"should I keep trying to get her to see me for the person that I truly am and to stop verbally and emotionally abusing me"
You have two wonderful answers already, but I want to give you a short answer from a 'natural' daughter who has experienced some things similar to what you've described.
No.
You've wasted enough time on people who don't appreciate you. There are people out there who will value you, your friendship, your caring nature. (Just try to stay away from the ones that will try to take advantage of you. You've had enough of that already. There are actually truly nice people out there!!)
No.
Have you ever watched a soap opera and one of the cast is replaced? I didn't watch soap operas & never understood the complaints of my sister who did when this happened until I finally did watch one for a few weeks & someone was replaced. The new person just didn't fit in. It was really jarring. That was it for me with soap operas, lol.
You and everyone in your family has been assigned a 'role'. When you try to change your role / how people perceive you, it is very upsetting and threatening to the others in your family. Even if they saw it as a good change, their natural inclination would be to try to get you back to 'being you' (bring back the previous actor!!!).
You will not be able to change others directly. All you can do is change you -- what you do and say, how you react. When you act differently, others have to figure out how to deal with that. That takes thought and energy whereas rote responses don't. [Too much effort! what is your problem?!!] They have to change in some way to deal with the new you. Unfortunately, you might find the change they make worse than how things were.
You sound as if you've had more than enough. You sound exhausted. I think you'd be better off with a fresh start with people who have no preconceived notions about who you are. It would be wonderful if, as suggested you could have the support of a therapist, got yourself out of that environment as frequently as you can until you can make a permanent change -- if only to take yourself to the library to sit. Volunteer work is good as it will take you out of yourself and your problems and will give you the opportunity to meet other NICE, CARING PEOPLE, other volunteers! (It might also lead to a job doing something you enjoy -- so don't pick just any volunteer job, pick something you like.) It will make the time more bearable as you, hopefully with some help, work on finding a better home for yourself.
Well, longer than I intended, as usual, lol.
Best wishes for you getting the life you deserve. You've taken the first big step, recognizing that what you've got is coming up way short, and deciding you're ready to make a change. (Just remember, the only person you can change is you. Don't waste your precious energy trying to change someone else. Move on to the people you naturally fit in with and spend that energy on forging relationships with them!)