Husband dies alone

[JulieT507376]

My husband of 45 years died alone with our border collie Sadie by his side on December 4th.  I was out of town to visit a grandson.  I FaceTime my husband the night before.  He wasn’t feeling good.  I convinced him to go to the doctor the next morning.  When I called the next morning he didn’t answer.  The neighbors went to check on him for me and found him passed.  It was totally unexpected.  Possibly an Aneurysm took him at 65 years old!  185lbs, physically fit and had dreams to many to list.  He had yet to collect his pensions.  

My two adult sons don’t want me home alone.  I’m not sure I believe he’s gone.  I feel guilty I wasn’t with him when he died and feel guilty I’m getting his pensions that he deserved to spend on his dreams.  Then add on the huge void in my life and my aching heart.  What more can I handle.  I’m so numb and sad. 

[mc6844]

Mark, I'm so sorry for your loss. The impact of loss can create a frightening void. The people on this site can help. Sharing how you're doing helps to lessen the grief. At a time when family and friends are also grieviing and bewildered, and don't know what to do or say. There is a topic on this site about signs from loved ones. It's a hopeful topic. There's so much we don't know about the afterlife. They say our loved ones walk beside us always. Take care, Mark.

[KarenD230399]

I I am so very sorry for your loss my heart aches for you. Please know that when friends, family and even strangers give advice it is because they have been or still is going through it and because we do care.( I am going to change the word "advice " to suggestions ). I , myself is going to ask a favor from you. PLEASE know that it was not your fault. If you or him would have known I am 100 percent positive you would have been there. One week before my  oldest son was killed on a motorcycle he called me to tell me about his purchase, it was like everything he ever wanted he was so happy and at the end of our phone call , jokingly, I said that bike is going to be the death of you. less than a week later it was. I know that it did not happen because I said that but there is still a very little part of me that does and people who I thought were my friends made me feel it was my fault. It is still so very fresh for you and I know it is going to take awhile but you will see it was not your fault and it happened like that for a reason. Let your children help you They can be with you and be there to help you and you will need alone time, just soak in the tub or go for a walk and while your alone its ok to scream and yell at him and at God to let them know how you feel and how angry you are. I lost my voice for 2 weeks. Like what Cadee said, it is a rollercoaster but you do not have to ride it alone. I hope I was not offensive to you in anyway it is not my intention and I do apologize if I was. You will be in my thoughts and again my very deepest condolences.

[Fall2024inVA]

Karen @KarenD230399  awesome response and sorry about your loss, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[KarenD230399]

Thank you Nicole. Very appreciated on both accounts.

[mc6844]

So very sorry for your loss, Karen. Take care.

[Cadee2719]

 I am so sorry for your loss.  Now begins the journey of healing and a roller coaster of emotions.    Be kind to yourself.  Take one day at a time.  The people on this site truly were there for me and are helping me every day.  You need to process this loss and find a way to get through each day.  I will be honest.....it is not easy BUT you will find the strength to do it.  I lost my son, husband and brother within 6 months; I did not care if I lived or died, but I knew my remaining son needed me.  I fought the sadness every day and shared my emotions with my friends on this site and gradually became stronger.  Once I was able to focus, I read books on grief recovery and listened to audiotapes.  If there is a Grief Group in your area, see if this would be a comfort to you.  I found that I had to be alone and was unable to attend group sessions.  We are all different.  It takes time, do what is most comfortable for you and Take One Step At a Time.  I will keep you in my prayers.  ❤️

[mc6844]

Very good suggestions Cadee. Kind, caring and informative. I'm so sorry for your losses, too. So much to go through

[Nadja7]

So sorry for your loss.  I would be devastated as well.  My heart aches for you when i read this.  A big hug to you and rely on your boys to help with your grief.