Where do i find a counselor and friends who will put up with a bitter old man?

[JonM592499]

28 years ago, I gave up my fast growing career when my wife threatened to take my 3 kids and leave me. We moved back to our hometown, and she started her own business while I kept getting knocked further back down, that success ladder. I raised my kids mostly alone while working two jobs. In 2015, she tried to kill me while I was sleeping, and she lost her front teeth when I reacted to my attacker. Which made me a wife beater. Strange how there was no blood anywhere. 

Three days later, I was served divorce papers, and she magically had a new pony farm with her female friend , "who had more money than she could ever spend unquote. My kids were instructed not to talk to me and haven't since, but they sure have nice, easy lives. 

So no, I have not been able to forgive and move on. The bitterness remains, I have no friends, family is no help, I don't want to be bitter with my kids so i dont communicate with them either, I fear being around anyone that I will make them bitter too, people try to like me then run when they see the bitter guy underneath,  I don't go to church because I don't want to forgive and forget, there has not been a single day for 10 years that I haven't thought about that day. 

Writing helps, but no one is willing to help me. 

[SpringIsHereVA]

Jon @JonM592499 , I am sorry about all this and donot have an answer my friend. You donot say how old you are. IF you are age 50+, and IF there is a "local" elder office - they maybe able to offer some counseling.

It is a GOOD thing that writing helps a little. I am not into journaling, but some folks have found this a "healing" tool.

It is VERY HARD to get back up after what you have been through.

A wonderful way to meet people is to "maybe" get involved in activities that bring you PEACE & COMFORT.

I am glad you stopped by to share.

Take care,

Nicole  👵  (Ask For A Health Tip Forum)

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➡️[*** Jon wrote on Sunday 6/8/25:

28 years ago, I gave up my fast growing career when my wife threatened to take my 3 kids and leave me. We moved back to our hometown, and she started her own business while I kept getting knocked further back down, that success ladder. I raised my kids mostly alone while working two jobs. In 2015, she tried to kill me while I was sleeping, and she lost her front teeth when I reacted to my attacker. Which made me a wife beater. Strange how there was no blood anywhere. 

Three days later, I was served divorce papers, and she magically had a new pony farm with her female friend , "who had more money than she could ever spend unquote. My kids were instructed not to talk to me and haven't since, but they sure have nice, easy lives. 

So no, I have not been able to forgive and move on. The bitterness remains, I have no friends, family is no help, I don't want to be bitter with my kids so i dont communicate with them either, I fear being around anyone that I will make them bitter too, people try to like me then run when they see the bitter guy underneath,  I don't go to church because I don't want to forgive and forget, there has not been a single day for 10 years that I haven't thought about that day. 

Writing helps, but no one is willing to help me. ***]

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[JonM592499]

I turned 60 April 17th alone. 

I just want to find a way to document my life that won't get deleted. For the last 2 years, I added taking care of my parents while their health fades. Mom developed diabetes and not long after dementia destroyed her memory and her ability to walk. Dad can barely walk, due to advanced osteoarthritis, he can't hear and is very stubborn. I have no time to work on my own needs. 

Thank you for your response. 

[SpringIsHereVA]

You are welcome Jon @JonM592499 . There are some members here who I am hoping will respond. Not an expert on what is out there as far as getting you some time to relax.

I am assuming BOTH parents are still alive & maybe living with you or you moved in with them?

Are you in the United States?

NO PRESSURE to answer these questions. Just trying to figure out what maybe available. Depends on your location & housing.

Take care,

Nicole  👵  (Ask For A Health Tip Forum)

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➡️[*** Jon wrote on Sunday 6/8/25:

I turned 60 April 17th alone. 

I just want to find a way to document my life that won't get deleted. For the last 2 years, I added taking care of my parents while their health fades. Mom developed diabetes and not long after dementia destroyed her memory and her ability to walk. Dad can barely walk, due to advanced osteoarthritis, he can't hear and is very stubborn. I have no time to work on my own needs. 

Thank you for your response. ***]

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[JonM592499]

Both parents are still alive. We just moved mom into a care facility 2 weeks ago where she having a hard time adjusting. I take dad to visit her every day. I live alone on one end of the 296 acre family farm since 1850 in a home built in the 1940s. It's nice enough but I still have all of the kids stuff here which is my constant reminder of my love for them, no matter how they feel about me. Dad is now living alone at the home where I grew up. My sister lives at the other farm house but has been very little help. She is only focused in getting dad to sign over the farm to us.  

Dad would never understand how watching them decline has impacted my mind. I have a 40+ hour a week management job an hour away, so, I have to stay mentally focused. My biggest worry is losing everything and everyone again. 

This forum may not be the place to put these thoughts. 

I'm hoping to find a way to make peace with my past so I can lose the internal bitterness and rebuild the inspirational teacher I once was. 

I won't lose hope but I am getting tired of crying myself to sleep. 

[SpringIsHereVA]

Jon @JonM592499 , are you and your parents on Medicare? Again, I have NO idea IF you living in the United States. IF you guys are, there is a member here that knows about Medicare. I am on it at age 67 & have been referred for Counseling. Waiting on them to call me with an appointment. Take care, Nicole  👵  (Ask For A Health Tip Forum)

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➡️[*** Jon wrote on Sunday 6/8/25:

Both parents are still alive. We just moved mom into a care facility 2 weeks ago where she having a hard time adjusting. I take dad to visit her every day. I live alone on one end of the 296 acre family farm since 1850 in a home built in the 1940s. It's nice enough but I still have all of the kids stuff here which is my constant reminder of my love for them, no matter how they feel about me. Dad is now living alone at the home where I grew up. My sister lives at the other farm house but has been very little help. She is only focused in getting dad to sign over the farm to us.  

Dad would never understand how watching them decline has impacted my mind. I have a 40+ hour a week management job an hour away, so, I have to stay mentally focused. My biggest worry is losing everything and everyone again. 

This forum may not be the place to put these thoughts. 

I'm hoping to find a way to make peace with my past so I can lose the internal bitterness and rebuild the inspirational teacher I once was. 

I won't lose hope but I am getting tired of crying myself to sleep. ***]

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[JonM592499]

To answer you question better. 

I live in Alexandria, Indiana on the Montgomery family farm which has been in our name since 1850. 

For 7 years, I travelled the country developing the training program for the world's largest swine genetics company. As a result of my human behavioural and nutritional analysis training, I was able to personally fit every trainee with the ability to care for animals and adjust their facility and nutrient needs to maintain optimal health. I have always been gifted in seeing/reading/feeling the needs of all animals including humans i encounter. I know i sound crazy, but my grandad taught me when I was 8 years old and I loved what I could see, read and feel so much that it became second nature. 

This ability has now become my curse that I see my bitterness and I don't open up or I say too much. 

Now you can see why I privately write rather than put my thoughts and past in front of the public. 

[SpringIsHereVA · Accepted solution]

Ok Jon @JonM592499  , I just saw this post. So you are in the United States. Contact Medicare for some Counseling. You are too young for Medicare at age 60, but maybe they will allow Family Counseling based on your parents' Medicare. Or as I had suggested in a previous post, contact your "local" Elder Office as you are Age 50+. Good Luck!!! Nicole 👵  (Ask For A Health Tip Forum)

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➡️[*** Jon wrote on Sunday 6/8/25:

To answer you question better. 

I live in Alexandria, Indiana on the Montgomery family farm which has been in our name since 1850. 

For 7 years, I travelled the country developing the training program for the world's largest swine genetics company. As a result of my human behavioural and nutritional analysis training, I was able to personally fit every trainee with the ability to care for animals and adjust their facility and nutrient needs to maintain optimal health. I have always been gifted in seeing/reading/feeling the needs of all animals including humans i encounter. I know i sound crazy, but my grandad taught me when I was 8 years old and I loved what I could see, read and feel so much that it became second nature. 

This ability has now become my curse that I see my bitterness and I don't open up or I say too much. 

Now you can see why I privately write rather than put my thoughts and past in front of the public. ***]

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