How Do You Know When to Step in to Help

[JanekJ833304]

My husband has an uncle who will be 80 soon.  His wife already passed and he has no children.  He lives alone and is still very independent. We believe he is in the beginning stages of dementia he is having problems with his bank accounts.  He worked as an accountant for many years so his behavior is very off.  The problem is that scammers have been in his accounts. They have set up bill pays and moved money from one account to another. The scammers email him and call him on his home and cell phone and he believes what the scammers tell him. For example, they tell him he has won millions of dollars and he only has to pay the tax. He has told them too much information. He does not seem to be worried that his money could be stolen.  With the help of his bank manager, we have been able to avoid anything really bad happening. HIs accounts have been closed and reopened with new account numbers and have been frozen many times. Uncle gets upset when he cannot access his accounts.  He got a new router and had his computer scanned and every time he gets access back something happens. He keeps talking to the scammers so stuff keeps happening, and his accounts get refrozen. The problem is Uncle is perfectly sane with everything else.  It is only with his banking he is making stupid decisions. My husband is on his bank accounts and is also his POA.  He refuses our help. If it wasn't for the bank manager I don't know what we would do, she has really stayed on top of this. What should we do? When do we step in?  He has refused anything we have suggested, is very stubborn and he has a temper.  My husband and I are the ones who will have to see to his care and we live 2000 miles away.  We just spent a week with him and if you were talking to him about anything other than his finances you would never know there was a problem. I don't know if we can do anything at this point.  I don't think we can get a conservatorship because he got scammed, a lot of people have been scammed. I have contacted 3 different Elder Law attorney offices and not one has returned my phone calls or emails. We don't know where to get answers to our questions or advice. So, if anyone has experience dealing with a problem like this we would greatly appreciate any advice you could give us.

[WebWiseWoman]

Hello, Janek,

Please know I tried to PM but not accepted...

First allow me to say I understand your post and I so empathize with your concerns and care.

Please know I'm 70 year old single (divorced 30 years ago) mother of two; stopped driving 4 years ago when I felt my response time was not what it should be (to protect others in my path); cannot donate to issues/people I wish I could due to being on social security only (3 retirement funds devastated before IRA legislation prevented it, then LBOs offered 1-0 funds for 20 years of service - Apollo/Harrahs).

My apology but I strongly believe you should contact Legal Aid (as you are contacting on behalf of your elder) and your local Elder Abuse counsel. They should start action to stop this monetary abuse.

Please know this is not your issue, but ours. This abuse of elderly and vulnerable must stop!