Keep yourself safe from scams with AARP’s free, two-part webinar Feb. 5 and Feb. 7. Sign up today!

 

Reply
Conversationalist
0
Kudos
167
Views

Re: Loss of mother

167 Views
Message 1 of 4

 

My mother has been gone for a number of years, but it seems like yesterday.  I miss her so much and though I am a “senior citizen” the void will always be there.  Friends were very supportive and I appreciated their visits and kindness.  Most of all, I was able to see that despite life’s ups and downs there is a purpose in living.  Concentrating on the current earth wide state of affairs one could be discouraged and wonder if things will ever get better. What helped me was focusing on the promise of better times to come based on the Bible. For instance God guarantees a time when death, sickness and pain will be a thing of the past.  The Kingdom we pray for in the

Lord ’s Prayer provides the answer to man’s problems.  Examining the promises made by God helps us focus, not on our anxieties, but on assurances from him because he cannot lie.

I encourage you to take the time to examine Bible evidence for yourself.  If you would like more information and would like to write me I would welcome hearing from you.

CarolP

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
167
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
261
Views

Re: Loss of mother

261 Views
Message 2 of 4

Thank you Amanda! 

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
261
Views
AARP Expert
0
Kudos
291
Views

Re: Loss of mother

291 Views
Message 3 of 4

Hi Shawntelle:  Thank you for reaching out and I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and the pain you are feeling.  The holiday season and the transition into the new year can expose our grief; it all can feel a little more raw during a time of year full of memories and expectations. 

 

Have you reached out for resources to help with the symptoms of anxiety and depression you're experiencing?  Talking to a professional and getting some tools that can help you manage these totally normal responses can make all the difference (in your perception, your physical health, how you move forward, and so on).  If you're not ready to go that direction, have you thought about talking to a trusted clergyperson, friend, or local grief support groups?  Sometimes, just vocalizing what we're feeling helps tremendously.

 

I'll share what helped me when I felt lacking in purpose:  1) helping others.  I started working with a nonprofit that serves women and children, and also taking pro bono cases to help other caregivers of cancer patients, and that lifted me up; and 2) this may sound a little silly, but throwing parties.  In 2012-2013, I was so bereft by the loss of my parents, several friends, and a child we knew.  I couldn't be happy for myself.  But, as they say, the world keeps turning, and other people in my circles had things to be happy about.  So, that year, I planned a baby shower for a friend, a cocktail party for my husband's leadership class (which led to me joining leadership and opening up lots of new friendships and business opportunities), and a wedding anniversary party for my in-laws.   For that period of time, bringing joy to others was one of the only ways I could feel connected.   

 

Is there any hobby or activity you used to do before caregiving that you would like to return to?  Is there a cause or charity that speaks to you that you could volunteer your time and talents?  My thoughts are that new things can fill these voids for us.  They'll never replace your loved one, or your love for them, but they can give your brain and heart something to focus on and a bit of a direction in a direction-less time.  

 

Sending you a big hug as you're missing your mom and moving into this next phase of your life. 

 

Amanda

Amanda Singleton, J.D.
Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
291
Views
Highlighted
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
320
Views
3
Replies

Loss of mother

320 Views
Message 4 of 4

I lost my mother two years ago and I was her caregiver. I am so lost now! I feel like the first year was getting used to life without taking care of her and working etc. Now I am really missing her and I feel like I don't have a purpose. My kids are 17 and 21. They are self sufficient, I work but find that I have such a void in my life. I have been so depressed and have bad anxiety all the time. I am lost...any tips

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
320
Views
3
Replies