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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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I have been caring for my wife, who has severe progressive MS, for 18 yrs.  We lived in CT, where we received Medicaid.  We now live in NV who refuses to give us Medicaid because we make too much money!  I am 79 yrs old.  Does anyone know if and how I can get paid for caring for my wife?   

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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♥ Shelties are not my whole life ∽ but they make my life whole ♥
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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♥ Shelties are not my whole life ∽ but they make my life whole ♥
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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♥ Shelties are not my whole life ∽ but they make my life whole ♥
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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 Hello Linda 

 I am writing you to let you know I understand how you feel. My wife has had three strokes and one seizure over the past 18 months she had the surgery to fix the issue which was a brain bypass surgery . Her condition was a rare condition called moyamoya. This condition has left her paralyzed on both sides and bed ridden.  Everything that you said including friends family kids all of that I am experiencing as well we went from an active lifestyle and a successful business and a home with a pool down to nothing .   Due to the surgery on my wife I have not heard her voice since January of this year. I miss that conversation. My wife now is stable and her condition with the exception of her cognitive thought process is still disrupted . I agree that it is very hard and painful and lonely my wife and I have been together for 27 years and this is the most devastating thing that has happened to our relationship.   But I pray for my wife every day and I ask God to restore what she lost and I am courage her every day I see her every day I do everything I can for her every day and still try to work it's not easy all I can say is remember the love that brought you two together and let that be the thing  that continues to lead  and guide you through all of this and that is where you can draw your strength. If you want to reach out directly my email is stmorlando@gmail.com

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Well it has been some time since I have posted here we moved from our roach infested duplex to a nice 3b 1bth house husbands attitude got no better neither did his drinking, then between April & May of this year it's been back & forth to hospital with husband leaving ama on last they drained 7 liters of fluid from belly he had an infection of gallbladder, he stayed till they released him and has been sober since June 1st nearly 3 months if he goes back to drinking he will die and it will not be pretty,  yes I am scared, 

and am very sad because he has 3 Grand daughters one of which he has never met or held and may

never will, he used to tell me he loved me more than life and all I can think is how can he say that and drink away his health his life our relationship our life together no you loved alcohol more than life and me, and what am I going to do when he is gone all of this breaks my heart to tears I cry myself to sleep every night, no there is no life insurance, to ad to all this his 20 year recovering meth head old son is now living with us, lays around sleeping all day will not wash a dish after using it and reuse it will not get on his bike and go look for work has supposedly refiled for social security disability benefits but last time he was here he was supposed to go for an eval and he blew it off thinks he won't have to go for another one I got bad news for him, he has also supposedly filed for snap, his dad won't call him out on his laziness I think he is afraid if he does his son will run off and get high on meth I feel like we are being held hostage by David it's not fair, I bring food stufds home from work and it's always give it to David I brought it home for me, and then I may not have a job come October as my company lost the Walmart sampling events contract to AMS for the last year they have shared the contract so that AMS could have time to hire their own people oct that agreement ends and I have not received a recrutment call from either side, if husband dies his SSD benefits go with him I will need that job, 

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 7 of 282

Dear Friends,

 

     This has been a great discussion thread with lots of heartfelt stories and advice. I wanted to share my AARP.org column from a few weeks ago (please see link below) that also speaks to the anguish of spousal caregivers. I would be interested in hearing your thoughts. Take care, Barry Jacobs, co-author of AARP Meditations for Caregivers.

 

http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-2017/spousal-caregiving-divorce-fd.html

 

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Re: YES: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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@b482586c wrote:

Good Evening Linda,

i thank you for the morning greeting & I felt like I had a visitor.

i am sorry you lost the love of your life.

i am told I need to put my hubby in a facility but he is my life & although it is harder at times, without him, I would be more alone then I am now.

he can't talk but mumbles but I hear his sweet voice every morning mumbling.

by him is a teddy bear he gave me back in the 80's & he will talk to him or he sits him in different places on the bed or even the other morning, he had it sitting on window sill which is at his bed.

 

he usually is awake for couple hours in the morning but after that he just sleeps.

awakens for lunch & dinner .

 

i work doing things like yesterday, painting the wheel chair ramp platform, today it was patching concrete edge up to it.

 

we volunteered at our senior center for 16 years til this happenedtge centers are great as the folks there share in your life as we all have so much in common & they mainly contain widows.

 

i still volunteer by running the Food Bank programs on 1sr & 3rd Thursday's of the month.

Have done it for over 10 years.

the widows are like seeing family to me.

i also decorate our center fully for every holiday or fund raiser which now it is decked out in Hawaiian Luau theme.

 

Dont mean to ramble.

just when you have no one to talk to, it happens.

 

Hugs,

barb


Ramble away, Barb! Sounds like a sweet life, with your husband mumbling and you puttering, with concrete no less!  And you are connected to others both for service and for companionship. A loving balance. You sound solid, like it is all okay with ebbs and flows, good days and bad days.

 

Please keep rambling...

Jane

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Re: YES: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 9 of 282

Good Evening Linda,

i thank you for the morning greeting & I felt like I had a visitor.

i am sorry you lost the love of your life.

i am told I need to put my hubby in a facility but he is my life & although it is harder at times, without him, I would be more alone then I am now.

he can't talk but mumbles but I hear his sweet voice every morning mumbling.

by him is a teddy bear he gave me back in the 80's & he will talk to him or he sits him in different places on the bed or even the other morning, he had it sitting on window sill which is at his bed.

 

he usually is awake for couple hours in the morning but after that he just sleeps.

awakens for lunch & dinner .

 

i work doing things like yesterday, painting the wheel chair ramp platform, today it was patching concrete edge up to it.

 

we volunteered at our senior center for 16 years til this happenedtge centers are great as the folks there share in your life as we all have so much in common & they mainly contain widows.

 

i still volunteer by running the Food Bank programs on 1sr & 3rd Thursday's of the month.

Have done it for over 10 years.

the widows are like seeing family to me.

i also decorate our center fully for every holiday or fund raiser which now it is decked out in Hawaiian Luau theme.

 

Dont mean to ramble.

just when you have no one to talk to, it happens.

 

Hugs,

barb

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Re: YES: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 10 of 282

Hi Jane,  Thank you for your loving supportive words!  And thank you so much for the website to the grief group, Iwill be looking into the group.  I am and have been working with a counselor, Thank Goodness, and I have the most amazing friends.  It's just going to take time.  And now it's my turn for me to care for and heal me.  I am lookig forward to that and it totally scares me.  But one step at a time!  I hope you have a nice relaxing evening!  Till later!  Take Care!

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