🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[iLuvAutumn]

🤗🤗🤗  THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

▶️*** Grief Team Member Cadee said this. ***◀️

SHARING thoughts on caring for oneself, making doctor appointments (and the difficulty in doing so), discussing relocating, dealing with finances and life's decisions are all important issues to discuss. These are all a part of being alone and having to make big decisions for ourselves (perhaps for the very first time). Once one "accepts" the reality of being alone, it is difficult to have to make these decisions for ourselves ALONE. Hearing how others do it and have done it has been extremely helpful to me. Accepting the loss is NOT the end of this journey. Listening to tapes and reading books does not always offer the personal touch needed at times. Having someone make us smile and knowing there are people out there that truly do care about you is a gift. THIS GROUP IS DEDICATED TO CADEE @Cadee2719  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

I know for a fact with me "inheriting" Mr.  🐈,  in between the "stress" of ADDED responsibility and expense - I do have to get up to feed him BREAKFAST. Before, I spent WAY TOO MUCH time in bed feeling sorry for myself.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

*** YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU ***

[iLuvAutumn]

MEMBERS HELPING MEMBERS TEAM  🤗🤗🤗

MC @mc6844 , Marcy@MarcyW882921 , Julie @JulieT507376 , Jonibee @jonibee , Cadee @Cadee2719 and myself (Nicole).

[iLuvAutumn]

‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

No rules. No drama. No judgement. Just much needed peace.

[iLuvAutumn]

Julie @JulieT507376 , do you and Sadie  🐕  go for WALKS?

I miss Jeremiah  🐕,  we would be out walking EVERY morning and evening. He was a TINY "mixed" breed. MISS him after years, but like with losing "humans" - I DO NOT well with losing "furbabies"...

Lol, people do WALK their cats. Hmmm, maybe I need to train Mr.  🐈. Nope, Mr. Rebel ain't buying that.  🤣😂

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[JulieT507376]

I live on an acreage where Sadie runs free and hunts for whatever she decides to pounce on!  I think she had a gopher treat in that picture 😬 We walk to the mailbox together and play fetch and frisbee.  Her true love is herding cattle.  That was her job duty for her daddy.  Me…just a lot of cute tricks and cuddles in bed.  Her life has truly changed after her daddy passed away.  Many people assumed I would sale this big place and all the land.  No way!  Sadie needs this place!  As long as I have her I’m staying!

[iLuvAutumn]

Lol, Mr.  🐈  had brought a poor Chipmunk to me Julie @JulieT507376 !!!  😱😱😱

NO MORE GIFTS after I yelled at him. Poor chipmunk.  😭😭😭

It did ESCAPE into my Utility Room and I had to BLOCK it off to help GUIDE it back outside.

Lol, BOTH of us kept SCARING each other. So glad it got out. 💃💃💃

She is a BEAUTY and deserves all her freedom.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JULIE wrote: 📸  Picture Attached  📸

I live on an acreage where Sadie runs free and hunts for whatever she decides to pounce on!  I think she had a gopher treat in that picture 😬 We walk to the mailbox together and play fetch and frisbee.  Her true love is herding cattle.  That was her job duty for her daddy.  Me…just a lot of cute tricks and cuddles in bed.  Her life has truly changed after her daddy passed away.  Many people assumed I would sale this big place and all the land.  No way!  Sadie needs this place!  As long as I have her I’m staying! ***]

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[iLuvAutumn]

📸  Attachment  📸  Lol, I don't know whose MOOD SWINGS are worst - the cat, my daughter or me. Could NOT get any ALONE time ALL OF LAST WEEK. Even could NOT get my DAILY OLD LADY NAP. So TODAY, his a.ss is "outside" napping/grooming and TOTALLY IGNORING me!!!/lol  🤣😂

[Cadee2719]

  Is this a picture of you or your daughter?  BEAUTIFUL

[iLuvAutumn]

SO GOOD to hear from YOU Cadee @Cadee2719 !!! Happy Dance Time.  💃💃💃  Lol, nope - it is a .gif. She has NEVER met Mr.  🐈  and I have NO one to photo me and him together.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** CADEE wrote:

  Is this a picture of you or your daughter?  BEAUTIFUL ***]

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[iLuvAutumn]

SO GOOD to hear from you today Marcy @MarcyW882921 !!! HAPPY DANCE TIME.  💃💃💃

Thanks for making time to "respond" to Julie @JulieT507376 & Jonibee @jonibee .  👍👍👍

Now to HOPE Cadee @Cadee2719 is okay. Sending HEALING for her brother.  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

🗣  Group Discussion: Have you RELOCATED or "thinking" about it? Or STAYING WHERE YOU ARE. Or STAYING in the SAME city, but selling/moving in with family/downsize? Any TIPS to share? Pros & Cons of YOUR MOVE? They say NOT to make any MAJOR decisions immediately.

[iLuvAutumn]

At the moment we have Marcy @MarcyW882921 who stayed and renovated. Cadee @Cadee2719 who relocated to be nearer to family. Jonibee @jonibee who I "think" stayed (correct me IF needed Jonibee). Julie @JulieT507376 is NEW to our group and at the moment is staying. But I do worry about her being "way out" during the ice and snow she mentioned. Lol, then me - TRYING to "wait" it out where I am until my "only" child figures out her life after being laid of ff. Anyway, I would luv to hear from OUR GROUP and OTHER GRIEVERS. Why are you staying or moving? Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

Relocating is a BIG DECISION.  People need to do what is comfortable and possible for them.  I understand staying if surrounded by family and feeling safe and content in your surroundings.  I also understand that financially it is extremely expensive to re-locate.  It is also frightening to relocate to a new environment, hoping that you made the right decision.  Nicole, I think you are making the right decision in waiting to see what your daughter is planning to do.  I also think you should spend this time doing your research into the possibilities of relocating.  The priorities are:  Financial, Medical facilities, Safety, Convenience, Wants & Needs.  I truly hope that you find a place that makes you happy and content.  I find that my move was a "MIRACLE" as it has given me all of the benefits that I only dreamed of.  Each person is different and must do what works for them and only they know what criteria that is.  You are still young and have the time to do this IF this is what you want to do.  I am here for you.  ❤️

[iLuvAutumn]

🗣  Group Discussion: What does SELF CARE mean to YOU? To some it may mean taking care of those medical issues we may have. It can also mean NURTURING your "insides" while YOU HEAL.

[iLuvAutumn]

Growing up I NEVER knew how IMPORTANT self care was until I RETIRED because of COVID at the age of 62 in 2020. Way EARLIER than planned. But this year 2024, I can "honestly" say I have FINALLY arrived at my destination of ACCEPTING 4 years of UNWANTED SURPRISES. And yes, learning to take care of my "insides" FINALLY saved my life. Too many times in the past, due to NOT knowing any better - depression TORMENTED me. Guys, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!  💃💃💃  Stay away from DRAMA & TOXIC FOLKS in real life and online = my lesson learn't. Luv, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

Senior Moment - forgot my DAILY SELF CARE.  🙄🙄🙄

I luv Autumn since Walmart "hopefully" puts out the GLADE PUMPKIN CANDLES. I "hoard" them to "last" ALL YEAR. Pricey, but NO other candles apart from the MORE EXPENSIVE YANKEE CANDLES work for me. I use the "leftover" wax from candles that can NO longer be "lit" in my VERY TINY wax burner. Lol, I am in heaven for a FEW HOURS!!!  💃💃💃

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[JulieT507376]

I have lost love ones recently and my husband just left me alone to handle everything.  My oldest son,  grandfather of the baby that just passed away is talking about divorcing my daughter in law.  There is so much more drama in my life I can’t trouble you with.  Mark would help me through all of this one step at a time.  Now I’m alone.  I visit with a counselor and I have friends but it’s not the same.  We were partners not just support.  I no longer have a partner.  I find myself wanting so badly to be with him.  I know you all understand what I’m feeling.  I’m dead inside without Mark.  I think Sadie knows my sadness.  I wish I could be happier for her.  Fall is coming.  It’s cooling off.  I’m going to be alone on these cold nights.  Where I live there is lots of snow and ice.  I will be shut in.  Mark would be the brave driver! 

[Cadee2719]

  Julie, I truly understand.  My husband and I would have been married 63 years this November. We were partners in life and now I am alone.  I am learning about who I am as a person.  It is overwhelming to be responsible for all the decisions in life, praying that I am making the right ones.  Most important is for you to TAKE CARE OF YOU.  Eliminate negative people in your life and realize that "you" cannot be their sounding board or resolve their problems.  I cannot tell you what a load has been lifted off my shoulders by doing this.  Perhaps to some this may sound cruel and self absorbed BUT it is time that we take care of ourselves.  (A new concept for me)  I will be honest with you and admit I don't know if and when this sadness will go away but I work hard at finding a little happiness each day.  I will be experiencing my first winter with snow being alone in my home and I will admit that I am lost as to what I will do to occupy my time and mind. I know for fact that I will be ordering groceries to be delivered because there is NO WAY I am driving in the snow!   It will be two years this October that I lost my husband and it feels like it was yesterday.  I pray that each day I will become stronger.  I, too journal, and agree with Marcy that this helps me process my feelings.  My friends here taught me ONE DAY AT A TIME and to be kind to ourselves.  In a way we are lucky; we had a love that will never be forgotten and those memories,  are what will get us through each day.  ❤️

[MarcyW882921]

My heart goes out to you Julie @JulieT507376 . It is likely too overwhelming to think about all of the things going on around you. Focus on yourself and prioritize things that need to be done for you. Talking with your counselor and friends definitely is not the same as talking with your spouse, but their support is still an important part of your life. Some people find that continuing to talk with their loved one is beneficial and it doesn't cost anything to try. Although I am not a writer, I did find writing my thoughts in a journal was helpful. You are a different person now than you were when Mark was with you and it will take time to find out who you are now.

Marcy

[iLuvAutumn]

SO GOOD to hear from you dear Julie @JulieT507376 !!! Happy Dance Time.  💃💃💃

Dear friend, we could be TWINS with the "drama & furbaby" and YOUR POST was a MUCH NEEDED reassurance I am not the only one.

So here are my COPING SKILLS - lol, not saying they will work for YOU, but thought I would share.

(1) RUN from the "drama" in real life and online. FOCUS on YOU & SADIE for now. IF at some point you can DEAL with the "drama" then do so. One of the MAIN reasons [there are others] I am HOPING my "only" child RETURNS to Virginia where I am IS HIS & MY FAMILY DRAMA where she is - FLORIDA.  🙄🙄🙄

I would NOT be alive TODAY being around them.

I MISS my daughter EVERY DAY  😭😭😭,  but she HATED Virginia & refuses to LEAVE FLORIDA in spite of being "laid off" from her Engineering Job there since 4/11/24.

I HAVE NO FAMILY IN VIRGINIA. Happy Dance Time.  💃💃💃

[2] Lol, some days and nights Mr.  🐈  TRIES my luv, but HE IS SAVING ME from STAYING IN BED ALL DAY.  🤣😂

So Sadie  🐕  is ALSO SAD, hey - she misses her Daddy!!!  😭😭😭

[3] Cry when you need to. Get angry when you need to. Those EMOTIONS ARE YOUR HEALING.

Did you see Our AARP Expert Amy's @agoyer post about her losses? I can give you the LINK to her post here. NO PRESSURE at all.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JULIE wrote: I have lost love ones recently and my husband just left me alone to handle everything.  My oldest son,  grandfather of the baby that just passed away is talking about divorcing my daughter in law.  There is so much more drama in my life I can’t trouble you with.  Mark would help me through all of this one step at a time.  Now I’m alone.  I visit with a counselor and I have friends but it’s not the same.  We were partners not just support.  I no longer have a partner.  I find myself wanting so badly to be with him.  I know you all understand what I’m feeling.  I’m dead inside without Mark.  I think Sadie knows my sadness.  I wish I could be happier for her.  Fall is coming.  It’s cooling off.  I’m going to be alone on these cold nights.  Where I live there is lots of snow and ice.  I will be shut in.  Mark would be the brave driver! ***]

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[jonibee]

I have finally returned to knitting after a time away  because of carpal tunnel . This was before the leg problems...My last visit with vascular she said I would feel a lot of difference after a month so far this leg is doing okay but I have another issue called Bakers Ciyst on both legs which is where the leg bends behind the knee..It's a sac that fills up with fluid and hurts when the leg is prone position so propping it up takes the pressure off..A diet that is low in salt and foods that have salt in them has to be abstained as this makes matters worse..If it doesn't improve than an Orthopedic doctor would have to be seen possibly to drain that area..Hopefully it won't come to this...I have my days that I still mourn the loss of hubby but feel that he is with me spirit wise...I keep busy on the days that I feel up to it..Knitting is very relaxing providing that you don't do intricate patterns where mistakes can be made very easily..Have a nice weekend to All...

[MarcyW882921]

Joni @jonibee ,

It is comforting to feel your husband's spirit and great to have an activity that provides relaxation. I'm glad you have both and hope that along with following your doctor's orders will get you through your current physical challenges.

Marcy

[jonibee]

dish cloth knittedtri-colored scarf knittedknitted fingerless opera style glovesboys knitted cardiganwall hanging knitted flower basketknitted 4 seasons wreathswork in progress color block throw knittedAsst. things knittedFall knitted slipper sox

[JulieT507376]

jonibee, beautiful projects!  I wish I knew how to do that!  Busy hands are happy hands🥰😊

[iLuvAutumn]

SO GOOD to hear from you Julie @JulieT507376 !!! Happy Dance Time.  💃💃💃  And I wish I knew how to QUILT like YOU. Lovely "quilt" you SHARED with us and please MORE when you RETURN to doing them my friend. Luv, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JULIE wrote: jonibee, beautiful projects!  I wish I knew how to do that!  Busy hands are happy hands🥰😊  ***]

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[iLuvAutumn]

SO GOOD to hear from YOU Jonibee @jonibee !!! Happy Dance Time.  💃💃💃

Wow and wow - you are indeed TALENTED!!!  👍👍👍

Lol, I need to order some Winter Stuff from you.

On the serious, thank you SO MUCH for sharing = made my DAY EXTRA SPECIAL my friend.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JONIBEE wrote: 📸  Several Pictures  📸

dish cloth knittedtri-colored scarf knittedknitted fingerless opera style glovesboys knitted cardiganwall hanging knitted flower basketknitted 4 seasons wreathswork in progress color block throw knittedAsst. things knittedFall knitted slipper sox

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***]

[jonibee]

Right now I'm a bit "rusty" and I'm making a knitted ribbed hat in black with a combo use of odds n ends of yarn in the border red/olive/ rust  which adds interest as black sometimes needs a color to liven things up and it's hard on the eyes especially when doing a pattern (can't detect the stitches)...I like making decorations to hang to display...

[iLuvAutumn]

HAPPY DANCE TIME double time Jonibee @jonibee !!!  💃💃💃💃💃💃

SO GLAD you are back to knitting my friend.

Luv,

Nicole 🙂

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[*** JONIBEE wrote: Right now I'm a bit "rusty" and I'm making a knitted ribbed hat in black with a combo use of odds n ends of yarn in the border red/olive/ rust  which adds interest as black sometimes needs a color to liven things up and it's hard on the eyes especially when doing a pattern (can't detect the stitches)...I like making decorations to hang to display... ***]

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[jonibee]

These are items that I have knitted in the past. I had to take a break from knitting for over a year due to carpal tunnel in both hands. Recently I have returned to knitting but only for short periods of time so no to stress the hand and fingers..I was asked to show some of my knitting projects these are a small sampling...