I am very sorry for your loss, Anne, and all the feeling that are associated with your loss. I remember the situation, all too well even though it has bee 12 years since my husband died. It is not easy.
Some days you just have to put one foot in front of the other and carry on even when you don't feel like it.
I kept a journal and at (10) years out, I burned it. If anybody had ever read it, they would have thought me mad - which I was at the time.
Time does help, inch at a time.
I also went to a Grief Group but sometimes it was just me and the Priest conducting the group. Other came and went as time went by.
i stayed close to others and I was also taking care of my Mom and that filled up a lot of (just) time and mind.
i cleaned too - music blaring, crying all the while. Had to do something during all those sleepless nights.
So try to fill up your time and when you think of him, think of the fun times, not the sick times. Those memories are yours to keep close to your heart.
Feel free to come here and post. Or someplace else - you are not alone but each person has to walk their own path through grief -
Life is but a journey of days - cherish the time we can share this journey with another for some length of time.
