👍 Encouragement!!!

[SpringIsHereVA]

Stop by when you can to encourage others or ask for some.

WE all have days/nights when we need this!!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SpringIsHereVA]

Hi Angel @coolslick , we are alot ALIKE - your PM to me was like my TWIN was talking.

Try to be YOUR BEST self, cry when needed and on those days you MISS your loved ones - miss them. With time as WE ALLOW ourselves to BE US, our days and nights will GET BETTER I PROMISE.

This AARP Grief & Loss Forum is my DAILY place to come to. Yes, not everyone has been on my Like List, but with time they have made their exit ALLOWING me to ENJOY the folks who CARE.

I am here EVERY DAY Angel.

Luv you SO MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** ANGEL @coolslick wrote:

Thank you..I am in a very bad frame of mind right now..I need to eat , I am a diabetic , and go out..and I cannot pull myself together...I saw something that went into my heart concerning my ex husband and children's father whom I loved and he loved me back for 55 years..we lost a daugher and the day he passed I lost my last part of her...everytime I see something that reminds me of our 4 year dating years it tears my heart to pieces...it's been almost a year and I cannot get through it...I did remarry but we never lost contact...after my second husband [assed 13 years ago , we rebuilt our relationship, friendship, never moved back in together but the bond and closeness was there...I took care of him the best he would allow me at the end of his life...he was a very I'll Nam vet... ***]

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[coolslick]

Good morning Nicole,

Thank you..so much for answering me..I am still having a horrible time navigating this site..I have asked for help, haven't gotten it yet..Unless someone writes to me I can't find this page or the page about pen pals..

Since I suffer from multiple traumatic losses I have been in counseling and grief groups off and on for years...this is different...It's not quite a year, but almost...I am trying so hard to get through the hard days. I feel like as I'm missing him and crying that my heart is being torn to shreds...I sob ..at times have an appt and can't get out the door..I think if I can accept it and accept that I have suffered enough losses that maybe I've had it...very little strength left..older , a few health quirks...exhaustion don't help..I need to accept it and let myself feel it and remember it is normal...and will get better..but I lose it...You are my only friend right now and I appreciate you , and am grateful for you...

Luv you back...sending you peace in your heart....🤗

[SpringIsHereVA]

Good Morning Angel @coolslick . The Penpal Thing has zero to do with me so have no idea how safe it is. I was only trying to help @OldMarriedMan get it up and running. I have since deleted my posts as nothing from him. Please BE CAREFUL ON THIS SITE. Lol, have had various Drama Kings and Queens target me but the AARP Moderators are AWESOME with intervening as needed. You, the Grief & Loss Team (some of them), my daughter and folks I meet at Walmart have ADDED to my life. I am a hermit like you and I ONLY venture out AS NEEDED. Been through TOO MUCH with humans, I NOW TAKE MY TIME with them. As far as doing the daily things - I have my moments of doing them and NOT. I accept the emotions I have NOW and TRUST with TIME I will figure out MORE stuff. My only child was laid off 4/11/24 and just got back from my Mechanic. Lol, TWO things that are a CHALLENGE RIGHT NOW. So this OLD lady is heading for her Old Lady Nap. Time to re-balance and then DECIDE THE REST OF MY DAY.

Luv you SO MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** ANGEL @coolslick wrote:

Good morning Nicole,

Thank you..so much for answering me..I am still having a horrible time navigating this site..I have asked for help, haven't gotten it yet..Unless someone writes to me I can't find this page or the page about pen pals..

Since I suffer from multiple traumatic losses I have been in counseling and grief groups off and on for years...this is different...It's not quite a year, but almost...I am trying so hard to get through the hard days. I feel like as I'm missing him and crying that my heart is being torn to shreds...I sob ..at times have an appt and can't get out the door..I think if I can accept it and accept that I have suffered enough losses that maybe I've had it...very little strength left..older , a few health quirks...exhaustion don't help..I need to accept it and let myself feel it and remember it is normal...and will get better..but I lose it...You are my only friend right now and I appreciate you , and am grateful for you...

Luv you back...sending you peace in your heart....🤗  ***]

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[coolslick]

🤗You're not kidding it's like talking to your twin...God bless..I feel like sisters..Got it about the pen pal thing , there is no movement on it..having been on a pen pal site before , I was talking to a woman who I thought was a man..nice conversations..never out of line but a scammer all the same...Oh Lord! I don't need drama kings and queens...no one has contacted me and I am just fine with it being you and I..I am exactly the same..I had 3 daughters...lost my middle one 27 years ago at 21..so I have 2 daughters I talk to and would like to not bring my grief to them..they hurt too..I have wonderful conversations with everyone in Walmart. And Now thank God I have you...I am looking into a grief group that has 2 meetings a week, I talked to the Social worker this morning for about an hour...she said I have what's called Stacked Grief..Oh Boy!! do I get that "Old Lady Nap" and love every minute of it...will catch up tomorrow...enjoy the rest of your day...✌️xo

[SpringIsHereVA]

Hi @OldMarriedMan , you have been SUCCESSFUL with starting your own Chat  Thread in the AARP Introduce Yourself Forum.

▶️*** VIRTUAL PENPALS (this is your spot to chat, 3 people have been kind and responded to you here).

▶️*** LINK TO YOUR CHAT IS BELOW:

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Introduce-Yourself/Virtual-Pen-Pals/m-p/2556463#M11543

[1] Lee @LeeS4949  and @wilful  had RESPONDED to you. A new member also responded to you.

[2] Suggestion and NO PRESSURE to listen to me:

Why not POST a THANK YOU to them for responding to your post. Lee ALWAYS welcomes NEW folks, a very nice guy and open to PMs from folks on site. Wilful has told you he/she is INTERESTED and shared his/her info with you. Jumping all over the site and posting the same request, in my opinion is not the way to go. The NEW person is open to supporting you.

*** When OTHER people SEE you thanking these 3 people and chatting with them = MORE PEOPLE will stop by to CHAT with you!!! ***

Good luck,

Nicole  👵

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[*** @OldMarriedMan wrote:

Hello Nicole,

Thanks for your post. We can all use some words of encouragement from time to time. 🙂

Is this a chat somewhere else?

DAILY CHATS AND DISCUSSIONS ABOUT LIFE

I want to start a virtual pen pals group and I'm looking for a forum to call home... ***]

[OldMarriedMan]

Hello Nicole, thanks for your advice. I had responded to @wilful via PM and had not heard back yet. I have some questions about the site. Like how did you get the tag line "Esteemed Social Butterfly"? I like it. 

Warm regards,

Milt

[OldMarriedMan]

Hello Nicole,

Thanks for your post. We can all use some words of encouragement from time to time. 🙂

Is this a chat somewhere else?

DAILY CHATS AND DISCUSSIONS ABOUT LIFE

I want to start a virtual pen pals group and I'm looking for a forum to call home...

[SpringIsHereVA]

@Ellabillie , I hope you will stop by AGAIN! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** @Ellabillie wrote:

Good evening 

My husband Ron passed away 9/13/2023 and I need to get into a group that will help me through this. Or I may have a nervous break down. ***]

[mc6844]

I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear husband Ron. Please stop in at the forum when you can. It will give you insights and ideas. And help to lighten your grief.

[SpringIsHereVA]

@CarolD435501 , I hope you will stop by AGAIN! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** CAROL @CarolD435501 wrote:

It is so hard,,,,,lost my husband of 32 years April 15th 2023....some days I seem to go forward,,,and then I fall back more days then I gained.....How long do I have to feel this,,,,no one knows,,,,but talking the others may help.../. ***]

[mc6844]

Carol, so glad you stopped by. This forum and the good people here can offer encouragement and hope. Each time you stop by it helps to lighten your grief. Take it easy, and take care! I know it's not easy.

[SpringIsHereVA]

Cadee @Cadee2719 , YOU are in my thoughts TODAY! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

Hi Nicole.  Still unpacking 🤪  Met a neighbor, so friendly.  She invited me to the 4th of July block party.  This was the right decision for me.  How is your daughter doing?  How are YOU doing?  I don't have my computer hooked up yet so I apologize as I am using my phone and it is harder to use.

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@SpringIsHereVA wrote:

(4/24/24) Cadee @Cadee2719 , YOU are in my thoughts TODAY! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[SpringIsHereVA]

“Never. WE never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. WE are merely in different rooms.”

~~Paulo Coehlo

[KimberlyM389662]

Nicole,  I am trying to have faith but, I am having a really hard time. My disability has been denied for a second time. I contacted another lawyer because,  mine point blank s**ks. The only contact is initiated by me and I am tired of it. It's been 3 years and nothing. I told my BFF that I am either ready for the looney bin or death, whichever comes first. I am just struggling very badly. I don't know what else to do. I can't take care of my house, myself and feel like I am a crappy Mom for my son.I have no money,  bank account is in the red and have no way to pay for anything. On top of all that, my Mom was diagnosed with mild dementia and I am all she has because my brother is being a douchebag and is looking for homes in Florida.  He is not speaking to us because I finally after years told his wife off and how I feel about her. Also he is trying to say that I am committing elder abuse because Mom has been helping me pay bills. Then my daughter said that she would have to testify against me and then I would lose my son to the state because she couldn't "take him right now. Maybe in a few years." This is her BROTHER and she doesn't want him. Like I really need this right now. I also had eye surgery on Friday to have benign tumors removed  I just don't know what to do. 

[SpringIsHereVA]

Yikes  @Cadee2719   😱😱😱  and SO SORRY this is happening  😭  HANG IN THERE STRONG LADY. As we always say 👣 (1 step). As we AGE, we will be "chauffered" around/lol. Try to do what you can. Please keep us updated when you can  🤗

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[***  CADEE @Cadee2719 wrote:

 I need some "encouragement"!  Took my car in on the 17th.  Needs a new gas tank.  I was smelling gas.  They could not find the leak.   Ordered a new tank on the 18th.  They called me on the 20th. - BACKORDERED!!!!!!  I told them I have doctor appointments next week and they CANNOT keep my car for a week and not fix it.   S T I L L    W A I T I N G...........  ***]

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[Cadee2719]

Just got my car back.  Hoping they really fixed it!  We shall see.  One more Step Forward. 

[Sea2Summit]

I'm glad it finally worked out in the end...

[Cadee2719]

  The saga continues........ They got the gas tank.  While removing the old one they broke the clip holding the tank (the car is old) and had to order one from CHICAGO!!  They have had my car a week and I am still waiting for the repairs to be done and this is a dealership doing the repair!!!!!  I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I am promised that if my car is not done, they will  have someone take me to the doctors.???  I have been very patient but this is getting ridiculous.   I cannot wait to get out of this state.

[Cadee2719]

 I need some "encouragement"!  Took my car in on the 17th.  Needs a new gas tank.  I was smelling gas.  They could not find the leak.   Ordered a new tank on the 18th.  They called me on the 20th. - BACKORDERED!!!!!!  I told them I have doctor appointments next week and they CANNOT keep my car for a week and not fix it.   S T I L L    W A I T I N G...........

[mc6844]

I don't know what I'm sharing has to do with grieving or will help anyone. But I find myself painting my kitchen. Clearing stuff out. No idea where I got the energy to do this. I guess people keep going even when they think they can't. It's a very small kitchen area, which is good. Don't ask me how I get involved in these things lol

[Cadee2719]

  You are accomplishing things to be done!  Doing things that you may have not had the time to do before.  Occupying your mind and keeping busy.  I will be painting my small bathroom.  😁  My preparing  to sell my home is keeping me busy and keeps my mind focused on the tasks. It makes my day go quicker.  Just pace yourself so as to not affect your health.  (That is what my brother says to me all the time.)  Take Care ❤️

[mc6844]

Thank you Cadee

[mc6844]

I'm glad things worked out for you Cadee!

[SpringIsHereVA]

@Cadee2719 you are welcome and YOUR POST touched my INSIDES  🤗

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[*** CADEE @Cadee2719 wrote:

 I read the article by Marina Walker as it was similar to my experience.   I feel that caring for your loved one in hospice care at home is a double edge sword.  He is there with you 24/7 allowing you the opportunity to love and care for him and to show him how much you truly care.  Yet, you are watching him slowly die and suffer more and more each day.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I would not allow him to go to a facility to be cared for by strangers.  I felt that I had spent 61 years with him and I would be with him during his final hours of life.  Many times we would just sit and talk and hold hands and sometimes laugh about silly things or play country music that he would sing along with.  Those are the memories that I try to focus on. Everyone is different, each situation is different and there is no right or wrong.  We each do what we feel is right for us.  Death is final, suffering is hard to watch, loss of a loved one hurts, grief is a part of us that ebbs and flows and we continue to move forward taking One Step at a Time.  Thank You Nicole for bringing this article to us.  ❤️  ***]

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[mc6844]

Cadee I'm so sorry for your loss and for your suffering, and that of your husband. It is all hard.

[SpringIsHereVA]

📋  ARTICLE NAME : Stories of Grief & Joy — Forced Joy Project!

📋  FROM SITE:  Let’s stop hiding behind our painful stories. Let’s start sharing our stories to connect. Let’s start sharing our stories to feel less alone on this planet. Let’s start sharing our stories to help each other out. Below are the personal stories of those who have been through it. From the loss of a parent, to death of a child, to a cancer diagnosis, and everything in between.

▶️*** YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR STORY TOO ***◀️

[Article Link below]

https://www.forcedjoyproject.com/stories-of-grief

[Cadee2719]

 I read the article by Marina Walker as it was similar to my experience.   I feel that caring for your loved one in hospice care at home is a double edge sword.  He is there with you 24/7 allowing you the opportunity to love and care for him and to show him how much you truly care.  Yet, you are watching him slowly die and suffer more and more each day.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I would not allow him to go to a facility to be cared for by strangers.  I felt that I had spent 61 years with him and I would be with him during his final hours of life.  Many times we would just sit and talk and hold hands and sometimes laugh about silly things or play country music that he would sing along with.  Those are the memories that I try to focus on. Everyone is different, each situation is different and there is no right or wrong.  We each do what we feel is right for us.  Death is final, suffering is hard to watch, loss of a loved one hurts, grief is a part of us that ebbs and flows and we continue to move forward taking One Step at a Time.  Thank You Nicole for bringing this article to us.  ❤️

[jonibee]

My husband was in and out of nursing homes under the guise of physical therapy ..He wanted to spend his final days at home and i made dam sure this was done if only for the 3months and seven days as he was on hospice..This is the best decision I ever made in his interest..Yes it was hard and draining on me but I don't have any regrets..We were married 63 years ..Our adult children and grandchildren/great grandchildren got the chance to visit with him before he passed..He was so happy to have them visit...We all miss him terribly but have happy memories of what was...