish. Thanks for being here, Nicole. I look forward to chatting again real soon. Hugs and Luv to you and Mister! 🤗🐈 Oh,you said Mister came in, and Stewie just asked to go out again. It has been in the 40s and raining. 🌧We are So Sick and Tired of the rain. 🌂Okay,I must go. Bye for now!  👋😺🐱😸

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