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🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

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***A place to share and support***

 

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

 

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 Morning Nicole.  FINALLY got an appointment with a rheumatologist; November 6th!  Now I will attempt to get an appointment with a cardiologist and a family doctor.  How is your daughter doing?  I am getting close to completing my house.  I have about four boxes of "stuff" I should have never brought with me, so I am taking them to a boy's charity here.  My son completed clearance and got the job he wanted.  He seems to be settling in here.  My grandson promised to come and stay with me for Thanksgiving.  I have made several new friends here, but must admit there are days that I still cry and miss my son and husband.  I hope I will learn to cope better, but I wonder if I will.  One thing I love about Idaho is that it could be 10 o'clock and still daylight out!!!!  It amazes me.  I often discover that it is 8 or 9 o'clock and I have not eaten dinner yet.  My son asked me:  "Mom how do you feel being out at a store at 8 at night?" and I said I feel safe.  The only person that approaches me here is one asking "Mam, do you want this cart" or "Can I help you put those bags in your car."  As I said, I think I died and went to heaven. I wish the same for both you and Allen.

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Well Cadee @Cadee2719 , I'm sorry your appointment with the rheumatologist is so far in the future, but it seems that is the case with specialist appointments these days. That is great that you made the decision to donate boxes of stuff you discovered that you didn't need. Someone will make use of them and you won't have to worry about unpacking them or deciding where the stuff could possibly fit! More good news about your son finding a job. It's also great that you are surrounded by new friends and polite people who are willing to help. I hope your new surroundings will bring you joy and help to reduce the number of tearful days.

 

Marcy

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1 comment [1] Allen @Therapist4u , I am now heading to get all caught up on giving you the "kudos" you DESERVE!!!  Luv you my forever friend.

 

[2] MC @mc6844 , I am thinking of YOU!!! Luv you TOO.

 

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

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thanks Nicole

3.jpg

 

As always, ...Stay safe....&...Take care!

☮️  🌩 🌦 ~Allen 🌈    🌞

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(1 comment) Marcy @MarcyW882921 , I just replied to your PM. Luv you SO MUCH, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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❤️🤗

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👋  (1 comment) Good Morning Everyone!!!

 

How are you guys doing?  🤔

 

Well I COULD NOT LOG IN since last Saturday, called IT - they escalated, NEVER got a call back and had GIVEN UP. By the looks of the site TODAY = other folks seem to have had SAME ISSUE.  🙄🙄🙄

 

*** The regulars were NOT posting all week, now posting like I am today ***

 

Lol, and NOT funny - welcome back ALL.  💃💃💃

 

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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WELCOME BACK NICOLE ❤️

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👋  (13 comments) Good morning everyone!!!

 

How are you guys doing?  🤔

 

Hmmm, Mother Nature THREW some Winter my way LAST NIGHT here in Cave Spring, Virginia. Had to dig out my Thermals from laundry I had packed to wash THIS WEEK.  😱😱😱

 

It is about 6:30am ET for me, 46 degrees with a HIGH of 77.  💃💃💃

 

Fine with me as I had thought the dreaded SUMMER with all the heat/humidity had arrived. Luv SPRING AND FALL. They can keep Summer and Winter. Well, let me say - some Winters here are okay [not much snow or ice].

 

Lol, got BRAVE last night and sent my daughter a TEXT "asking" IF she had any job responses and/or interviews. Stay tuned for more = IF she "responds".  🙄🙄🙄

 

Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY.

 

Luv,you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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  Hoping all is well with you.  Take all the time you need to relax and rest.  This site has come to a standstill without you, but it is more important to us that you are well.  Nicole, I credit YOU for bringing me to a place of peace and contentment after suffering through the most painful time in my life:  losing my husband, son and brother within months.  You gave me the strength to wake up each day and "take one step at a time", you referred books that I could read, you gave me sessions from AARP to attend and listen to.   You made it possible to talk to several friends on this site that were experiencing the same loss and sadness.   Without YOU I would not be where I am  today.  For an individual, such as yourself, to devote the time and energy that you do to this site is amazing and truly appreciated.  Just remember:  WE ARE HERE FOR YOU   We THANK YOU for all that you do.  Luv you ❤️

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  Hi Nicole.  I, too sent my son a text asking how the clearance process is going.........crickets.  Is it us?   I am getting closer to getting rid of all the boxes; yet I have many, many boxes with the tools (i.e. grinders, huge electric saws, etc.) that he has not taken to his place yet.  Got my drivers's license and license plates.  I am an official Idahoan??  Today I am having my realtor and her husband who have been so kind and helpful come for dinner.  I am making beef stroganoff.  Wish my friends on this site lived close so I could have you all for dinner.  My neighbor just had a baby boy so I am going to make some lasagna for them.  I am getting back to being myself.  I go where I want to go with no fear.  My neighbors in CA still keep in touch and tell me things are getting worse there.  Still trying to connect with doctors here.  It is a long drawn out process.  They want records FAXED to them, not brought in by me, and a referral.  Crazy, I move to a new state, have insurance (which they take) and yet it is taking me weeks to get an appointment.  I am thankful that my doctors in CA are continuing the prescriptions until I get my new doctors.  Nicole I hope things improve at your place and you get some peace.  Perhaps you should begin to look around for a new place to consider.  Check it out during the day and night, talk to the neighbors to see what type of neighborhood it is, check the crime rate of the area, the surrounding parks, stores, etc.  Be safe.  Luv you!  ❤️  Once you find a place that you love and that is safe, you can relax and enjoy life.  

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Wow Cadee @Cadee2719! You are cooking and socializing like crazy! I do wish we could be there to join you. It just makes me feel so good that you are relaxed and strong enough to do these things and enjoy them.

 

Marcy

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Hi Marcy @MarcyW882921

That was nice of you to say to Cadee...& to be positive & encouraging!

And You.... are also inspirational to me....how you’ve persisted thru the not-so-bright days, & the uncertainties & unknowns! But being perseverant & determined to plow thru all of that & find yourself on the other side of most of it, while accepting that some of the pain & heartache never goes away 100%, ....

>>>>yet we must continue to live the best lives we can...for ourselves, & for those who matter the most to us!

 

That said....I haven’t heard from Nicole.... & she hasn’t posted since June 1st, so if she doesn’t ‘materialize’ here by tomorrow, I may try to email her to make sure she’s OK!

Anyway.... Stay safe....&...Take care!

☮️  ~Allen 🌈 

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Thank you so much Allen @Therapist4u for your kind words. If I can say or do something to make someone's day better, then I feel happier and more fulfilled. It has taken time to wade through the muck of grief feeling at times that it was quicksand trying to devour me. I have emerged as a stronger person who is grateful for the gift of life and I'm seeking to make the best of whatever time I have on this earth.

 

Marcy

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Hi Marcy! @MarcyW882921

.... “If I can say or do something to make someone's day better, then I feel happier and more fulfilled” That is exactly how I feel! And as you, Nicole, & others at different forums I am active in...know that one way I do so is to try to interject a bit of humor when I can!...while addressing serious stuff seriously!

But we all also deserve a bit of a break.... & try to ease up.... & relax if we can!

 

Also I luv how....despite all you’ve been thru...it has not defeated you!!...in fact...as you say: “I have emerged as a stronger person who is grateful for the gift of life”....& also that “I'm seeking to make the best of whatever time I have on this earth”

Agree...& have to say an “AMEN”!!!  🙏

 

BTW: I just sent Nicole a PM

with a subject line: R U OK

 

And added: YOUR LAST POST WAS JUNE 1.....

JUST WANNNA KNOW IF U R OK

Cadee AND Marcy HAVE EXPRESSED CONCERNS TOO

 

As always, ...Stay safe....&...Take care!

 

☮️  🌩 🌦 ~Allen 🌈    🌞

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 I am REALLY worried about Nicole.  I tried to message her and am unable to do so.  The site has come to a standstill without her.  I am not sure what to do next?????  I just want to know that she is ok.

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Joining Cadee @Cadee2719 in her worry over the disappearing Nicole. Please know we are thinking of you (Nicole) and totally understand that maybe this is a time when you need to step back for whatever reason. We are hoping and praying that you (Nicole) are ok and will return when you are able. We are here for you if you want to reach out to us.

 

Marcy

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  I, too have been concerned about Nicole.  Praying everything is ok.

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Hi @Cadee2719 I’m making my 2nd post....replying to what you just wrote today:

I have had pain specialists I see every month, a PCP, & other Docs, ...but the one who made the most difference in my life...& crucially to keeping me mobile, is my Orthopedic Surgeon, who I was so grateful for & I’ve had for 5 years!

Cut to the chase: He suddenly closed his office in February with barely enough time to finish ongoing treatments....(he had referrals...but...not one took my insurance!!...so I’ve been trying to find another one ever since Feb!) His sudden departure meant leaving other important procedures that were already lined up with no one to continue them or to help *(for 3 months) ......like a 4th epidural in my back...& getting a prior approval on a significant medicine that is injected directly into my knees....a series of 5 shots, once a week for 5 weeks, up to twice a year...it’s called ‘Supartz’...a gel that lubricates my knee joints so well for me that I can move almost normal & go up & down stairs *(as in my 2 floor condo) with so much less struggle & pain!

 

I too had to straighten out any insurance details....& then actually had to pick up & hand deliver 150 pages of my medical records from the pain specialists...to the Orthos....delaying any treatments...because one side kept saying the other wasn’t sending stuff correctly.....whatever!!

So it took all those unnecessary steps before I could restart treatments! Finally,...I just saw my 1st of 3 new Ortho Surgeon specialists.... (one specializes in the spine & back, one for the hand... & one for the knees & hips &....) (& other specialists that are trying to keep me in 1 piece LOL!)

And the irony....is that my Orthopedic Surgeon...get this >>>>>just moved to Idaho!!!

Anyway.....You’re an inspiration for all you’ve gone thru...to what you made happen ....to where you are today!

 Nicole & I are going to have to continue down what ever long roads ahead we must face...to end up in a secure, peaceful place like you have!

 

I know there’s plenty of room in Idaho...LOL!

 

Anyway...take care! ~Allen

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  I was in the process of replying to you and it all DISAPPEARED!!!!!

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Hi! that's OK @Cadee2719 ...if you want to... you can re-try... at your convenience. I'd like to read it!

 

BTW: I learned the hard way...especially on longer posts...it can DISAPPEAR & never show up...so what I do, is write most, if not all of it...1st in a WORD Doc...& then copy/paste when it's done!

TTYL ~Allen

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Hi @Cadee2719 I’m making 2 posts...one is from a previous reply to your post  on 05-13-2024 10:06 AM

that I’m not sure you saw, & it relates to what you mentioned today, so here it is:

 

 Thank You for thinking of me on Mothers Day and for your support.  It means a lot to me.

 

My reply:

from 05-16-2024 07:19 PM

 

Hi @Cadee2719 You’re very welcome!

While my time on this AARP site is very limited, I wanted to let you know I appreciate much of what you have written over time.

 

In particular, when you said about: “I am sad that my beautiful neighborhood in California became a haven for the homeless, crime and fear”

 That has also happened to where I’ve lived in my present home...the 1st one I bought, decades ago.

All the good friends I’ve had have either moved... or passed on! The condos changed from mostly owner-occupied who were actively engaged in fixing issues & improving it, ... to mostly renters who don’t care about anything ...not to be helpful, or trying to be friendly, or civil or respectful!

 

 But also the part where you mentioned that:

“I feel safe, I am in a community of kind and helpful people, love my new home,  am able to go any where I want and not be afraid”....

is encouraging ....& I’ve been on a slow path (takes so much time...especially finding the right contractors...& BEAUCOUPS of money.... as you know...LOL) to remodeling ....in order to sell,... & move to a similar situation as you have! 🙂

 

IMHO: you definitely earned that...

by your hard work.... & persistence!

Take care ~Allen

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(2 comments) How are you guys doing?  🤔

 

Well it is that time again = Out Of Food Run To Walmart. Hope I run into Dalinda to hear about her Camping Trip.

 

Angel @coolslick , I hope you will stop by AGAIN when you "feel" up to it. WE LUV HEARING FROM YOU.  💃💃💃

 

Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY!!!

 

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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More Walmart memes LOL!

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OIP (2).jpg

 😃

 

 

 

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Walmart memes LOL!

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😀

 

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👋  (1 comment) HAPPY Sunday!!!

 

How are you guys doing?

 

Quiet day for me.

 

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , anymore traveling? As Cadee @Cadee2719 said, you are an INSPIRATION!!!

 

Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY.

 

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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 Happy Sunday  Yesterday was such a good day.  The young woman and her husband spent the day with me and we reminisced about being at the University and the people we knew.  Amazingly enough she shared the GOOD NEWS that she found the family that she NEVER knew she had!!  She was adopted.  Her daughter-in-law, as a gift gave her the ancestry search and lo and behold she discovered that she had 6 other siblings.  She is meeting one of them today and the others at a later date.  The happiness on her face made my day.  They promised to come and visit every time they were here.  At this stage of my life I have come to enjoy the simple things of life.  I put a bird feeder in my backyard and am amazed at the different birds that I am discovering here.  One of my little friends asked me how old I was.  His buddy said "I know, you are 36"  I told him that I loved him to bits.  I said "No, I am 80" and he responded with that is a BIG NUMBER!!!!!!  I don't know anyone that old."  🤣  They come by often, knock on my door and want to "chat".  They make me smile.  Life is simple, Life is safe, Life is good.  I am wishing that for all of my friends on this site.  The world is such a mess; so take the time to find solace in your day, comfort in your life and peace.  Luv you ❤️

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(3 comments) Oh my goodness Cadee @Cadee2719 , my daughter is trying to send me to an early grave. Laughing NOW, but girl - had a few hours of WORRY. My Diva decided not to check in today and so yours truly texted. No response. Called, left a voicemail. Then kept calling and texting. FINALLY she texts saying she had a ROUGH night. Lol, so I text back that I didnot appreciate all the worry and TRYING to hold off on calling the cops for a Wellness Check. I was going crazy. Anyway, she replies totally hurt that I didnot ask about her ROUGH night. Now keep in mind ever since her 4/11/24 Layoff, she has shutdown = does not want any questions. I need to go to Parenting School I guess/lol  💃💃💃  Can't seem to get it right!!!  🙄🙄🙄  So I am in her Dog House...

 

Hmmm, did your Son find anything?  🤔

 

Also, got your Medical Stuff set up?  🤔

 

Luv you SO MUCH Ms. Idaho,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT , 

 

I read this question recently and I don't remember where I read it or who said it or I would give them credit. The question you can ask a loved one, friend, acquaintance, etc. is..."Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?" I think using and/or rather than or alone works a little better, but I think the question is a great start to finding out how you can possibly stay "out of the doghouse."

 

Marcy

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  Morning "Esteemed Social Butterfly"  😁  a title you deserve.  I give up.  We can't win with our kids.  I just sit back and answer when asked.  If I do ask, I get no answer; if I don't ask he says I am not interested?????   He is still going through the "clearing process".  I guess that is all that I am permitted to know.   YOU, my dear are lucky.  The most I ever won on a ticket was $2.00 and that is few and far in between.  My husband was the lucky one in the family.    The weather here so far is beautiful.  They say Rain, so it rains for five minutes and then the sun comes out!      Yes, I have begun the research and calls to find doctors.  Like everything else, it takes time.  Today I am getting a visit from a young lady and her husband.   She worked for me when she was a student at the University.   Can't wait to see them.  His sister lives nearby and they came from Texas to visit and discovered that I live nearby.  Small world.   I am so happy for Marcy and her team.  She is an amazing young woman and her activities exhaust me.  😂  I have never seen anyone with the energy and ambition that she has.  I am so proud of her.   I think I have "hit the wall" and am pacing myself a lot more right now.  I have felt that I was on a treadmill running as fast as I could and now I am just slowing down, taking my time and pacing myself.  I have met more neighbors and they are so friendly and kind.  My neighbors from CA keep me informed and tell me that the new owner is converting my detached garage into an apartment.  He ripped out a large portion of the stone driveway to lay a pipe to the street.  What they are doing in California is building separate small homes on their property to rent out.  So glad to be 

FROM California and do not miss one thing about it.  Wishing everyone a safe Memorial Day.  It is good to remember the men and women that fought for the freedom of the BEST COUNTRY in the world - America.

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