Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[LydiaN586309]

Yes, Dave!

That's me and my travel buddy--excited and ready to go, go, go!  If I had a nickname, surely it would be "LEADFOOT!"

[DaveMcK]

As we get old!

[LydiaN586309]

Lemme tell ya, it's NOT the getting down there....it's the "trying" to get back up that's the kicker!  More than once have I found myself down on the floor, struggling to get up, and having to pull myself up like a two year old.  And then there've been times when, after trying several times, I've just rolled over on my back and had a good laugh at my own expense.

Somethin' similar to this!  Smile.

[n566192l]

LydiaN586309

What a wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing this with me

Nancy

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[LydiaN586309]

Too big a laffing.  Too tiny bladder.

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[LydiaN586309]

[happysmile13]

YES WISHING

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

SMOKIN’

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

GERT: Holy smoke, What’s that?
MABEL: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.

GERT: Where did you get it?
MABEL: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Gert hobbles into the local drugstore and tells the pharmacist that she needs a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, almost 90 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers. Gert answers, “Doesn’t matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.”

The pharmacist fainted.

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[DaveMcK]

Turkey jokes!

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me.

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me.

[DaveMcK]

Turkey joke!

[DaveMcK]

Hope this works for everyone as it is from Facebook!

Click link: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1139520462890379&id=235592407101842

[DaveMcK]

Time for some turkey joke for a while!

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me.

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me.

[DaveMcK]

Seniors jokes

[LydiaN586309]

The Famous Man
On day a famous man went to a nursing home to see all of his friends again and see how there were doing. When he got there EVERYBODY greeted him [because, of course, everybody knows him]. One man he noticed didn't come up to him or say anything to him, so later he walked up to the man and asked him "Do you know who I am?" and the old man replied "No, but you can go to the front desk and they'll tell you."

[LydiaN586309]

This is not really a senior joke, but it's funny.  So here goes:

Police pull over a teenager
Police: where do u live?
teenager: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
teenager: with me
Police: where do u all live?
teenager: together
Police: where is ur house?
teenager: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
teenager: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
teenager: next to my house

[LydiaN586309]

Chocolate covered Peanuts
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?' 'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

("Oh, be still my churning tummy!")

[LydiaN586309]

A couple in their nineties were both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor told them that they were physically okay, but might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asked. 

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" 

"Sure.." 

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asked. 

"No, I can remember it.." 

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?" 

He said, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." 

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that - write it down?" she asked. 

Irritated, he said, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" 

Then he toddled off into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returned and handed his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment.

"Where's my toast?"

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me

[DaveMcK]

Old timers!

[LydiaN586309]

Rock and Roll isn't what it used to be.

[DaveMcK]

28 Things Only Baby Boomers Will Remember

Ah, simpler times.

By Jamie Ballard

Apr 27, 2018

From the 1940's to tthe 1960's!

Link:

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/g20074870/baby-boomer-facts/?src=arb_fb_m&utm_so...

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!