That's my first time s

[MerriS613632]

And the baby girl three older brothers two of them died last year I have one left and I'm the baby girl he had a stroke we almost lost him I didn't get to see my other two brothers before they died, okay I dyed myself three times in the last four years when was brought back God has a purpose for me 68 years old I live in Nevada. I also just a month ago lost my daughter's father he was found dead in the middle of the crosswalk. Of course my mom my dad my husband made 2016 he met all night so I lost him five years before I lost him.

Sometimes I pray at night but God to take me but I live in that independent home with eight others.

Last year I lost my doggie, Ginger. She was 13 years old deaf and blind and I was sick and would she of course just absorbed my pain. We adopted her for my husband for when I would go to do my volunteer work. I moved up to Ely Nevada for 2 years, and got her a kitten pure black his name is pepper, and he was her seeing eye 🐈 I can't have pets too so a friend of mine is taking care of him and now he's a big fat cat and he doesn't even know what happened to me. Of course every week I find out somebody I went to high school with passes away it's just too much sometimes. People tell you it gets easier with time it's not true we all know that it just gets different. I have 1 daughter, for grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren here that is why I moved to Vegas from California. My stepson died 4 years ago so on that side of the family I have my daughter-in-law, three grandsons, great grandson and two great granddaughters so I've got to get to California sometime but my car was repossessed when I was in the hospital and I lost everything my car was repossessed it's just been crazy the material things I love big deal they can be replaced that there were family photos like that. 

I'm so thankful that you all are here because you understand

[agoyer]

@MerriS613632 I'm so sorry for your multiple losses, health struggles and so much more. It sounds like you live in a group home - are you getting good support there? I hope they are sensitive and supportive. 

It's hard enough to deal with one great loss, but you have had so many. Have you received any grief counseling? If you have health insurance, that would be one way to get covered 1:1 counseling which I think would be very wise and helpful for you. 

Another option is Griefshare - they offer a free grief support group www.griefshare.org and you can search for local in-person groups and/or also there are virtual groups you can do online which is easier for many people. I urge you to check that out and also 1:1 counseling. 

My heart goes out to you! 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

[Winter2025VA]

Dear Merri @MerriS613632 , I am SO SORRY for your losses - people you cared about & possessions!!!

I am copying our AARP Experts Jane @JaneCares and Amy @agoyer . I am sure they will have a SOLUTION for you dear friend.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** MERRI 

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@MerriS613632 wrote:

And the baby girl three older brothers two of them died last year I have one left and I'm the baby girl he had a stroke we almost lost him I didn't get to see my other two brothers before they died, okay I dyed myself three times in the last four years when was brought back God has a purpose for me 68 years old I live in Nevada. I also just a month ago lost my daughter's father he was found dead in the middle of the crosswalk. Of course my mom my dad my husband made 2016 he met all night so I lost him five years before I lost him.

Sometimes I pray at night but God to take me but I live in that independent home with eight others.

Last year I lost my doggie, Ginger. She was 13 years old deaf and blind and I was sick and would she of course just absorbed my pain. We adopted her for my husband for when I would go to do my volunteer work. I moved up to Ely Nevada for 2 years, and got her a kitten pure black his name is pepper, and he was her seeing eye 🐈 I can't have pets too so a friend of mine is taking care of him and now he's a big fat cat and he doesn't even know what happened to me. Of course every week I find out somebody I went to high school with passes away it's just too much sometimes. People tell you it gets easier with time it's not true we all know that it just gets different. I have 1 daughter, for grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren here that is why I moved to Vegas from California. My stepson died 4 years ago so on that side of the family I have my daughter-in-law, three grandsons, great grandson and two great granddaughters so I've got to get to California sometime but my car was repossessed when I was in the hospital and I lost everything my car was repossessed it's just been crazy the material things I love big deal they can be replaced that there were family photos like that. 

I'm so thankful that you all are here because you understand

---

[JaneCares]

Hi Merri! Are you still in Ely? There are some interesting towns in Nevada. You live with 7 other people? Sounds a little noisy? But perhaps also comforting and good company sometimes? I hope so. You certainly are a survivor. 

Do you see your child, grandkids and great grands? My partner has 3 great grandchildren and 2 more on the way. You moved to be closer to family. Being nearby your kinfolk can be fun, as well as good practical help when needed. 

Grief is a heavy load for sure, and you've been mourning a number of losses. How do you keep the good memories alive? Are there old photos and photo albums? We all used to have these, and now pictures go up on facebook and we forget about them. Do you tell stories of adventures with your parents to your grandkids? You are the memory for these young people. You can let them know their ancestors were made of tough stuff.

As hard as it is to feel joy sometimes, what do you do to lift your spirits? Do you like old movies, or gardening, or crocheting?

Thank you for writing us. Please tell us more; anything you want to share!

Jane