Reply
Community Manager
Community Manager

Do you have a moment when you were at a low and someone or something change your outlook?

We would love to hear your story!  Share who or what helped you lift your spirits during a struggle with caregiving.  Read some great stories from our expert's article here:  

 

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/info-2019/family-caregivers-stories-challenges.html

AARPTeri
0 Kudos
1,563 Views
2
Report
AARP Expert

I remember so clearly sitting at my desk one day, so upset because my Mom had another fall. I felt like a failure because I hadn't somehow prevented it. I worked so hard to ensure my parents' safety - I was really hyper-vigilant. Nevertheless, I was really feeling down on myself and those "I'm a loser" thoughts were crowding out reason. But then I had the realization that feeling like a failure wasn't helping my parents, and it wasn't helping me. It wasn't changing anything. I'm very practical and pragmatic at times, and this was one of those times. So I figured the opposite of failure is success. I needed to change my view of success, because there wasn't much else I could change. So I changed my mindset. The one thing I absolutely knew 100% was that I would always be there for my parents. When the waves of change and crisis came along, I would get knocked down sometimes, but I'd always always get back up. Resilience is success. Showing up. Being there. Walking alongside them every step of the journey...that was success. 

 

That day really changed things for me. I was a little bit easier on myself, I felt more successful and confident. I saw myself as a successful caregiver - no matter what happened. 

 

Now that my parents have both passed on, I look back and feel good about everything I did for them. I did my best. I'm resilient - and my resilience helped them be more resilient too! 

 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving and

Color Your Way Content When Caring for Loved Ones

0 Kudos
1,430 Views
0
Report
Bronze Conversationalist

A few years ago when the law firm I had worked for for 20+ years decided out with the old and in with the new, the new CEO took an instant dislike to me and did her best to have me fired. One day was especially upsetting for me, so I called my youngest son who also worked for a law firm and told him what was going on. He reminded me that I could retire if I wanted to, if I was fired. He also reminded me that I had a family who loved me and would help me, and not to worry anymore about it. 

Turns out the CEO was the one who was let go several months later, and now I am happily retired. I often remind my son how much his pep talk meant to me, and how much I value his love.

 

Sir Granny Tracy
0
Kudos
6180
Views
0 Kudos
1,536 Views
0
Report
cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Users
Announcements

Ask the Expert: Social Security

Discuss your thoughts about the 2022 Social Security cost-of-living adjustment with AARP experts - and ask a question to earn 50 AARP Rewards points. Join the discussion now.


AARP Make Your Move Contest 2021

Enter Today! Ends 10/22/2021. See Official Rules

Test Your Knowledge, Score Big. New Game Each Day!

AARP's new Right Again! Trivia game - part trivia, part puzzle, all fun! Special opportunities for AARP Members and Rewards participants. Play Now.

AARP Right Again! Trivia

AARP Rewards

Activate AARP Rewards to earn points for games, quizzes and videos. Redeem for deals and discounts. Get started with AARP Rewards now!

AARP Rewards Badge

Music and Brain Health

From soft jazz to hard rock - discover music's mental, social and physical benefits. Learn more.

Music and Brain Health