First I want to thank all that have reply to my story;
To the gentleman that told me that it is okay to place my son in a place, hospital, group home etc. When my son first got sick I wasted my time (a whole year) with the first psychiatrist just to tell me my son was depressed. Although he thought the dogs where spies and his brother was thee devil, as well as spitting very huge bubbles out of his mouth and telling me he was spitting evil people out. During that time I took him to a place he suggested for rehabilitation work, for school or to find something he would be good at, well needless to say he had no clue what test he was taking nor did he understand the questions they asked him. Then it was to a place during the day to hang out and socialize as well as group therapy. Well ever time my son would come home he was worse than went I sent him. Come to find out these people were all court appointed drug users that needed to go, that is when I understood my son's comments about his jacket smelling like cocaine and that they put drugs in his food. My point is to the gentleman that suggested I place him somewhere NOT in the city I live in, but thank you very much for your kind words and encouragement.
To the lady that who asked me about NAMI, I have called 11 years ago and I was told about the only place I described above. At that time, my other son who is older and myself decided that we are on our own. So we promised our selves back then that we would NEVER place him in an institution nor any other place.
I am a single mother whose only support was my oldest son until 1 1/2 months ago when at the age of 35 he finally fell in love and talk about leaving but felt so guilty of leaving his brother, which to me was not an option. No my beautiful child you must go and live a little, have some fun, make a life for yourself, so he did with the promise if he could find a better treatment for his brother wee would go. So I promised but told him not to make that his priority to put himself first, because after all he will be the one to take care of his brother when I die. So my point I have tried very hard to find a place that he could go to during the day for socialization but his psychosis does not allow him out of the house. So I feel blessed in that way that I do not have to worry about him walking the streets.
I know that I am rambling and I am sorry, but so many thoughts are bottled up in my own mind, when you talk to people it is always he doesn't take his medication, people do not realize that even though they take their meds it does NOT STOP the voices, nor the hallucination.
Thanks again for allowing mee to bare my soul. God Bless all to you that listens.
Institutionalization is not the only path, nor is group home living. You feel fiercely that he should stay with you, and that works for now, although it is so stressful for you. It won't work forever. I am thinking you have talked to everyone there is to talk to, but, maybe just maybe after 11 years there is more info, different people at NAMI who can help you, KNOWING that you won't place him. Maybe.
And, have you ever talked to anyone at the local ADRC, the Aging and Disability Resource Center? Google it and the name of your town or county and call? You probably already have.
Yes, even when meds are taken, voices still talk.
Vent away, write away, rambling is fine, we are here.