Death of son lost visitation with grandchildren

[rafaler1031]

Since my son has died, I have had to go into the hospital for a medication evaluation. Based on this which took place a year-and-a-half ago my daughter-in-law will not let me visit my granddaughter alone. I always have to have somebody with me. It has now progressed to where it has become impossible to visit my grandchild. Losing my son and I losing my granddaughter has just been too much!

[grumpyoldman9949]

I'm so sorry you are having so much difficulties with your daughter-in-law. We lost our son six years ago.I still miss him. I don't think you ever really recover from that kind of loss. I have learned to live with the pain. Our son Joey, was special needs. He had autism and other disabilities.Joey was our miracle baby. I was told I'd never have children. After 15 years we became pregnant and had him. I was 36 and my husband was 47. People thought we were his grandparents.We cherished every day we had with him. It was challenging to care for him physically. We prayed and just took life a day at a time. 

People grieve in different ways. Perhaps your daughter-in-law is trying to cope with her loss. It is unfair to you. Have you tried asking her why she wants someone supervising your visits? Maybe you have a mis communication. Maybe you could ask her what her concerns are. I had to have someone to stay with my Mom when she spent time with Joey. She had several mini stokes and heart problems.Because of her health problems I just couldn't leave Joe with her without another adult with her. If she had another stroke or heart attack while caring for him, would have been disastrous for her and Joe. 

Perhaps your daughter-in-law is not informed about your medications. She may think your grandchild might get into your medications. Have you talked to a Minister or Councilor? They may be able to help you. I have several problems with my spine.I joined an online support group. It helped to talk. No one really understands how devastating the loss of your child is, unless they experience the same kind of loss. 

Your Grandchild may be having difficulties coping with the loss of her Dad. I was an adult when my Dad passed and it was heart breaking. I can only imagine how hard your son's death was for your granddaughter. Maybe you could talk to your granddaughter on the phone or Skype. It wouldn't be the same as spending time with her but perhaps it would help you have contact and your daughter-in-law can see that you are not a danger to your granddaughter. I will pray for you and hope your situation improves. If you ever need to vent or just chat please contact me. Because of my back pain, I may be a few days answering but I will respond.Mona