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caregiving

My name is Beth.  My 92 year old mom moved in with me in May 2017.  She was living by herself since 1993 when my dad passed away and was doing great until her pest control company found termites under her house and recommended a tent treatment which enclosed her entire home which meant she couldn't  be thete for several days so she came and stayed with my family which is a little over an hour from her house.  Her house was treated, mom went back home and was thete for a couple of days and then my middle daughter went to spend the weekend with her and the day my daughter was going to come back home, I received a call from my daughter while I was at work and she told me that grandma was scared, didnt feel safe,  and didn't think she could be alone so I talked to my mom and told her to come back to my house with my daughter and stay for awhile until she felt ready to go back and she never went back home.  She made the right decision which I know was hard for her to do.  She's gotten forgetful (short term memory loss) and was having issues with driving.  Having her has been a blessing because I don't worry about her like I did when she was at her house but the adkustments we have had to make have been challenging including vacations and day trips.  She's  healthy as a horse but is slow getting around and a bit wobbly.  My family goes camping alot and grandma isn't fond of camping but she's  a trooper and has gone with us quite a few times and each time she would always comment on our way back home how much she enjoyed the trip.  We've  taken her to our one week time share trip as well and making accommodations to suit her needs with the condo we pick so she doesn't  have to climb alot of stairs.  We bring her because she isn't  safe to be alone for long periods of time.  It's very tiring at times taking care of her needs and I get no breaks.  I am able to work at home and between my hisband and two daughters who are still at home while attending college we all help out to make sure she's cared for.  Sometimes I feel like I can't do this anymore but then the next day I'm grateful that I'm  able to have her with me.  I have two older brothers and an older sister.  They would be willing to help me out but my mom and I share a diffetent bond other than mother and daughter; we are both registered nurses.  We can relate to each other on a diffetent level.  My oldest brother got real sick in the Fall of 2016 and we almost lost him.  He was a heavy drinker for many years and burned alot of bridges with family and when he was so sick, my mom asked me to get him to a doctor which I did and after being in the hospital for 10 days and finding out he had prostate cancer, I can say that today he is cancer free and is living a new, healthy life.  I helped him through all of his doctors appointments, surgeries, follow up visits, and being the friend he needed to get through all of that and after he was better I inherited my mom so since Fall of 2016 I've been a family caregiver and I wouldn't have it any other way.  My respite care to myself if taking my three dogs for a walk every morning, spending time in the yard, taking my mom to visit her dear friend or taking her to the casino.  I know that someday, I might not be able to care for her anymore so even though thete are alot of days when I feel drained, frustrated, unappreciated or completely burned out, I think about what would my mom do if she were in my shoes and it's those moments when I realize this too shall pass and how lucky I am that she picked me to want to spend her last years with - her doctor says she's going to be a Centurian and that warms my heart.  

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