@Melomaniac Hi Joe - so glad you are reaching out. I'm sure you've had so many ups and downs caring for your wife - it can be hard on you both. Sometimes the caregiver needs support too.
You might check out AARP's new Community Resource Finder - you'll find community services (including the local area agency on aging), information about caring at home, housing, medical services, AARP events and more.
Have you connected with the CancerCare.org Pancreatic Cancer Caregiver Support Group?
AARP also has a Cancer Care Guide that might be helpful to you.
I'm sure you know this, but as a caregiver, you are vulnerable too. As caregivers we give and give and give. But your car can't run on empty and neither can you! It's not selfish, it's just practical to care for yourself too. You know better than anyone else what fills your tank - sleep, eating well, exercise, sports, movies, a good cup of coffee -- make time for these but also try to find time for at least a few days when you aren't caring for anyone. I've been caring for multiple family members for 35+ years and I know how difficult it can be to carve out time for ourselves - and often in a crisis we just have to put that aside. But I've also learned that I will crash if I don't keep filling my tank a bit at a time.
You'll find many resources at AARP's Family Caregiving Site aarp.org/caregiving.
Let us know if you have any specific questions or just need to vent - we are here to help!
Take care,
Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert
Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving and
Color Your Way Content When Caring for Loved Ones