Spending Christmas and New Year's Alone

[sh58233857]

I wish I knew who needed a place to go because everyone would be invited to my place!

[WebWiseWoman]

You're so truly sweet, sh...

Many of lost our faith 1-Oct, so no longer have faith in anything. I don't feel your celebration is not right; I just don't choose to "celebrate".

btw, there are many shelters in every community, town, city that can use your help and support. Please DO THAT! Please!

Thank you in advance, as I know you will!

#StaySafe

[TomW178779]

I have never been married and no kids at 65.   I've lost count on how many Thanksgivings, Christmases, and my birthday (which is on New Years Day) that I have spent alone.   My parents have been long gone and my brother, sister, and I are separated.   There seems to be no care in any of us to get together, albeit the holidays or any other time.   I know that sounds sad but that's the way it is.   

Previously I've done holidays as others suggested I should do to avoid being alone.  I did  volunteering and spent some holidays with other families.   None of those things made me feel better.  In fact, it made me feel worse.   I wonder if I'll ever had a joyous holiday with other people?  The holidays used to be so nice for me when I was much younger and together with my family.  Those days are long gone and will never come back.   

I've always felt terrible on Christmas day being alone.   But I would do my own thing to make it less painful for me - like bike riding or taking a hike.   At least this year, Christmas will fall on a Saturday, so I'll be cleaning for part of the day like I always do on Saturdays.   So on Christmas day this year, it should feel like a routine Saturday.      

[sh58233857]

i understand what you are saying. Our family never bonded as a group and there is no "family" in terms of love, kindness and generosity. I am alone most holidays and have been so since I was in my 20's. With no cohesive family unit, I was forced to make the best of the day. Most of the people I meet I don't get to know intimately such that they would consider me family and invite me over.

[WebWiseWoman]

Tom, we'll all be with you for your birthday!

I'd like to suggest, without being intrusive, perhaps send sibs link to your response? Perhaps they don't know how much you miss their presence?

I've had close relationship with my Bro but he recently cut me out of his life due to disagreement re our Mother's medical status. This broke my heart and I am desperate to reunite but no matter what I try it is not happening at this time...  This is the biggest regret of my life. Maybe that is also one of your sibs or yours?

Give it a try? IMHO it might change everything.

I can't wish you anything christmas as I lost any faith 1-Oct; but I will wish you safer and happier 2022!

#StaySafe

[kb4949]

A decade ago, my spouse died suddenly, just before Thanksgiving. I spent all day watching videos, trying to forget what day it was and thinking about our last Thanksgiving dinner and how I almost dropped the roasted turkey as I walked to place it on the table. We laughed so hard afterward, I can still remember and it was a good day.

When Christmas came, I put up the small fiberoptic tree we bought the year before to replace the old seven footer we’d had for years and needed to replace.  The fiberoptic came down after ten minutes when I realized I felt nothing, it was just a commercial object, devoid of meaning. Nowadays, I just put on the movie Die Hard and run it all day while doing embroidery. I wish I had family left so I could at least call them and wish them a merry Christmas but, I don’t. 

I wish I had words of wisdom to impart on the topic of depression during holidays but, I don’t. 
If I knew you, lived near you, I’d gladly share Christmas day with you but, all I can do is tell you, you are not alone and I for one will be thinking of you on Christmas day. 

[oj3015]

Such a very sweet and caring response. Iwish I knew you because you seem to have a heart of gold. It shows through your message. God bless you.

[DebbieH593929]

I am a widow also.  My husband died suddenly 7 years ago.

[DebbieH593929]

I don't know what your health is like, but I have found that the best thing is for me to not think about myself and find someone to do something for. I think it does more for me than them. Check out volunteering.  Find a church family.Start your own group of elderly that will be alone and have a gathering. 

[sh58233857]

that's the best thing for you but some people don't have the personality to get involved with others who need help. they help by making donations for the meals that were given out free at the rescue mission. and not everyone is Christian. so a "church family" isn't going to cut it with alot of people. i am Buddhist.  i like the idea of starting a group of those who will be alone on Christmas. How do you suggest someone start such a group if they don't know anyone locally who needs a place to go on holidays?