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It's OK To Be Alone, But Don't Be Lonely

The next time you're feeling too tired or busy to ask a friend to lunch, attend church or join a new club, go ahead and do it anyway. Why? A recent report, detailed in this article, shows that loneliness can be as much a threat to longevity as obesity — even in people who say they like to be alone. So pick up the phone and call a friend today. Visit AARP® Staying Sharp® for more brain health information.

Newbie

I use messenger, FaceTime or messenger video. I call occasionally. I also while waiting in line will greet a person or see something i like that have such as purse, shoes, etc and strike up a conversation. May not take home a friend but its pleasant to converse with people.

Social Butterfly


@SandraI163293 wrote:

I use messenger, FaceTime or messenger video. I call occasionally. I also while waiting in line will greet a person or see something i like that have such as purse, shoes, etc and strike up a conversation. May not take home a friend but its pleasant to converse with people.


💥 @SandraI163293 I too like to chat with folks while in line. Angela 💥

Angela
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Regular Contributor

For several years I've relied heavily on online friendships. I've found that while a lot of real world friends and family have busy lives and aren't always available when I need them, online friends are. Most of the folks that I'm facebook friends with lead lives very similar to my own. So if I need someone, there's always someone there, even if it's not always the same someone. And they relate with living in solitude. So it works out well for all of us. Although it's always being said, "If we lived closer...." It would be really great to even get to meet one of these people in the real world 😊

Social Butterfly

Hi @MonicaLBP yes, I agree, it would be awesome to meet some of our online connections 😁

Angela
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Hi Angela, the books I enjoy reading are mysteries as well as biographies.  Enjoyed President Obama's latest.  As far movies, I enjoy romantic dramas, i.e., The Notebook.

Regular Contributor

I do much of the same that has already been written.  I retired about 2 weeks earlier than when the pandemic occurred. I live in Louisville where restrictions were fairly severe in the beginning.  Things are slowly returning to normal.  I'm an only child so Ive spent alot of time alone but never lonely.  Im an avid reader so Im always reading a book.  I have a Bible study group that meets for a meal as well as study.  My church always has some activities as well.  I do enjoy going to a nice restaurant and eating even by myself.  I do miss having people around to have a nice conversation.  The movies are now opening up as well as plays and concerts.  I would have to say I have missed music and concerts.

Social Butterfly

June 10, 2021

 

Hi @BettyS487482 what type of books and movies do you like? Thanks, Angela

Angela
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Periodic Contributor

I still work Full-time at home since last March. Crazy busy! Tend to do more at home than at work. Dishes be damned! Lunch, Breaks-what's that? I go in occassionally to get what I need, but rare. The office is not opening 100%

Abt the only time I get out is to go shopping (food) or pic up a Target drive up order. Wish I had more than 2 friends (far away), lots of family, kids, grands (also far) - difficult. Have lots of co-workers, but all in their own world. Seems people don't want to make friends anymore. Been wanting to join a Book or Hiking Club but can't find one. Don't get outside much. Glued to pc chair most of the time. Lonely? No, but it would help my sanity if I had a few people to shoot the bull with.....

Contributor

@DeeEdwards Have you ever tried joining a group on meetup.com? It's a website filled with groups that enjoy social activities such as hiking, going to movies, and trying new sports like pickleball. Best, Margaret

Periodic Contributor

Am still so busy w/work I haven't given it much thought. I have heard of it. 

Periodic Contributor

@margarets789345 I was just going to suggest the same! Meetup is awesome!

Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

Hi @DeeEdwards are you going to be working from home even after pandemic leaves? Yes, society seems to this old gal to be distant. I hate drama and I rather chill by myself. But like you said, would be nice to have some human interaction. Angela

Angela
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Periodic Contributor

Yes for a while yet; office (CA) not mandating shots. Since I am elder (I got my shots) am still not comfortable. Don't have to pay daily toll & gas. So that's great! We've been on Zoom too.

Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

@DeeEdwards I am in Virginia, but still wearing my mask and social distancing in spite of being fully vaccinated. Today at Walmart I was amazed at how laid back everyone was. Nope, in my 60's and not about to forget pandemic is still with us.

Angela
Info Seeker

My recent retirement occurred just a bit before COVID hit, and I found that the following activities really helped me keep a positive attitude, even when I could not get out and join friends for lunch, a movie, or golf.

  • Bible Study over Zoom - great discussions relevant to what is going on in our lives and how we are managing situations that arise
  • Reading about a Favorite Hobby
  • Trying and Studying a New Hobby
  • Short Outdoor Conversations with Neighbors - briefly discuss what is going on in each other's lives and offer encouragement
  • Personal Time in Bible Study - either a book regarding Biblical principles as applied to life situations OR actually time reading The Bible - (every single time, I felt better afterwards than before I started)

It is amazing how the Holy Spirit can speak through us and through our neighbors when we reach out in concern for others.  As most all religions say, "Love your neighbor as yourself."  If we do, God's love and peace comes back at us.

Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

@SteveF506793 what type of hobbies?

Angela
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Whatever might interest you.  Maybe something you used to do but set aside.  For me that would be using the billiards table down in the recreation room.  Maybe something you have never tried, but you think might be interesting.  Maybe bicycling or seeing a "movie in the park".  Maybe skydiving.  Just anything, small or big, as long as it kind of grabs your interest.

Contributor

I not only talk to myself and answer myself, but I also talk to my cats and they answer in their own ways. However, I always win every argument! Also I think a key for me in being alone so much is having my faith.  I may be lonely once in awhile, but I’m never really alone. God is good and speaking of good, if you’ve never tried volunteering, I highly encourage it. Now that I just retired, I volunteer at a senior facility working in a little grocery store they have for the residents. The people are great, a lot of them are alone, so it’s good for them and for me. Otherwise, I just try to stay busy. In good weather, I am out for a walk in the fresh air or gardening, and all year round I love to read. Much more entertaining than the TV! 

Periodic Contributor

I do too! 2 cats: Nyla & Deacon (he's a talker!)  Dee

Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

@333Kim333 luv your post 😁 What are the names of your cats?

Angela
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Gold Conversationalist

I talk to myself (and answer)!

Social Butterfly


@2Papa wrote:

I talk to myself (and answer)!


💥 Lol @2Papa 🤣😂 💥

Angela
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Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

Great post @AARPMaggie 😁

Angela
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I write and participate in National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo.org). I have made friends all over the world. I also participate in the local write-ins to male friends with local writers. (It's free.)

 

Before Covid, I organized a meetup group of game players. We met every Sunday afternoon. When Covid started, we began meeting online using websites like boardgamearena.com. It's free, but become a premium member for $20/yr and it opens up more games and lets you invite players. We use zoom so we can talk while playing. Because we were playing virtually, we could invite friends from all over to play with us. I also made some friends on the site. You can jump on anytime, learn how to play the games wither through written rules, watching a video, or observe an actual game. I love it.

 

I don't mind being alone. I read or write. I'm also going through my things in efforts to downsize and sell off or give away things I no longer want/need that my son isn't interested in.

Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

Hi @jezebellydancer sounds like you keep busy no matter what. I am also going through my things since retiring last year July 2020. Lol, now with things returning to normal, I have lost interest and heading out my front door every chance I get 🤣😂

Angela
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I was called back to work after only 2 months furlough. It's retail with a lot of customer service involved. By the time I get done work, I just want to be alone. LOL.

 

I'm generally very gregarious. But with no where to go, I had to find ways to balance my alone time, with my "people" time. Playing games has been a great way to do that.

 

 

Newbie

Having worked in customer service for the majority of my working years, I truly DO NOT MIND BEING ALONE!  Even if you tried to work but had any kind of cough...you were avoided like the black plaque-- where as before they were all in your personal space.  Whenever I needed to have company I would just call up someone and we would just talk away,,

Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

Lol @dgluer50 luv your reference to black plaque 🤣😂 So true!!!!

Angela
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Social Butterfly

June 9, 2021

 

Hi @jezebellydancer retail can be draining. I can no longer do it. Did it off and on while in between jobs. I no longer have the interest in keeping a smile on my face while being cussed out by a customer.

Angela
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