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Message 191 of 205

There are a few articles on AARP.org that address this particular scam and more.  Here is one - How to Stay Safe While Dating article:  http://www.aarp.org/home-family/dating/info-01-2013/online-dating-safety-tips-solin.html.

 

Since it sounds like your incident may have occurred through How About We.  We ask that you send an email to theteam@howaboutwe.com , so that they can take appropriate action to block further use of the Services by any individuals who may have accessed them for improper purposes.

 

AARPTeri
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Message 192 of 205
@bf289 wrote:

 Hi.   I see you posted quite some time ago.  This is the first time on this site or anything to do with dating sites, although I've been a member for 20 years.  I've been single since the end of March.  Been married my entire life!  The lonliness is overwhelming. 


I don't know the circumstances for you being single again, but it's probably wise to ease back into the social scene via safe groups & with friends you already know. Probably the most dangerous time to start dating, especially via the online, is when a person is desperate because "the loneliness is overwhelming"! That often means people ignore the red flags they see, and leap to conclusions about what the smallest kindness might mean. Be Careful!!


Registered on Online Community since 2007!
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Message 193 of 205

Yes, there are scammers everywher and seniors are certainly a target.  Good for you for playing it smart.

 

Remeber though, there are still some gems out there.


"FAKE 45 #illegitimate" read a sign at the Woman's March in DC, 1/27/2017
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Message 194 of 205

 Hi.   I see you posted quite some time ago.  This is the first time on this site or anything to do with dating sites, although I've been a member for 20 years.  I've been single since the end of March.  Been married my entire life!  The lonliness is overwhelming.  I've tried eharmony, Match2.com, and christianmingle.com.  I was on christianmingle.com when a person such as you described.  He was slow going, talked a lot, was an expert typist, and told me everything I ever wanted to hear.  After about 30 days of daily messaging, some phone calling (he was French and had that French accent so was difficult to understand over the phone).  Anyway, he finally got around to explaining how this job he was on required an additional expenditure and he really needed to finish it so he could then leave and come see me.  HA!  He asked for $4500.  My goodness.....lol.   I began putting 2 and 2 together, I saved all our communications and saw where the discrepancies in what he told me over the weeks didn't add up.  I wouldn't have sent money anyway, cause I'm a bit smarter than that (like you).  I wrote a dear John letter to him then blocked him from my site and my phone.  Wow.   These kinds of men are everywhere.

 

The dating sites can only go by what people tell them on their application.  It is us who have to be careful.  Even on this site.  What makes me really angry is even though my profile says I want to meet people within 50 miles of my zip code, they forward on people from around the country and world!  Geez!  A person over 50 wants to have a conversation with a local man, someone they can meet for coffee or dinner,  date perhaps, etc.  How on earth can someone have a long distance relationship such as around the country/world.   Makes me very angry.  I will get an email about how someone is interested me and I excitedly go see only to find it's a 28 year old in Nigeria or somewhere. 

 

Anyway, this is long, but I wanted to wish you well....I hope you find what you're looking for, and it's hard.  May God bless you and yours......Bonnie

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Message 195 of 205

Well said,  Yanch22  ! 

 

You are absolutely correct.   Unfortunately,  it will roll right off and fail to sink in to many here.    

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Message 196 of 205

You're slicing and dicing.  Google "AARP Dating site" - it takes you to AARP.  Receive a message from someone on the date site - it's titled "AARP Dating" in your inbox - you log in to AARP.  Join and you get billed by "AARP."  News articles by NPR, NY Times - "AARP Dating site."  I don't care who is 'pushing the buttons' or 'flipping the switches' behind the scenes - AARP does the advertising, takes the monthly fees, and has their brand/logo associated with each and every item related to this dating site.  AARP should be responsive and monitoring who they link their name and millions of members to...no different than me monitoring who my son is 'dating' -  no pun intended.

I would not hesitate to say that thousands of AARP members who are not computer savvy and do not understand the 'back door' relationship also assume all is controlled by AARP - which it is.  AARP signed the contract, agreed to the terms, and money exchanges hands; seems like they need to re-visit the relationship due to the relationship issues arising....

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Message 197 of 205


 

am,

 

There are jerks everywhere, even on dating sites....you just need to weed through them, just as you do in your garden.  If you're a rose, you'll find a rose...

 

There are dating sites just for seniors that you might find more appropriate and many say eharmony is a good site as well.

 

One comment you made here though is, IMO, a red flag to many men...."I am ready for a relationship now..."  Though it very well be innocent enough, some may see it as desperate or needy.  Take your time....and weed first.  You may be pleasantly surprised to find that beautiful flower you knew was out there.

 

Good luck.


"FAKE 45 #illegitimate" read a sign at the Woman's March in DC, 1/27/2017
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Message 198 of 205
@Yanchc22 wrote:

I agree 100% with someone in the dating site responding under someone's profile/picture.  Noticed it recently when I started receiving replies not matching the profiles.  Getting notes from "engineers" who can't spell or speak proper English.  If that's what they got from their degrees/years in school, this is sad or more likely an impostor!  I plan to play along and yank their cords...sad that AARP does not have more interest in cleaning these guys out and having a more secure site.  Wasted money for something serious so I might as well have some fun for what I paid for!  I can build a story as big as the next guy!  Good luck.  Be glad you're smart enough to spot such weirdos...


WHAT dating website are you referring to? AARP partners with some other company they recommend, but have no control over that other website. There is no "dating website" on the AARP website.


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Message 199 of 205

I agree 100% with someone in the dating site responding under someone's profile/picture.  Noticed it recently when I started receiving replies not matching the profiles.  Getting notes from "engineers" who can't spell or speak proper English.  If that's what they got from their degrees/years in school, this is sad or more likely an impostor!  I plan to play along and yank their cords...sad that AARP does not have more interest in cleaning these guys out and having a more secure site.  Wasted money for something serious so I might as well have some fun for what I paid for!  I can build a story as big as the next guy!  Good luck.  Be glad you're smart enough to spot such weirdos...

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Message 200 of 205
Just wanted to add that over the years I have had a photo of the "family jewels" sent to me. That joker should have borrowed a photo from someone. I have had old guys tell me about their pump, just like they think it is an asset. This is before I had finished my cup of coffee. I have never seen a pump and don't want to see one. That is the same as if I wore depends and told him about them. I have had them tell me the love of their life just died. I have always wondered if her funeral was over when he started looking. Nope, don't think the dating sites are for me.

Soosie
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