Doing the Work of Two+

SueS788527 · ‎11-09-2023

Now in my third year after the loss of my loved one, I am finding myself busier than ever. I thought I had climbed the mountain and reached the top. No, I am still climbing. Why? Because the expression doing the work of two does not capture the essence of the situation. You are most likely doing the work of two+. What does that mean? Putting a degree of difficulty on this (term often used in competitive sports), I would say most of us are operating with a high degree of difficulty. We are in a learning mode to “master” what our deceased loved one did seamlessly, automatically, and sometimes with passion. Examples include car maintenance, home projects, cooking, etc. Those of us who are survivors however do not welcome these additional tasks, much less view them with any passion! We have found that it is necessary to adjust our way of thinking while we are also grieving. Not easy. Also, we are doing new tasks that arise and come in often unexpectedly. We are doing them and probably well given the high degree of difficulty. Take it a day at a time, prioritize what needs to be done today. Get help. Do not set unrealistic expectations of yourself, like becoming a master carpenter or gourmet chef. Aim for what is realistic. That is not only ok but necessary for your mental and physical health. You are doing the best you can. Give yourself permission to take time to relax and smell the roses. Your friend, Sue 🌺🌹