So much loss in 5 years

[LisaJP6763]

I thought I'd repost my story here.

 It's been a rough  5 years for me and my husband.  We married late in life, he was a 47 year old bachelor when we married in 2011. Neither of us had children, and we've been happy, well as happy as "normal" married couples.

This all started with my mother's sudden death in early May of 2019.  Undiagnosed pancreatic cancer took her in 2.5 weeks once we found out.  The following May, my aunt (mom's only sister) passed followed by my mother-om-law the very next day.  Aunt-bone cancer, MIL-stroke.  Later that year, in December, my sister-in-law (husband's brother's wife) passed from sepsis.  April of 2022, My husband's sister passed from kidney transplant failure and strokes.  Last September my father-in-law passed from a gallbladder infection.  That was all very hard to deal with in such a short time, but we thought we were done with all the grief for at least a few years.  This was not to be.

On July 18th of this year, my oldest sister was murdered by her husband of 49 years, shot in the face.  She had been retired 1 month and 4 days.  My BIL had mental issues and also had problems keeping his meds in check.  My beloved big sister honest believed she could control his anger, but sadly this day she was wrong.  I've really been having a hard time with the loss of my big sister, I had already lost my other older sister (the other middle child) in 2008 due to a love of vodka and a disdain for food.

I know I'll get past the horrific murder of my oldest sister, it just takes time.  The hardest part was that she lived 3 houses down from me for the last 25 years.  Seeing her car in the driveway every day was hard to deal with.  Plus I missed our morning coffee visits that has been going on for the last 25 years.

So, we changed our move date to my FIL's house by several months.  We've been here a little over 3 months and our other house will sell on Oct 17th, so I'll be done with that.  It's very peaceful out here basically in the country compared to our other house, so that's a good thing.

I still find times when my sister pops into my mind, and it's still very difficult to handle.  My only solace is that I know she was never going to leave him, she was never going to be able to enjoy her retirement, and he was never going to change.  All that said, it's just still so horrific that it's hard to deal with.