Please help me ...

[LarryW513754]

Thursday 7/2 at 11:16 AM I lost mt wife of 40 years.

I was her caretaker for 16 years. I worked as well during most of that.

To get her to relax I promised her I would hold her hand until she was out and that I'd be there when she woke up.

She never woke up.

The last promise I made to her was a lie and I have to live with that.

 I have spent the last 54 hours reliving every time I raised my voice at her.

 I am a ;ost soul.

[MichelleC103656]

Dear Larry,I am so sorry about your wife. I just found your post. I started crying. I feel so bad for you. I know that it is difficult to believe right now, but someday you will forgive yourself and remember all of the good times and the wonderful memories you shared. All of us here know that. We understand what you are going through. We have all been where you are. I recently lost my granddaughter in a terrible accident. My Mom and mother-in-law passed away last Fall. I lost my Dad to Cancer in 2015. Today would have been their 74th anniversary. I was thinking about them today and remembering all the great times we all shared. You did a great job. You are a good man. You took care of your wife until the end. She would not want you to feel guilty. She would want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. We are all hear if you need someone to talk to and help you get through this terrible time. I am so very sorry for your loss. Take care. I will say a prayer for you. Goodnight. 

[Rocky818]

Dear Larry,

I am so sorry for your loss. You made her feel so comfortable by holding her hand.  That made her feel so good and loved. 

One of the things I’ve learned is to look back at the wonderful and happy memories. I lost my mom 7 years ago which I struggle with still. My strength is to look back at the wonderful memories and it does help me. 

Forty years of memories.  I’m sure you gave her some of the best times of her life. When you feel up to it, please feel free to share some of your favorite memories of her. I’d love to hear some. 

You’re never alone. Keep coming back to us on here. We will always be here for you. 

[SereneSeagull]

Hi @LarryW513754 ,

I’m so sorry about your loss.  The one thing I thought of when reading your message was that you gave her peace by your being there, and holding her hand.  As hard as it may be, thinking you lied to her, please know that you being there with her was the comfort she needed to rest.  There was no lie, it was love.  What she needed, you gave her.  The peace to rest.  Please don’t think of your love and comfort to her as a lie.  Think of what you GAVE her instead. She needed you and you were there to help her.  That’s the part that should remain with you.  That’s pure love and she felt at peace with you there.

     I too hope you have family and friends that you can talk to or be with.  You gave her love. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Saturday 7/4/26 5:36pm ET]

Dear Larry @LarryW513754 , I am so sorry about your loss!!!

Do you have any family or friends there with you?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Saturday 7/4/26 10:03pm ET]

😴  Dear Larry @LarryW513754 , I hope you are able to get some "rest" at your BEDTIME tonight.

While we cannot bring back your wife, we do UNDERSTAND.

We SUPPORT each other in whatever way we can.

Individual Counseling for a "few" months LAST year 2025 helped me to find some balance.

My grief will ALWAYS be there, but know that we will figure out some way to move forward.

Losing our OTHER half is SO HARD!!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 7/5/36 11:19am ET]

👋  Good Morning Larry @LarryW513754 !!!

We are "thinking" about YOU.

How are you TODAY?

Grief & Loss Team 🤗 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Monday 7/6/26 1:28am ET]

Hello Larry @LarryW513754 , WE ( @MichelleC103656 , @Rocky818 , @SereneSeagull & myself) HOPE you will stop by when you "feel" up to sharing again.

We do CARE about you my friend.

Yes, I woke up way TOO EARLY before my 6am alarm. 😞 Hopefully I will fall back to sleep. 🤞

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Larry @LarryW513754 , I am "thinking" about YOU!!!

How are you doing?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌ (Grief Forum)

[Rocky818]

Dear Larry, 

We are all here for you. We hope you’re staying as strong as you possibly can. 

Sounds like we all feel like you are a really good caring person and you sound like you’re already our friend on here!!