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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 11 of 19

One idea i used when i had trouble asking directly is to ask someone else to ask. If i recruit a friend of mine to call and ask for me, then the friend is able to hear the response of the called and absorb the truth -- that they really didn't mean it when they said call if you need anything. The called person feels less guilty and the caller doesn't get her feelings hurt. Spares you the awkwardness!

 

Of course sometimes people will agree to help!

 

I'm all about avoiding awkward situations if i can.

 

Jane

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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 12 of 19

It is very difficult to ask for help especially when you have always been an independent person. The list provided by AARP is very extensive. Try to follow the recommendations provided. It is also helpful to practice asking for help. This may sound silly but it can actually help. You can also use different ways to seek outside help from others. You can do it verbally or in writing via a note, email or text explaining yourr new life circumstances. Asking for help is a challenging and often overwhelming process. Also try to say to yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen"" You may answer that you will feel anxious and/or the individual may say "no" . Also consider seeing outside services for help and resources.

best of luck in your caretaking journey

Dr.Marcy

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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 13 of 19

@d696534z wrote:

Hi my name is Diana Zamora I am my mom caretaker I have a brother and two sisters who don't come and help out it's hard taking care of my mom


Hi Diana. Have you tried asking for a family meeting, or using a time you all get together anyway to ask how your brother and sisters are going to pitch in?  How about packing her up for a day outing and delivering her to your sister's house for a Saturday? That might surprise them into making a way to help... to share the hard stuff.

 

tell us more?

jane

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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 14 of 19

@m907706g wrote:

I have no brothers or sisters so I basically had to do it on my own.  May I just throw this in.  I got zero help from the catholic church.


what kind of help are you looking for? my parish was able to organize casseroles and transportation for a 41 year old woman who had a stroke. it would be the community, not the priests and nuns, i'd hope for help from.

 

have you checked out what's free? type in your zip code into eldercare.gov and go meet with the agency. being a good caregiving child does not mean being a martyr. 

 

what have you figured out for yourself in your role as caregiver? i know i'm learning all the time from other caregivers...

 

jane

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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 15 of 19

Hi my name is Diana Zamora I am my mom caretaker I have a brother and two sisters who don't come and help out it's hard taking care of my mom

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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 16 of 19

@DrMarcy  Great post and information you shared.  Welcome aboard!  Are you a caregiver?

AARPTeri
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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 17 of 19

Asking for help from others is one of the most difficult tasks for a caregiver. Most caregivers often feel that he or she must do everything on their own. It is important to ask for help while realizing that the answer may be "no" or you may not receive the exact type of help that you are seeking. You also must accept that help will never be provide in the same way that you "provide help." But all caregivers need some type of help. There are all types of help. You may ask for a friend to watch your loved one while you do chores in our outside of your home or simply take a walk, you can let your church, synagogue or neighbors know that you need assistance and let them prepare a few meals. Never assume that others know that you need help even thought that would be nice. Caretakers need to find ways to care for themselves. 

-Attend a Caregivers group

-Exercise

-Talk to a friend

-Read a book

Most important of all let others help you

Advice from Dr. Marcy 

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Re: How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 18 of 19

I have no brothers or sisters so I basically had to do it on my own.  May I just throw this in.  I got zero help from the catholic church.

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How Do You Ask for Help?

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Message 19 of 19

Do you have family that is less enthusastic to help you with your caregiving needs? Has it been difficult to ask for help? What has happened when you tried? If you are discouraged, here are some tips on how to get the help you deserve. READ HERE

 

1140-adult-children-caregiving-help.imgcache.rev62cc1b2e0fd0aa6769bbd0e087c97b87.jpg

What's missing from this list? 

AARPJen
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