Looking for Home Help for my mother

[e399438h]

Hi Everyone,

I'm very new here.  Just finally saw where to post a new message!  Sorry for asking on other's posts.

My mother is 74 (today, in fact... happy birthday mom!) and is in poor health.  She lives at home and can do some thing for herself, but does so with great difficulty.  She has a very hard time getting up and walking and uses a walker but it is very painful for her.  She had an MRI recently and the dr told her she needed hip replacements and that her bones were literally dying.  Her pain is relentless and my heart breaks for her.  She isn't able to get in the shower so she does what she can with a wash cloth and a grabber.  My father lives at home but is 100% disabled and has 24 hour nursing care which is paid for by a medical trust left by his aunt.  His aides and nurses do NOT help my mom and have made it clear that it is NOT part of their job.  Occassionally one of them will do something kind for my mom (get her something to drink) and if my mom pays them, they will do something like help her wash her hair or clip her nails.  My husband, myself, my brother, and his son (20 years old) do what we can to help, but none of us have the time or finances to help her as much as she needs.  My mom has blue cross & blue shield plus medicare.  I've called local home health care providers and none take insurance, and we just can't afford private care.  Is there any hope?  I'm feeling hopeless and depressed.  

Thank you for reading this.  Advice and prayers are appreciated. 

[LauraG610753]

I am so sorry to hear that. If your mother has medicare, she should be able to qualify for United Healthcare, just look up their number and find out.

My father broke his hip recently, and since he has medicare part a/b, and united health care, they were able to cover for his surgery. He stayed a month at a skilled nurse facility after the surgery, and I am taking him to physical therapy twice a week. 

Shame on the people that are helping your father for not even trying to help your mom. I know it is very difficult for you, but keep praying, good luck. 

[RobyneR472196]

Hello-I wanted to clarify my earlier response....I meant to say...if your Mum does have treatment (hip Replacement etc), she would typically be released into a nursing home/center for rehab. If it determined that she needs further care, once she has been admitted to a center it is a bit easier to transition that to her long term care. (Medicare would change to a Medicaid, and the social worker or care manager can assist).

Another responder mentioned that your Mum May qualify for Medicaid, and be able to stay in the home. Check out:

https://www.elitehhc.com/consumer1?gclid=Cj0KCQjwsvrpBRCsARIsAKBR_0KSr9ajJisFXDLNghKbBTNcljk-bMGZkhD...

‘’How

[agoyer]

@e399438h I can "hear" the heartache and stress in your writing - it's a terrible predicament. I hope we can help. First, a question - is your mother slated to have the hip replacements? Is that a possibility for her? If so, then, as @RobyneR472196 mentioned, after her surgery(s) Medicare would likely pay for rehab in a facility to help her get to the point where she can get around and care better for herself. If the surgery isn't possible for her, or if she doesn't have a hospitalization for any other reason, then Medicare won't pay for nursing facility or in-home care - even if she could get some home care with Medicare, it wouldn't be ongoing and would just be for a limited time. But it might get her through a rough spot. 

Is her income low enough for her to qualify for Medicaid? If so, and their assessment finds that she qualifies for a certain level of care needed that would normally be provided in a facility, as @t857318s mentioned, depending on the state you live in, they may have a Medicaid "waiver" (sometimes called "Cash & Counseling", but usually states have their own names for the programs)program that allows them to use Medicaid funds to pay for in-home care instead of care in a nursing facility. For some of these programs, the recipient also has the ability to pay family members to care for them. 

So - the first step is to contact the local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) and find out what your mother qualifies for. You can find the AAA phone number by visiting the Eldercare Locator and using your mother's zip code to search. Ask about any in-home care possibilities for free, low cost or sliding fee scale services. Ask if they can do a free in-home assessment. Usually they, (or the local Aging and Disabilities Resource Center (ADRC), which you can also find at the Eldercare Locator - often it's the same agency as the AAA), can help assess, guide you to services and in applying for Medicaid and/or refer you to a local Medicaid office.

I hope this is helpful! Please do let us know how things are going and if you have any further questions! 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving and

Color Your Way Content When Caring for Loved Ones

[t857318s]

Hi.  Welcome to the group.  You can try applying to your state's Medicaid Long Term Care Plan.  That's how I can afford home health care for my mom.  We live in Florida and I know every state is different, but you can call your state's Department of Aging for general information on this.  I hope this helps. Also if your mom or dad were veterans, they may be entitled to money that will help with a caregiver. 

[RobyneR472196]

I feel for you and your family. Her health insurance should have some level of nursing home care, for a short period of time. Depending on her financial situation, she could potentially be released from a hospital stay (if one were to occur) into a nursing home for rehab. Typically a social worker in the hospital will submit the applications to nursing homes and provide you with assistance and tips regarding the required forms. If your Mum has any financial reserves those would most likely be absorbed when her Medicare Blue Cross, eventually converts to Medicare. You might check to see if your Mum’s GP has a social worker or care manager assigned to the office. They can be helpful in providing some local resources. 

‘Best wishes for your Mum and family.