Loss of husband

[ElaineM928269]

After being married 49 years and 9 months, my husband passed away.  He went in for pre-op testing because he was having a second knee replacement done.  They found two blocked arteries - one was 95% and the other 80% plus he had an aneurysm by his heart.  He needed open heart surgery.  The doctor was very confident and didn't foresee any complications.  Unfortunately, people are not always right.  My husband was bleeding and he wouldn't clot.  I still don't really know what that means except that he is no longer with me.

I feel so alone even though I have a daughter.  She has her own family to worry about.  I have a brother in law and sister in law who try helping me whenever they can.  My friends are there to listen, but have their own lives.

I just cry and cry.  I know he wouldn't want me to be doing this, but I'm just so sad.  I miss him.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear Angela @angelal321199 , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you doing TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum)

‌‌➡️‌‌[*** ANGELA @angelal321199 wrote:
Elaine,

My heart breaks for you! Although, I too have experience the lost of my husband, I don't think any one of us can say, "I know how you feel" each person is different. My husband went for a physical checkup in May 2023, and was gone by November 2023. I can understand the hurt and loneliness. I have 2 grown children and like you, they have their own lives and I don't want to disrupt them. When you want to cry, cry!  It will be 2 years November 2025 and I still sometimes cry. Always remember the good fun times. Continue to take one day at a time. Stay busy, put on lively music, watch a good comedy, and remember the beautiful love and times you had together. Our love ones are only asleep, we will see them again!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear Betty @BettyH506890 , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you doing TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum)

‌‌➡️‌‌[*** BETTY @BettyH506890 wrote:
I'm sorry Elaine for your loss.   It's lonely without our partners.  My husband died 4 years ago. My son lives with me, but he's not very talkative or very social. My granddaughter tries but like your's she has a baby and her own life.  It's lonely even with people around.   ‌‌😔‌‌ I don't have much interest in things anymore.   I feel for you.  

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear Trudy @TrudyA789507 , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you doing TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum) 

‌‌➡️‌‌[*** TRUDY @TrudyA789507 wrote:
Elaine, I too on August 27th lost my husband of 42 years. The pain is too much for anyone to bear alone. I stopped by here because I need help, so I understand what you are going through.  My husband’s absence is overwhelming and the silence around the house is deafening, which only gets broken when my daughter and two granddaughters stop by. I feel lost in a sea of paperwork which I don’t, most of the time, understand what I’m reading and have to read again. My brain is in a fog unable to think. All we can do is take one day at a time, and take care of ourselves. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear @ltnorth1 , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you doing TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌🤗‌‌ ‌‌🤗‌‌ ‌‌🤗‌‌   (Grief Forum)

‌‌➡️‌‌[*** @ltnorth1 wrote:
Trudy, I really understand what you are going through.  I lost my husband almost 16 years ago.  First 6 months, I couldn't stand going home to the empty house after work.  I stayed with my son on weekends because I didn't want stay there alone.  That helped.  Also, my son being single did help.  I didb't have to worry about his spouse.  I was better after a year, I tried to move forward, but time to time still missing him and saddened me.  He was only 62 years old.  He had early on-set alzheimer's at age of 54 years old.  He left me the precious gift - my children.  they are adult now, but they are my precious treasure.  I'll try hard to lead a happy life whatever the years I have left.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear Mary @MaryD25234 , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you doing TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole   ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌   (Grief Forum)

‌‌➡️‌‌[*** MARY @MaryD25234 wrote:
i am very sorry for the loss of your husband of almost 50 years! My husband of 44 years passed away last month. I have the "grief bursts" you mention, some last longer than others.I joined a couple of Zoom meetings through the online group called Modern Widow's Club in case you are interested in checking them out. They have free and paid memberships. I have a free one. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear Elaine @ElaineM928269  , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear John @JohnD284400 , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you doing TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum) 

‌‌➡️‌‌[*** JOHN @JohnD284400 wrote:
I’m so sorry for the loss.. I don’t know why but you remind me of my wife. I also lost her Aug 24 2024 the worst date of my life… I’m pulling up together now 

I hope you get better soon. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Sunday 4/26/26]

Dear @WalkingWoman , I am thinking about YOU.

How are you doing TODAY?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum) 

‌‌➡️‌‌[*** @WalkingWoman wrote:
This is a lonely time.  I miss my husband, Jim, married for 44 years, and I miss the person that I was when I was with him.  I find myself missing the life we had together, and not sure how to go from being 'us' to being 'me'.