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I retired two years ago just weeks before the pandemic began. Twelve hours after my retirement party concluded, I was driving a family member to the hospital. I am caring for two parents in their home (while living solo in my own home) with the help of one sibling who lives nearby but who also has 3 psychological disorders that limit contributions. Another sibling lives out of state, visiting for a few days 2-4 times per year. We've tried using an in-home health service to help with keeping our parents in their home, but one parent finds it intrusive and overwhelming, so we've had to stop for awhile. An aunt (who is widowed and childless) with medical and psychological issues also calls our parents demanding attention, but I am so overloaded, I've not had time to contact local agencies where she lives to check on her welfare. I am the one everyone looks to with their health and home care issues and, this time of year, for holiday planning, food, and activities. I am overloaded and am not sure what I can do to change/improve the situation. I am so thankful that I have a couple of good friends who provide much needed emotional support. Even so, the stress I'm experiencing is starting to impact my own health. This is not how I imagined retirement would be. Suggestions?

Regular Social Butterfly

Linda, I want you to know you are not alone! You are doing so much that if your parents could, they would truly thank you for.


These are such hard times. Stand strong, but please remember if you cannot take care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else. While I'm not in your place at this time, I hope you'll reach out to other visiting care givers for your Parents, perhaps take a weekend off, give yourself space to recover from what you've been through?


Your post is exactly what I don't want my kiddos to have to do; so I've made most arrangements in case something like this occurs, so I hope your post may be the beginning of people talking to their Families and themselves.




None of us truly want to be a burden or leave anyone in this quandary, do we?


Linda, I so want you to know you're not alone; please reach out anytime?



Phil Harris, actor and showman, to John Fogerty of CCR: “If I’d known I’d live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”
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Thank you for your reply. I am also wondering if anyone has tips or strategies for providing care to multiple family members. For example, one I've tried is that we all go for flu or Covid shots together during one appointment even though that means having to load three of us (plus walkers) into one vehicle. I'd appreciate anything that can free up a bit more time for me.

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