WE ARE SORRY for your loss 💛

[SummerOnTheWay1]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief & Loss Team  🤗

[SummerOnTheWay1]

ANTICIPATORY grief!

In this type of grief, you experience loss BEFORE it occurs. This can happen when you learn a loved one has a TERMINAL illness, for example.

*** My heart goes out to anyone dealing with this type of grief. In my opinion, next to an "unexpected" loss (like a car accident) - this is one of the WORST to deal with. ‌‌‌‌😞‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

➡️‌‌‌‌‌‌[*** PLAN AHEAD for grief “triggers".

Anniversaries, holidays, and important milestones can reawaken painful memories and feelings. BE PREPARED for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. You can plan ahead by making sure that you’re not alone, for example, or by marking your loss in a creative way.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

👨‍👦‌   IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, remember that they are grieving, too. It will take time for the whole family to adjust to life without your loved one. You may find that your relationship with your children and their relationships with each other have changed. OPEN, HONEST communication is important.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌💰‌‌‌   IT IS FREE!!!

Remember, LISTENING to someone costs ZERO and you have made that person feel wanted and cared for.

YES, we all receive the stuff that cost money (money, giftcards, flowers, condolence cards/notes) BUT I know how much being listened to has WARMED my insides!!!

So think of someone TODAY who may be NEEDING your ear...

Thanks,

Nicole ‌ ‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🕯‌   Consider COUNSELING: A therapist or grief counselor can provide professional guidance.

(1) Some of us attended Group Supports online or in person.

(2) While others preferred the "privacy" of Individual Counseling.

*** Choose what works for YOU!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌⛈‌‌️‌‌☃️‌‌     Sometimes the WEATHER can "affect" OUR MOODS & having a Plan B, C and so on "in place" for those NOT NICE weather days & nights is wisdom. ‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌

We can for example, go OUTSIDE and "dance" in the rain. Yes, being a kid again. ‌‌‌‌‌😉‌‌‌‌‌

Or light a fire & sip hot chocolate while we read.

Do whatever "uplifts" you on those DREARY rainy or cold days.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌♻️‌‌‌‌‌   ARE YOU NEW TO OUR FORUM [Grief & Loss]? ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤔‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[1] You can either create a NEW POST or JOIN another post created by another member to share YOUR JOURNEY.

[2] IF you need help with anything on THIS SITE, you can "reply" to this post or send me a PM (AARP Private Message).

[3] WE have ALL been "new" at some point & this site can be a "challenge" to use.

Grief & Loss Team ‌‌🤗‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

💤‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌😴‌‌   NOT Sleeping At Nights?

Try to "nap" during the day.

Why?

Even a FEW MINUTES of "shut eye" will help with YOUR sadness. ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🕯‌   Be SPECIFIC: Tell people what you need (e.g., a hug, help with errands).

*** Yes, we DONOT want to be a "burden" but they want to HELP. ‌‌ ‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🏡‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   The EXPERTS tell us to WAIT before making Housing Decisions!!!

Why?

While WE ARE GRIEVING, sometimes we tend to make "decisions" based on OUR EMOTIONS.

We want the "memories" to NOT hurt!!!

Maybe "step away" from YOUR Housing Setup & stay with family/friends.

Use THIS TIME to deal with the stuff that CANNOT WAIT.

Then REVISIT the Housing Topic.

Some of us stayed put & made changes.

Some of us downsized as finances had changed.

Some of us relocated to be near to family.

DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU ALWAYS.

Grief  & Loss Team  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🪔   You might need to:

(1) Write a NEW will and UPDATE your advance care planning.

(2) Look into a durable power of attorney for legal matters and health care in case you are unable to make your own medical decisions in the future.

(3) Put JOINT property (such as a house or car) in your name.

(4) Consider changes you may need to make to your health insurance as well as to your life, car, and homeowner’s insurance.

(5) Make a list of BILLS you will need to pay in the next few months, for example, your rent or mortgage; utilities such as electricity, water, and phone and internet services; insurance; and state and federal taxes.

*** Try NOT to "stress" and take 1 step at a time!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📸[*** .gif attached]  Sending a HUG your way my friend 🤗💛

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🏞‌   JUST FOR TODAY - Take a walk or drive to somewhere beautiful. BOTH will remind YOU of nature & how nature SURVIVES no matter what. Wildlife ALSO lose luv ones but somehow NEVER give up. Hey, WE CAN DO THE SAME my friend(s). You got this!!! ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🙁‌   DEPRESSION: In this stage, we begin to realize and feel the true extent of the death or loss. Common signs of depression in this stage include trouble sleeping, poor appetite, fatigue, lack of energy, and crying spells. We may also have self-pity and feel lonely, isolated, empty, lost, and anxious.

*** Maybe talking to a professional may help. But family and friends are okay too.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

😤‌   ANGER: A necessary stage, where pain RESURFACES, sometimes directed at doctors, family, or the deceased.

*** WE ALL have our "moments" = NEVER feel you are a bad person when you do!!! Try to "talk" about this with people who "understand & donot judge". With TIME, you will find PEACE.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👣‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   Creating a NEW LIFE AFTER A LOSS is not easy, but we will ONE STEP AT A TIME.

Sometimes in life WE NEED TO TAKE A STEP BACKWARD.

Why?

WE may have thought we had a SOLUTION to an "issue" only to find it IT WAS NOT A FIT.

It is okay. You got out there dear friend(s) INSTEAD OF STAYING IN BED sleeping your life away.

It is OKAY to "step backwards" to REGROUP & TRY AGAIN when you are ready.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🕯   SUPPORTING A GRIEVER!

When someone tells you they are there for you, brings you flowers or comfort food, or your best friend comes over after you’ve told her not to (because you didn’t want to be a bother) because she knows you that well – those are the types of things that make a difference.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

💡   Find healthy DISTRACTIONS: Engage in activities like reading, listening to music, volunteering, or light exercise.

*** WE "deserve" moments of peace and relaxation on OUR Healing Journey!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📌   It CHANGES You: Grief may alter your perspective on life, priorities, and beliefs.

*** Sometimes it "reminds" us to make time for the people we CARE about TODAY. Tomorrow is NOT "promised" to any of us.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌🪔   Key Grief SUPPORT Resources & Services!

[1] Support GROUPS: Offers nationwide support groups. Local funeral homes and churches also provide community groups.

[2] Counseling & Therapy: Licensed professionals provide specialized grief counseling to help process emotions.

[3] HOSPICE Bereavement Services: Provide free, up to one-year follow-up support for families, including phone calls and counseling.

[4] ONLINE/National Resources: Offer educational resources and coping strategies.

[5] Support for CHILDREN: There are organizations who specialize in helping children and teens.

[6] IMMEDIATE Crisis Support: If you are in crisis, call or text your local Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

*** IF one does NOT work for you, "try" another one. NEVER give up on finding a fit.  ‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📍  Practice SELF-CARE: Maintain routines, eat well, and try to get regular sleep.

*** Self care is NOT being selfish. It is about "surviving" the best you can while grieving. ‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

❌️   Myth:

Grieving should last about a YEAR.

✅️   Fact:

There is NO specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes DIFFERS from person to person.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌📍‌  Offer to HELP!

NOT everyone feels comfortable asking for help, even when they need it. Pay attention to ways you can assist and volunteer to help.

(1) Can you drive the kids to school?

(2) Help with the laundry?

(3) Cook or provide grocery gift cards to help keep everyone fed?

*** Just ask them what "help" they need!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📌   There will be GOOD & BAD days. You may feel guilty or surprised for laughing at a joke or enjoying a visit with a friend. It is important to understand that these can be common feelings.

*** OUR "emotions" are a part of OUR journey moving forward.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🪔   Choose!

Making intentional choices during grief allows YOU to navigate YOUR emotions and regain a sense of CONTROL over YOUR life. This might mean choosing to engage in activities that promote YOUR well-being or deciding to take a step back from certain social engagements that feel overwhelming.

[PaulW643687]

Would like to join this group husband passed away 2 months ago

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌📎   The EXPERTS tell us to WAIT before making Housing Decisions!!!

Why?

While WE ARE GRIEVING, sometimes we tend to make "decisions" based on OUR EMOTIONS.

We want the "memories" to NOT hurt!!!

Maybe "step away" from YOUR Housing Setup & stay with family/friends.

Use THIS TIME to deal with the stuff that CANNOT WAIT.

Then REVISIT the Housing Topic.

Some of us stayed put & made changes.

Some of us downsized as finances had changed.

Some of us relocated to be near to family.

DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU ALWAYS.

Grief  & Loss Team  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[mc6844]

I am back here at this wonderful group. It's been 3 yrs for me. I've been wanting to move. Except don't feel physically up to it. I'm looking into other options. I remember everyone from the group and hope both old and new are finding hope and help. Thank you for all your support along the way. It's easy to drop in here, no appointments etc.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

📸[*** .gif attached] WE care about YOU!!!

[mc6844]

Thank you! I care about you all too.