Barry: Thank you for your reply. However, unless you have actually experience this, in person, I think you won't believe the problem. #1. Be frank? I expressed my concerns to these friends early on when they were still "interested" in our situation. They responded with NOTHING. #2. Be realistic what other can and will do." I had to watch these friends go to the hospital to visit strangers, take them money, buy them clothes, food, and then tell me that they were afraid to come to the hospital for fear of "catching" something. When my friend, broke her leg, years ago, I was asked by her husband to come sit with her so he would not miss work. I did, for days. When she had hip replacement surgery, I picked her up at the hospital to take her home after she called and asked me too because her husband had not driven that route in a while, and her daughter lived too far away, then I took THREE meals a day, sometime BUYING restaurant food, to them every day for weeks. When her father-in-law passed, I house sat for them. I dog sat for their doctor's appointments. Now, I feel like a collosial door mat. #3. I expressed my needs in the form of mostly food issues, to BOTH sets of friends (long time friends, all the way back to high school, and we are in our 60's), because I have terrible food allergies and cannot eat hospital food, and could not leave the hospital to go get food. I receive NO offers of a meal, or even to go to lunch in the entire 73 days of my husband's hospitalization and rehab. NOT ONE. The second couple later apologized. They did once tell me that if I wanted to drive to their house, I could have some "leftovers!" #4. I have accepted that this cannot be changed, I have moved on, I have grieved the loss, but NOTHING can take away the disblief and shock. NOTHING. That is why I posted. People should be warned of this in a major crisis, as it obviously is NOT uncommon!, But it IS shocking. This is NOT the way I view a friendship. I have one friend who called every day, prayed every day, and offered to visit or do anything. She is a treasure to me, believe me. I will NOT take advantage of her, ever.