Where to even begin with helping aging parents

[DawnV309137]

I'm so overwhelmed and hoping someone can point me in the right direction. My parents are at the point where they need either in-home care or assisted living options, and while I can certainly research local assisted living options on my own, I have no idea where to even begin to look for other programs or options that could help them. I'm not sure if a home aid is better, and how to find someone who isn't going to take advantage, steal from them, or treat them poorly. In addition to VA benefits, is anyone familiar with any Florida programs that can assist with expenses, anyone that can help me ensure that they will not being taken advantage of when it comes to any contracts they need to sign, and any direction or insight or a step-by-step for how to help them in general? Is there a program that helps explain options to me so that I can explain it to them?

[MichaelB405817]

I would add ... a key to this is that two of my sisters, while working full time, are in the same city as my parents and are there routinely.   As we needed to increase care, referrals from existing caregivers with whom we had a high degree of trust were extremely valuable -- that really helps with the challenge of bringing someone new into the home.   

[MichaelB405817]

Hi Dawn -- my parent's stated desire it to die in their home so my sisters and I have worked together to try & make that happen.  We've had great success finding an amazing team of caregivers to help provide the at home care.  I'm happy to share what we learned along the way.  We wanted to ensure the caregivers were earning a more sustainable wage so went with broker services such as CaregiverConnection and CareLinx.  And have found excellent caregivers through both.  We still did our own reference checks and then had them meet my mom and dad before we hired them.  They now feel like part of the family and we have an extremely high trust and confidence level.  My husband's family also found caregivers through the "agencies" (companies) including ComfortKeepers and VisitingAngels.  

I don't think we knew about the consultants that are available to help you sort this (saw the emails below).  In our case that wasn't needed, we already had power of attorney and medical directives, and updated will/trust taken care of and those roles sorted.  Our big issue was finding the at home care -- esp as my mom needs 24 hour care.  Hope this is helpful to you.   

[SherryW725326]

Hi Dawn; I admire you for being concerned and caring enough to step forward.  In my work as a Personal Organizer & Daily Money Manager, way too often I see our elderly forgotten and neglected by family.  So first of all kudos to you!!  I would advise talking to your parents as to their wishes and if their wishes are to downsize, stay in place, or a living facility that will dictate your next actions.  I will suggest that you have a professional help you in which ever direction you go.  If I can help/advise in any way please reach out and I will do my best.  I work with an array of professionals and perhaps there is a connection that will help you and your parents.

[Mike7SoCal]

Do your parents have a written trust, or have they told you specifically whether they prefer to stay in their home vs. going to an assisted living facility?  I would follow their desires as much as you can (my parents have it in writing that they want to stay at home, unless that becomes impossible due to medical care issues).

[zapatero]

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[DawnV309137]

Thank you @zapatero . I checked online and found a county office on aging for their area. We're in the same state, but different counties. I'll give this a try. Thank you again!