AARP Online Community and Discussion Forums - Help with grief

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-25-2025

I lost my husband of 55 years April 2nd. I’m lost, he was my everything. We did everything together.

We have two great adult kids, 3 beautiful granddaughters and a 9 month old great grandson.

They have their lives, which is what we always wanted,…

I just need someone to chat with. Tell them how wonderful he is,…share memories,…

‘Help me maybe get through another day without him…

WalkingWoman · ‎10-24-2025

And today at the supermarket as I was leaving, I saw the sign on the door that said, Automatic door, Keep Moving. Perhaps that is what we are all doing these days, just keep moving. And why am I buying so much food for one person!

This seems really hard...

I'm looking for a support group to share with,

LourdesP908897 · ‎11-13-2025

I am very sorry for your loss. Words are not able to provide what you need, but the company of others may. You may want to check in Facebook as there are groups online that you can connect with and some of them have local groups. I encourage you to also check with local churches in your area. I know we have a few in our area of South Florida. In the interim I encourage you to take one day at a time and look for someone that could benefit from your help, time and knowledge. Praying the Lord comforts you during this difficult time.

Winter2025VA · ‎11-13-2025

@LourdesP908897 , thank YOU SO MUCH for stopping by to support Theresa @TheresaF849375 !!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[***

@LourdesP908897 wrote:
I am very sorry for your loss. Words are not able to provide what you need, but the company of others may. You may want to check in Facebook as there are groups online that you can connect with and some of them have local groups. I encourage you to also check with local churches in your area. I know we have a few in our area of South Florida. In the interim I encourage you to take one day at a time and look for someone that could benefit from your help, time and knowledge. Praying the Lord comforts you during this difficult time.

mc6844 · ‎10-30-2025

Walking Woman I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right. It is hard. I also kept buying and cooking the same amount of food. For over a year. I'm not sure if I even realized it. Until my budget spoke to me. lol. I'm glad you're stopping in at the forum. And leaving a bit of grief each time. I've learned it's a process of life that most of us go through. I have no words to help. You will get ideas and support by reading these posts. Knowing your posts helps others too. You'll get through it there's just no easy way. I get my peace through my faith in Christ. And spiritual beliefs of our choosing. You will be okay! Take care. 💕

Winter2025VA · ‎10-24-2025

Hi @WalkingWoman , I do "individual" counseling as I like my "privacy" and Medicare covers it (a monthly session).

Aha, I feel that someone you lost was TELLING you something. Many of us have gotten "messages" from our luv ones.

Adjusting our Grocery Shopping is hard & maybe you can DONATE the "excess" to someone who NEEDS it.

With all the media about SNAP payments being "delayed" with the October 1st Government Shutdown = ALOT of families & seniors will go hungry. Sad state of affairs.

Amy @agoyer and Jane @JaneCares , would GRIEFSHARE be a good option? I have NEVER used them but seem to remember from members & you posting about them. A Grief Support Group that can be done "online" or "in person" and free. Is this correct?

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[***

@WalkingWoman wrote:
And today at the supermarket as I was leaving, I saw the sign on the door that said, Automatic door, Keep Moving. Perhaps that is what we are all doing these days, just keep moving. And why am I buying so much food for one person!
This seems really hard...
I'm looking for a support group to share with.

patricias112317 · ‎08-15-2025

Dear Theresa

so very sorry for your loss. I have lost my entire immediate family sister, twin, mother is missing person since 1975 and a father who was never that. Unresolved grief has not allowed the hole in my heart to heal. I am hear to listen as the silence of not being able to let these feelings out is deafening!

mc6844 · ‎10-18-2025

I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm glad you found this forum. No pressure here. Drop in when you can and leave a bit of grief each time. It helps a lot And please take good care of yourself Patricia!

TheresaF849375 · ‎05-10-2025

Hi Sweetpea,…rough few days. Still just so tired.

how are you and mister doing?? ‘
I’ll try to sit and catch up. I’m still here….💔💔🐈🐈‍⬛

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-26-2025

Thank you, it just seems that people will read the postings, but no one really wants to chat. Thank you tho,…it does mean a lot to me. 💔

Winter2025VA · ‎04-26-2025

You are welcome Theresa @TheresaF849375 !!! 💛

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** Theresa wrote: Thank you, it just seems that people will read the postings, but no one really wants to chat. Thank you tho,…it does mean a lot to me. 💔 ***]

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-26-2025

Has it been a long time since you lost your spouse?

I don’t want my kids to worry, they are so loving, and I know they are grieving too,…

I just took care of everything that I could, I was Dans caregiver, but it was just the last month that I know it was so very difficult for him to have me taking care of his every need. It hurts me now to think that I may of hurt him, as far as the love we shared, for me to take care of his personal needs. I don’t think I’m explaining it correctly,…I just am dealing with so very much, and I miss him beyond words…Thank you for letting me ramble on, maybe I’ll eventually make sense to myself too. Theresa

Winter2025VA · ‎04-26-2025

Theresa @TheresaF849375 , he died from complications with COVID and went quickly.

YOU ARE FINE dear friend and "ramble" all you want to!!! 💛

Remember, THEY ARE ALWAYS with us.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** Theresa wrote: Has it been a long time since you lost your spouse?
I don’t want my kids to worry, they are so loving, and I know they are grieving too,…
I just took care of everything that I could, I was Dans caregiver, but it was just the last month that I know it was so very difficult for him to have me taking care of his every need. It hurts me now to think that I may of hurt him, as far as the love we shared, for me to take care of his personal needs. I don’t think I’m explaining it correctly,…I just am dealing with so very much, and I miss him beyond words…Thank you for letting me ramble on, maybe I’ll eventually make sense to myself too. Theresa ***]

Winter2025VA · ‎04-27-2025

Theresa @TheresaF849375 , how are you today? 💛

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-27-2025

Sunshine here,…cool, but still nice. Want to fib and say ok,…how are you my friend?

Winter2025VA · ‎04-27-2025

Lol Theresa @TheresaF849375 , too funny!!!

Me, feeling sorry for myself. The flu got me yesterday and NOT happy about it. 🙄

All WE can do is "keep" stepping my friend!!! 💛

➡️[*** Theresa wrote: Sunshine here,…cool, but still nice. Want to fib and say ok,…how are you my friend? ***]

Winter2025VA · ‎04-27-2025

😴 Theresa @TheresaF849375 , I hope you get some sleep tonight my friend.

Some nights I am up ALL NIGHT!!!

Any plans for tomorrow?

Me, a 6am alarm to go see IF my mechanic will check my 2006 Hyundai Elantra "check engine light" CODE when they open at 7am. Lol, this light has kept me broke of late.

Anyway, I am ALWAYS here IF you need me. 💛

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-27-2025

Hi, just sitting here in Dans recliner. I decided I like sitting in his, vs mine.

The day was nice, but they seem so long.
I, like you, don’t sleep well, so when I finally fall asleep, which is early morning., I try to stay in bed. As long as I can.

I’m not sure what I’ll do tomorrow.

I do have a few small boxes of things I’d like to donate to the men’s shelter. It’s things that over the winter Dan would sit and tell he keep or donate. He’d lost a lot of weight, and some of the things he just didn’t want to wear anymore.

I haven’t touched any of his clothes that he wore day to day. Just can’t do that.

well, I hope you have good luck with your car,….things like that are hard for us to deal with, use to the guys doing certain things.

Hope you have a good night 😴…rest…..how’s your daughter and kitty?????💔

Winter2025VA · ‎04-27-2025

You are doing GREAT Theresa @TheresaF849375 !!! 👍

Thanks for asking - daughter called to check on me. Miss her SO MUCH. 😭

Lol, Mister 🐈 hung out ALL DAY with me napping beside me, then dumped me tonight. I inherited him LAST May when the lady who was feeding him moved away. His humans had moved without him. 😤 He is an indoor/outdoor cat determined to do this HIS WAY. I had gone to the dumpster and mailbox tonight & he walked by me like he didnot know me. He is a trip!!! But GRATEFUL he came into my life.

Thanks, I am hoping it is something simple and they will be nice and fix it tomorrow. Light came on Saturday, then flu = lol, felt like WHAT NEXT???

I am here for you. 💛

➡️[*** Theresa wrote: Hi, just sitting here in Dans recliner. I decided I like sitting in his, vs mine.
The day was nice, but they seem so long.
I, like you, don’t sleep well, so when I finally fall asleep, which is early morning., I try to stay in bed. As long as I can.
I’m not sure what I’ll do tomorrow.
I do have a few small boxes of things I’d like to donate to the men’s shelter. It’s things that over the winter Dan would sit and tell he keep or donate. He’d lost a lot of weight, and some of the things he just didn’t want to wear anymore.
I haven’t touched any of his clothes that he wore day to day. Just can’t do that.
well, I hope you have good luck with your car,….things like that are hard for us to deal with, use to the guys doing certain things.
Hope you have a good night 😴…rest…..how’s your daughter and kitty?????💔 ***]

Winter2025VA · ‎04-28-2025

Theresa @TheresaF849375 , how are YOU today/tonight? 💛

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-28-2025

Did you find out about your car? Hope it was an easy fix, but sure weighs heavy on us for unexpected cost.

I took some cat food over to a lady that feeds feral cats. She doesn’t have much herself, so I try to help. I’m trying to get another friend to help trap them, at least get them fixed, to stop reproducing, and vaccinate them. I told her I’d help with some of the cost, so it’ll give my heart some joy.

its beautiful here today, I went outside for a bit, but really wanted to be inside. I’m in Michigan, so it’s spring, and pretty.

you have a good evening. I’m kinda hungry, but don’t know what I’d like. Thank you my friend….you have been so very good to my broken heart…

Winter2025VA · ‎04-28-2025

Mister 🐈 is a TNR (trap, neuter, release). I learn't this from a wonderful lady in a forum here that I exited from. Ms. Stretch @MsStretch had seen his EAR had been "nipped" off at end (I had posted a picture of my very handsome boy) = shows they have been fixed. 👍 She feeds two ferals, Willie Mae (mom 🐈) and her son Giorgio 🐈. I miss chatting with her, but that forum became toxic due to a member who feels he owns it and not AARP. Lol, learning to avoid toxic folks to maintain my sanity. Thank you for caring about ferals. 👍

Well, I have a 8am Car Appt on Wednesday and trying NOT to "worry". I am in Virginia in a very CUTE Studio Apt while I work on returning to Florida to be nearer to my only child/daughter. We BOTH had moved from Florida in 2015. But she HATED Virginia and returned in 2017. I fell in luv with the mountains, Spring & Autumn. Lol, they can keep Summer & Winter. Too hot & too cold. I am SO GRATEFUL the car made it up my hill this morning. 🙃

Thanks for CARING & yell whenever you need me dear friend.

SO PROUD OF YOU!!! 💛

And still feeling sorry for myself with flu. Been years since I got it as I get my yearly shot at age 67. Glad I am retired = been in bed ALL DAY. 🙄

➡️[*** Theresa wrote Monday 4/28/25: Did you find out about your car? Hope it was an easy fix, but sure weighs heavy on us for unexpected cost.
I took some cat food over to a lady that feeds feral cats. She doesn’t have much herself, so I try to help. I’m trying to get another friend to help trap them, at least get them fixed, to stop reproducing, and vaccinate them. I told her I’d help with some of the cost, so it’ll give my heart some joy.
its beautiful here today, I went outside for a bit, but really wanted to be inside. I’m in Michigan, so it’s spring, and pretty.
you have a good evening. I’m kinda hungry, but don’t know what I’d like. Thank you my friend….you have been so very good to my broken heart… ***]

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-28-2025

well, that dang flu. I’ve had a cold/cough for over a week, just doing OTC, and then today my 98 FIL called today and asked me if I had cold medicine. He lives next door, and we, I have been his caregiver for the last 6+years….in addition to being here for Danne…who I wanted to and loved being with…

‘what part of Florida are you from? I was born in Plant City,…

well, guess I’ll go find a snack…I have a cat, 13 years old, a rescue too, named Circus,…and a dog 19 months old, a golden retriever, named Dalton…after Dalton Georgia, because when we’d come home from FL, we’d stop for the night in Dalton. Memories,…huh….💔💕🌸🐈⭐️🌼

Winter2025VA · ‎04-28-2025

Melbourne, Florida. That is where my daughter was born 38 years ago and where I had met her father. His parents still live there. She didnot want to move back to Melbourne (too close to them and their drama) but HarrisL3 had hired her = giving her a chance to return to Florida.

Well, just took my NIGHT dose of Flu Medicine and hope it unclogs both of my noses. Lol, geez - that LAST hour before my 6 hours between doses, it was like, will I make it./lol 🤣😂

I will check on you tomorrow.

Luv to the furbabies - you have quite FAMILY!!! 💛

➡️[*** Theresa wrote: Well, that dang flu. I’ve had a cold/cough for over a week, just doing OTC, and then today my 98 FIL called today and asked me if I had cold medicine. He lives next door, and we, I have been his caregiver for the last 6+years….in addition to being here for Danne…who I wanted to and loved being with…
‘what part of Florida are you from? I was born in Plant City,…
well, guess I’ll go find a snack…I have a cat, 13 years old, a rescue too, named Circus,…and a dog 19 months old, a golden retriever, named Dalton…after Dalton Georgia, because when we’d come home from FL, we’d stop for the night in Dalton. Memories,…huh….💔💕🌸🐈⭐️🌼 ***]

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-28-2025

Sleep well…..Thank you for helping me….this is dalton

Winter2025VA · ‎04-28-2025

He is SO ADORABLE Theresa @TheresaF849375 !!! You are welcome dear friend. 💛 Thank you and the same for you. 😴

➡️[*** Theresa wrote: Sleep well…..Thank you for helping me….this is dalton[Picture Attached of CUTE Dalton 🐕]

TheresaF849375 · ‎04-29-2025

Darn,..went to bed,…I did fall asleep,…I know I did, now up, wide awake.

Did you start dreaming again, after you lost your husband? I have had a couple dreams, but I can’t seem to remember them, I’ll try to dig into my memory, but nothing.

I so want to dream of Dan, just to see him, and to maybe hear him,…I hope you are resting and dreaming sweet dreams of your husband,…

will chat more tomorrow, or today, just at a more reasonable time😴🙂💔🌸

Winter2025VA · ‎04-29-2025

Well Theresa @TheresaF849375 , I have always dream't and so far, none of him.

Sleep - lol, what is that.

I get up often to p.e as I drink alot of water and more so with flu.

Hang in there my friend. 💛

➡️[*** Theresa wrote: Darn,..went to bed,…I did fall asleep,…I know I did, now up, wide awake.
Did you start dreaming again, after you lost your husband? I have had a couple dreams, but I can’t seem to remember them, I’ll try to dig into my memory, but nothing.
I so want to dream of Dan, just to see him, and to maybe hear him,…I hope you are resting and dreaming sweet dreams of your husband,…
will chat more tomorrow, or today, just at a more reasonable time😴🙂💔🌸 ***]