SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

BonnieC10 · ‎07-12-2010

Joke deleted

dustbusterz · ‎08-23-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by curious347

Sarah, the church gossip & self-appointed supervisor of members' morals, kept sticking her nose into óther people's business. Ha ha yes. I Like it

curious347 · ‎08-22-2011

Sarah, the church gossip & self-appointed supervisor of members' morals, kept sticking her nose into óther people's business. Tho' some were unappreciative of her activities, they feared her enough to stay silent. But she made a mistake when she accused George, a new member, of being a drunk when she saw his truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and anyone else that would listen about his "problem". George, a man of few words, just stared at her and walked away quietly. Later that evening, he simply parked his truck in front of Sarah's house........and left it there all night.

dustbusterz · ‎08-22-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

This was written by a black gentleman in Texas...

lol

dustbusterz · ‎08-22-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

lol

dustbusterz · ‎08-22-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

thank you so much, so happy these jokes can bring a laugh.

http://www.aarp.org/online-community/dustbusterz

nell2 · ‎08-22-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

BonnieC10 / a great one

5000 years ago, Moses said, "Pick up your shovels,

LOL

nell2 · ‎08-22-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

dustbusterz

Quitchur Bitchin. If you like this, repost. If you dont.... Suck It ------LOL

BonnieC10 · ‎08-22-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says:

"The only sure things in life are death and taxes...

Too bad they aren't in that order."

BonnieC10 · ‎08-22-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Judge Judy to a prostitute:

"When did you realize you were raped?"

Prostitute (wiping away tears):

"When the check bounced."

The American public are beginning to reach the same conclusion.

dustbusterz · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

what is six inches long lives in a mans pants and women love to blow it
don't be a perv its money

dustbusterz · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

BREAKING NEWS: The pity train has derailed at the intersection of suck it up and move on, then crashed into We All have problems before coming to a complete stop at Get the heck over it. Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1 800 waa~waaa. This is Dr. Sniffle reporting live from Quitchur Bitchin. If you like this, repost. If you dont.... Suck It Up Buttercup, Life doesn't always revolve around you.....I just had to borrow this one . How many will it fit...

dustbusterz · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

5000 years ago, Moses said, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

When Welfare was introduced, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Today, the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land to China. This deserves to be reposted...Thanks

dustbusterz · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

The economy is so bad that: I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street". Finally, I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck???

nell2 · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie so glad you had a good vacation

a black gentleman in Texas... love it - lol

BonnieC10 · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

This was written by a black gentleman in Texas...

WHEN YOU BLACK...U BLACK

WHEN I WAS BORN, I WAS BLACK.

WHEN I GREW UP, I WAS BLACK

WHEN I GO IN THE SUN, I STAY BLACK.

WHEN I GET COLD, I AM BLACK.

WHEN I AM SCARED, I AM BLACK.

WHEN I AM SICK, I AM BLACK.

AND WHEN I DIE, I'LL STILL BE BLACK....

NOW YOU 'WHITE' FOLKS......

WHEN YOU'RE BORN, YOUR PINK

WHEN YOU GROW UP, YOU'RE WHITE

WHEN YOU GO IN THE SUN, YOU GET RED.

WHEN YOU'RE COLD YOU TURN BLUE.

WHEN YOU'RE SCARED, YOU'RE YELLOW.

WHEN YOU GET SICK, YOU'RE GREEN.

WHEN YOU BRUISE, YOU'RE PURPLE.

AND WHEN YOU DIE, YOU LOOK GRAY...

SO WHO Y'ALL TO BE CALLING US

COLORED FOLKS?

BonnieC10 · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A big welcome to our new cyber friends !

BonnieC10 · ‎08-21-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Thanks Nell....had a wonderful time.. the summer's going WAY to fast! Hope you are having a good one also.

dustbusterz · ‎08-20-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Thanks, So Glad You Liked it 🙂

nell2 · ‎08-20-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

If My Body Were a Car

LMBO

dustbusterz · ‎08-18-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

If My Body Were a Car

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it -- almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

dustbusterz · ‎08-18-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

If My Body Were a Car

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it -- almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

nell2 · ‎08-13-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie enjoy your vacation

Lee Travino, a great professional golfer and married man, was mowing his lawn in Dallas Texas, as he always did... lol

BonnieC10 · ‎08-12-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Travino, a great professional golfer and married man, was mowing his lawn in Dallas Texas, as he always did...

A lady in a big Cadillac, stopped in front of his house, put down her window and asked, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"

"Yes, Ma'am I do." he replied.

The lady aksed, "What do you charge to do yard work?"

Lee said, "Well, the lady in this house let's me sleep with her."

The lady hurriedly sped off.

BonnieC10 · ‎08-12-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MESSAGE TO ALL

Hi everyone one. First let me thank you all for the great jokes you have been posting. May I make a suggestion ? When you post, please click on "Reply to this post" under my entry. That will keep them all together, rather than creating single entries.

I will be on vacation the next 10 days, hope everyone is enjoying their summer. Keep the jokes coming !!

nell2 · ‎08-11-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

HOW HOT IS IT ???---- today is the 1st cool day we have had in 45 days temps all over the 100° mark

BonnieC10 · ‎08-11-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

HOW HOT IS IT???

It's so hot...the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking space is determined by the shade instead of the distance.

Hot water comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 degrees, and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in August it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

It's hotter than a whore in church!

nell2 · ‎08-10-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

old couple was at home watching TV

OMG -lol

BonnieC10 · ‎08-10-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An old couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between the fishing channel and porn....

The wife became more and more annoyed and findly said, " For God's sake ! Will you leave it on the porn channel, you already know how to fish!"

BonnieC10 · ‎08-09-2011

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Two blonde girls were working for the Public Works Dept. One would dig a hole and the other would fill it in... they worked up one side of the street and down the other, then moved to the next street. They worked all day without rest one digging, and the other filling it in gain.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, " Why are you digging holes only to fill them back in again?" She wiped her brow and replied," Well, I suppose it does look odd, because normally we are a three person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."