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Info Seeker

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 31 of 59

I love in a rural community and am disabled. The community is very family based so as a 50 year old single person there is nothing. I belong to a Church but outside of Church everyone is once again family focused. I do not have the gas money to go into the big city to join groups or activities. 

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Respected Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,706 Views
Message 32 of 59

@nyadrnYes, very good advice, in the meantime my oldest and his 'wife' are going to be away for five or six weeks. They are leaving the beginning of June and I am really looking forward to being alone, well as much alone as having the company of 2 dogs, 1 cat and 3 chickens, will allow.

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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,718 Views
Message 33 of 59

SassiLady wrote:

@Calhounwoman

@ASTRAEA

I seem to still be stuck in the same old place. Unfortunately many health issues are keeping me busy, hmm, I would rather be doing things with friends, of which I have none in this area.

 

I am busy seeing doctors and having tests and we have made some progress but not as much as I would want.

 

I am still thinking of moving in with my youngest son and his wife but want to try and get my health issues settled before I have to go changing doctors since they live 250 miles from where I am, but in the same state. I stayed with them when I first moved here and they insisted they take me everywhere they went and my dil took me every where she went when my son was at work. I should have listened to him when he told me to keep my money in the bank and use it for myself.>>


Nothing is promised in this life esp tomorrow..  being unhappy does not help with any health issues.  There are good doctors and facilities everywhere.. make the move as soon as you can.  Make sure you have your documents current including power of attorney etc in case you will need assistance during any type of illness care and you want to make sure the right family member is making decisions for you.  Just my opinion   Best of luck.

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Respected Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,810 Views
Message 34 of 59

@pvdugas

 

(That which you attempt to control...controls you - Iyanla Vanzant)

 

AHA!  Just like living with a cat. LOL!

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Respected Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,793 Views
Message 35 of 59

@Calhounwoman, @ASTRAEA

Thank you, I realize we tend to forgive others but never ourselves.

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Gold Conversationalist

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,630 Views
Message 36 of 59

@ASTRAEA Yes, I totally understand! LOL!!!

Fey Lady
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,613 Views
Message 37 of 59

@Calhounwoman - I think I've reached a stage in life where "volunteering is work," while "vacation is NOT work." I think I'm happier not trying to mix them together! Smiley Happy


Registered on Online Community since 2007!
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Gold Conversationalist

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,585 Views
Message 38 of 59

@ASTRAEAOoooohhh, did you just bring up my most annoying peeve (single pay penalty) about being a Single Independent (one income source)?  I have experienced every situation you mentioned and every time I get a notice about a volunteer/donation opportunity I ask about the single penalty.  I either get a prepackaged response that doesn't offer any options or my request is totally ignored.

My recent cruise to Asia on the Celebrity only happened because I repeatedly requested a "Single" stateroom.  Since I was meeting up with a large group of seniors, the tour agent got me an excellent price for the three-week trip.  But, as you know, I got lucky!  Apparently, more and more cruise companies are recognizing the increased demand by single travelers.  Single staterooms are being offered, but demand is so intense that they are snapped up quickly.

 

I think our best option may be to create our own volunteer experience with a group of our own making.  Although I like to get dirty when I travel--the jungles of Guatemala and the interior of Belize is still my all-time favorite eco-trip--I don't want to feel like an indentured servant who is worked to the point of exhaustion where I feel too tired to enjoy the "experience".

 

I'd like to experience working on a farm or ranch where room and board is included or help someone set up a food co-op or community farmer's market or even help create support services for seniors living in rural areas.  The challenge is connecting with people who are comfortable with strangers staying in their home or on their property.  I have learned that most people who prefer rural life also are not particularly comfortable around a lot of people--that is why they choose rural living.  

 

Free labor that pays a nominal fee for room and board for a short period of time sounds like a great idea to me.  What do you think?

Fey Lady
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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,575 Views
Message 39 of 59

@SassiLady, @ASTRAEA, Sassi, don't be so hard on yourself!  If you hadn't made the decision to move in with your older son, you would never have known what was going on with him and his wife.  At least now you know, and you can still figure out your next move.  At least you are not forever stuck there; you have options!

 

Forgive yourself for being a loving and supportive PARENT.

 

 

Fey Lady
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Respected Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,503 Views
Message 40 of 59

@Calhounwoman

@ASTRAEA

I seem to still be stuck in the same old place. Unfortunately many health issues are keeping me busy, hmm, I would rather be doing things with friends, of which I have none in this area.

 

I am busy seeing doctors and having tests and we have made some progress but not as much as I would want.

 

I am still thinking of moving in with my youngest son and his wife but want to try and get my health issues settled before I have to go changing doctors since they live 250 miles from where I am, but in the same state. I stayed with them when I first moved here and they insisted they take me everywhere they went and my dil took me every where she went when my son was at work. I should have listened to him when he told me to keep my money in the bank and use it for myself. I know that she will be there for me to drive me when I can't drive myself any longer etc. She has been great. On the other hand the one I am living with thinks I can do things when it is convenient for him to take me if I can't drive myself. Stupid, stupid son and can't believe I raised him. Certainly not like this. Forget his partner as she does not like me. She thinks I should buy things for the house to save him money and all that while she sulks and pouts like a spoiled teenager until she gets what she wants whether he can afford it or not. I also firmly believe that she was NOT raised to do any type of housework at all. I am not obsessive but on the other hand I do not like living with a slob. Sorry but I had to vent.

 

All in all I am surviving and keeping my sense of humor about everything. I wish my youngest had been more forceful in what he said to me and also wish that I had had more interaction on this site before I made the stupid decisions that I made. Oh well they never promised us that we would get smarter as we got older.

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