Sir, I'm sadden to hear about the passing of your wife of 30 years. What a beautiful blessing to be able to spend all those years with someone you love and grew with. You all are warriors/champions you stuck with it and I give you a standing ovation for that.
I'm not going to tell you to give it time, because time is going to go on no matter what you do or don't do. If you need to cry, cry and if you need to yell, yell. Vent all you want t, venting can be healing. I still cry about my mom who made her transition when I was about 10/11 years old. I will never get over it, however, it doesn't hurt so much anymore and I have memory moments when I think of something she did and I smile. I don't know if you did it this way, but many make it through sobriety one day at a time. I imagine this would be a good way to start.
Regarding the system, yes, at times it is slow and without feeling. It seems at it is only in place just to aggravate and make us give up trying. But stay strong, rest if you must but get up and get going again, don't let them get the best of you. You made a promise and I'm guessing you want to keep it. That was one of the things that kept me going, wanting to make my mom proud. I made a promise to her too and that promise kept me out of a lot of trouble.
It's a wonderful thing that your wife was able to handle all her personal items and beautiful that she took pleasure in her jewelry business. Some never find the pleasure of doing something they enjoy.
Well, I guess I probably said too much and might have overstepped the box lines, if I did, please forgive me. Just know, anytime you want to vent...message me - I do know how to read without responding with written words - just let me know you don't want to read anything I have to write - you just want to vent.
May the pain of your lost leave you and the joy of the memories of your wife stay with you always.
