The Final Goodbye

[mc6844]

I think The Final Goodbye is the hardest, and most challenging part of an impending passing. I realized I was stuffing this inside of me. That I wasn't there at the exact time of death. A half hour late. I was wondering how others are dealing with their Final Goodbyes. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(5 comments) Hi MC @mc6844 , I have "several" Final Goodbyes and I guess I have grown to ACCEPT what happened.

Have you tried counseling or a support group?

[mc6844]

Thank you, Nicole. I was really referring to if people were with the loved one when they passed? The ones that meant the most to me passed a day after I visited, or just before I got there. I was wondering how it all affects the grieving process. Also, so many people are choosing cremation due to costs of funerals. When there isn't final viewing how does that affect acceptance and grieving. 

[layla52]

Hello.  I will try to give a short version.  My husband was admitted to the hospital 9/7/23 for a procedure that would keep him overnight.  After the procedure he developed complications.  He was an inpatient for 11 days.  He then had to begin dialysis.  He was home for about 2 weeks and admitted again due to an infection of unknown origin.  This hospitalization was for 22 days.  Home again for a little more than 2 weeks and back to the hospital with extreme shortness of breath.  Doctors said he needed a heart procedure to replace the aortic valve.  After that was done, he went into complete heart block and suffered a stroke. After 1 month in the hospital, he was transferred to a rehab facility.  He was there from 12/8 and discharged 12/28.  He was very weak and in terrible pain.  He wanted to come home.  I took him home 12/28 with hospice.  He passed away January 1st.  I was with him and holding his hand when he passed.  I slept at the hospital the whole time, beginning 9/7 until he came home.  I am not doing very well with my grief.  I cry all the time.  I miss him terribly and find myself unable to concentrate on much else.

I attended 1 grief group session and found it very difficult.  

[mc6844]

Layla. I am so very sorry for your loss.Yet very glad you found this forum. Expressing your feelings and emotions a little at a time will make you feel better. There are good and kind people who post here. Take care!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(1 comment) @layla52 , I am sorry for your loss  💙💙💙

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[*** @layla52 wrote:

Hello.  I will try to give a short version.  My husband was admitted to the hospital 9/7/23 for a procedure that would keep him overnight.  After the procedure he developed complications.  He was an inpatient for 11 days.  He then had to begin dialysis.  He was home for about 2 weeks and admitted again due to an infection of unknown origin.  This hospitalization was for 22 days.  Home again for a little more than 2 weeks and back to the hospital with extreme shortness of breath.  Doctors said he needed a heart procedure to replace the aortic valve.  After that was done, he went into complete heart block and suffered a stroke. After 1 month in the hospital, he was transferred to a rehab facility.  He was there from 12/8 and discharged 12/28.  He was very weak and in terrible pain.  He wanted to come home.  I took him home 12/28 with hospice.  He passed away January 1st.  I was with him and holding his hand when he passed.  I slept at the hospital the whole time, beginning 9/7 until he came home.  I am not doing very well with my grief.  I cry all the time.  I miss him terribly and find myself unable to concentrate on much else.

I attended 1 grief group session and found it very difficult.  ***]

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[layla52]

Thank you!  I have lost both my parents at a young age and also both my brothers, as well as other close relatives and friends.  They have all been devastating.  This loss now of my husband is just so overwhelming.