2 Huge losses is less than 2 years

[TrinaH466204]

To say I am struggling is an understatement.  16 months ago we lost one of our sons after an extended illness.  Last month I lost the one person who saw me thru the devestating loss of our son - my husband.  I am reeling - trying to understand why God has asked my family to endure yet another major loss.  My husband's loss was quick, unexpected, and devestating.  I am seeing a counselor weekly which helps.  I'm 61 years old and the thought of going through 20=30 years alone is just overwhelming.  My children and grandchildren are being amazing, however, I don't want their lives to stop worrying about me.  I appreciate your kindness in replying.

[PatriceN279835]

I am so sorry for your losses.

In 2018, I lost my husband in January, my mother-in-law in June, and my father in July. I did have grief counseling for a few sessions. I will be honest and say that I still have not grieved my husband as of yet. We were married 45 years and I lost my best friend and soulmate. I am just putting one foot in front of the other each day. Some days are good, some are not so good.

There is no set time to grieving; we all need to grieve in our own way and in our own time.

I wish you the best through your journey.

[CarolineS366413]

Trina- you are not alone. I lost a 21 year old son 2 years ago and then my husband in January, both to suicide. I am reeling as well- life doesn't always make sense. I'm glad I am here to support and enjoy my other two children. I try to focus on the joy in each day. You never get over losing loved ones, but you can look to a positive future.I am in my early fifties and hopefully I still have a long life ahead of me. I find support groups and therapy to be helpful.

[j824096l]

It's really good that you have regular counseling. Is there a grief therapy group (likely through Hospice)? I found the other grief group people helped me more through their sharing than anything the facilitator said. 
my husband died suddenly 5 years ago. He was 68. I'm just turning 68 in June. Like you I can't imagine not having him with me for all these years to come. 

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost a son, also. It is so wrong for a child to die before their parents. I can only imagine that one of a kind pain. And the death of your husband surely touched off all that pain, too. 

I don't believe that God had anything to do with the death of our loved ones except to walk with us afterwards so that we won't be alone. I think God and the angels cry with us even though they are able to see the wider perspective of lives and the world. They feel our pain. 

I hope you are able to feel that love feeling through your grief. You are never completely alone. I think your loved ones are nearby even though they are on the Other Side. They are close to you; checking in.