WE ARE SORRY about your loss 💛

[SummerOnTheWay1]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief & Loss Team  🤗

[MichelleC103656]

Hey Nicole!  It's been a while. I hope that you and Mister have been doing well. September was so wonderful. Then, October brought my husband Jim and me so much grief. My Mom had a stroke. She went into a  coma on a Saturday night and passed away the following Monday. We were trying to come to grips with her loss, when 2 weeks later Jim found that his mother had passed away. We were staying at her house. We said our goodnights. She was fine. The next morning, Jim went to check on her,and she was gone. He came and told me. I didn't understand at first. We called his sister and everyone. When an autopsy was done, they said that she had suffered a heart attack. She had just been to her doctor and been given a clean bill of health. So, things have not been so great. We are in shock. We can't believe everything that has happened. We start crying some days and can't stop. I know that we were so lucky to have them in our lives for so long, but it just hurts so much💔. My Mom was 86. Jim's mother was 92. Okay, I am going to try and get a little sleep😴. I look forward to hearing from you, Nicole. Your friend, Michelle👩‍🏫, and Hi from the furbabies.😺🐱😸

[SummerOnTheWay1]

@jbar4650 , SO GLAD you stopped by to see us!!! 🤗💛

[jbar4650]

No I don't have this.  I am losing it every day.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Wednesday 7/29/26]

Dear @jbar4650 , I am "thinking" about YOU!!!

How are you doing TODAY/TONIGHT?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[6/30/26] Dear @jbar4650 , we hope you will stop by AGAIN to see us!!!

Grief & Loss Team ‌🤗‌ 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

1 step at a time!!!

[jbar4650]

It has been 3 months since losing my daughter and there are more tears than ever.

[SereneSeagull]

Ok, so I see we are allowed to reply to people here,  it sounded like yesterday I was under the impression we could not.

Jbar, I’m so sorry for your loss. I have a family member who lost a child in an accident.  There is no grief as hard as this from everything they’ve told me.  They have found grief support groups in their area for those who have lost a child, be it older child, or young, that meet up.  It has given her tremendous support, because everyone there has that loss of their precious child and can feel your pain Morso than anyone.

I hope you can get that as well.  Big hug to you.  I’m so sorry for your loss.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

@sandyslaga , SO GLAD you stopped by to see us!!! 💛🤗

[sandyslaga]

I'm new to this group. My husband of 45 years died June 3, 2024, from Alzheimer's.  He'd just retired in January 2021.  He was diagnosed later that year. I kept him home and was his caregiver.  

I am finding this second year much harder.  The first year was numbing with all that needed to get done and just getting out of bed on most days.  Now I find that the reality and enormity of losing him is sinking into the core of my being.  I'm in therapy, which has helped largely because it's a safe space in which I can share the same stories ad nauseam.  I've had the same therapist for years, and hubbie and I attended together from time to time.  That she knew him is comforting, especially when she shares her memories of him.

Hubbie and I had a wonderful marriage and were homebodies these many years.  I have a son who lives with me, a married daughter, and 3-year-old granddaughter in town.  I also have a best friend whom I've known since college and who lives about 5 hours away.  She and her husband have been here in my darkest hours during his illness and since.  

I don't know who I am without my husband.  Worse, I have no desire or motivation to find out.  I know two things for sure:  the cavalry isn't coming; and, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.  

M heart is with each of you here.  We can do this.  

Peace,

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Wednesday 7/29/26]

Dear Sandy @sandyslaga , I am "thinking" about YOU!!!

How are you doing TODAY/TONIGHT?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[6/30/26] Dear Sandy @sandyslaga , we hope you will stop by AGAIN to see us!!!

Grief & Loss Team ‌🤗‌ 

[JamesK33]

I share a similar story.  My wife of 42 years died during March 2024 and I was surprised by the difficulties faced in the second year after her passing.  My wife's illness lasted four years but I never accepted that she would pass away.  During grief group discussions, I learned that an unexpected or a slow death of a loved one is traumatic.

Most if not all of my friends believe enough time has passed that I should no longer be grieving the loss of my wife.  They think I should just let go and move on.  Easier said than done.  Her death left a large hole in my life and heart.  Further, I have yet to learn of a process that puts my life back together. Time has not healed all wounds.

I worry that I have a touch of depression and sometimes have not been able to be productive.  Occasionally, I will go for several days without getting much accomplished.  I have found that the mantra "do the next thing" and a simple to complete list of projects that "need doing" helps me become active again.   

The one thing I have been able to keep up is going the YMCA for swims.  I do not want a preventable health issue to be added to this grief.  

I hope you find peace about the loss of your husband.  I know it is hard, and I do not know of a solution for the pain. But knowing that others are suffering from a loss may help.  

[sandyslaga]

James, thank you for your post and sharing your story.  

To those who think we should no longer be grieving the loss of our spouse and that we should "... just let go and move on", I say walk one day in my shoes.  How dare they judge something they've not experienced.  They're unable to deal with their own discomfort and thus want us to move on, not for our sake, but their own.

Time does not heal all wounds. Grief is not linear.  I will never get over the illness and death of my husband.  I am trying to learn to live with it.  It absolutely helps to know that I do not walk this path alone.

Give yourself grace, James. Walking alongside you.

[SereneSeagull]

I agree Sandy,  learning to live with it.  That’s the hard part I’m finding.  Everything is so different and changed.

My mind tends to linger on the moments before my parents died,  their struggles in the hospital to breathe or be in pain.  I try and shift my thoughts to the happy moments we’ve all shared, but they keep going back to those hospital pain and suffering.  It’s been many, many years for one and not that long ago on the other, with others passing along the way between

How do you stop those thoughts is what I’m struggling with, specifically during the holidays.  

[SummerOnTheWay1]

@JamesK33 , SO GLAD you stopped by to see us!!! 💛🤗

[mc6844]

Nicole, thank you for all your encouragement to those on the forum. Sometimes we forget what is bothering us until we stop in here. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Thursday 7/30/26]

Dear MC @mc6844 , I am "thinking" about YOU!!!

How are you doing TODAY/TONIGHT?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[LaurelH1933]

My husband died 3 years ago & I still need support around the holiday season & the anniversary of his death.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Thursday 7/30/26]

Dear Laurel @LaurelH1933 , I am "thinking" about YOU!!!

How are you doing TODAY/TONIGHT?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[7/19/26] Dear Laurel @LaurelH1933 , we hope you will stop by AGAIN to see us!!!

Grief & Loss Team 🤗 

[SereneSeagull]

Laurel, I hope you had that support.  I came to the boards last night here, but wasn’t sure if I could post at first, but now see others posts on this thread the further down I go.  

The holidays are always a very hard time for me as I know others as well have that same feeling.  Keeping myself engrossed in my interests, but yesterday at Thanksgiving was hard with a family member in the hospital, and just us left to do pizza at the house.  Very hard night strugglg thinking about ALL of the family that is gone.  

[SummerOnTheWay1]

1 step at a time!!!

[LaurelH1933]

The anniversary of my husband's death is next Tuesday. I am dreading that day.

[mc6844]

Laurel I'm so sorry for your loss and anxiety over your husband's 🎈 birthday. We all have different beliefs. I think our passed on loved ones are closer to us than we realize. I wish you comfort and peace 💕

[SummerOnTheWay1]

1 step at a time!!!

[agoyer]

@SummerOnTheWay1 happy to help out anyway I can! 

be sure to check out the section on AARP’s website with grief and loss support. There’s lots of good articles and information there!

www.AARP.org/griefandloss 

tc

Amy Goyer, AARP Family and Caregiving Expert

[SummerOnTheWay1]

1 step at a time!!!

[mc6844]

It's nice to see you Nicole. Still here with your wonderful work on the forum. It's helpful for tips on how to be of help to others going through these difficult matters. Grief is a transition that none of us wants or welcomes. This forum is a ready source of help and hope. Not everyone has insurance or can make appointments. Online is so convenient. I hope you are well and everyone on the forum, old and new, well as can be going through all of this. Take care!

[MichelleC103656]

Hey Nicole! Thanks for sending love to my furbabies last night. Our girl cats really need it. Bristol, the Lynx Point, and Nova, the gray and white Manx haven't been feeling so well the last couple of days. The vet said that they are having bad allergic reactions to their new flea medicine. We have had fleas and ticks so bad in New York this Summer. We have had to give them lots of baths and bomb the house. Our boy cat, Stewie, hasn't been bothered as much. The girls have been infested and have been losing their fur in spots. The new medicine irritated them and made them sick.The vet suggested we try something more natural and less harsh. We have used coconut oil with some success. We have just been so worried and upset. We hate seeing them suffer. It makes you feel so helpless. Well, I have to go. Thank you for your encouraging and reassuring words. 🙂💌🐱🐱🐱👩‍🏫