🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

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[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

14 comments (Thursday 12/21/23)

🚚 🛣⏰   Cadee @Cadee2719 , not too much longer for IDAHO!!!   💃💃💃

[Cadee2719]

Hello to everyone.  Well Nicole it looks like there will be a delay in my moving.  Went to the Rheumotologist yesterday.  Not good news.  I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and a high level of inflammation in my body.  I go for blood test December 26th ( a lot more than the 11 vials they took the first time!).  He is putting me on cortisone shots and wanting to do a vein biopsy and   

 some other tests.  I will delay putting my home on the market until I get the results of all the tests and he said he would put all the information on a disk to be given to the doctor in Idaho.   My son and a friend are taking a truck filled with stuff up to his new home on December 27.  He will then have a moving van load up all his furniture and stuff and take it to Idaho Things didn't quite work out as I planned but it seems as if they never do.  Wishing you and all my friends HAPPY HOLIDAYS.  Mine will be quiet.  Thank You for checking on me.  I hope that Santa is good to you because YOU deserve it. ❤️

[MarcyW882921]

Cadee @Cadee2719. At least now you know the name of your ailment and it isn't some obscure thing that they haven't heard of before! You know the drill...a step at a time. You have an appointment coming up, the testing will be done, and the results will give you a roadmap for treatment. Idaho is still on your horizon and you will have the disk to share with your new doctor. It will be a relief to know you don't have to start back at square one.

Flexibility seems to be a component we really need at this stage of life! The best to you this holiday season Cadee!❤️🤗

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

 Thank You Marcy.  You ALWAYS put things in the right perspective.  I WILL get the eye surgery 1/9 and I WILL get all the tests required to find out what I need to do to eliminate the pain.  I agree, Flexibility is certainly a requirement at this stage of life. After dealing with all the pain that my husband dealt with, I have no cause to complain.  I wish you a holiday season of Peace and Contentment.  I can see you singing in the choir and surrounded by people that love and respect you.  ❤️

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

10 comments (Friday 12/22/23)

Cadee @Cadee2719 , that is what I thought it was!!! Girl, as we AGE, those "old folks" stuff TRY (note word try) to TAKE OVER.  😤

I am doing BOTH Florida and Virginia as like MC @mc6844 and Marcy @MarcyW882921 had said - transistioning over "things" to ANOTHER STATE TAKES TIME.  😎

So RELIEVED you now KNOW and can now MOVE FORWARD with FIXING your body.

YOU WILL BE WELL SOON!!!!

Lol, the DREADED "holidays"  😭, but like WE ALL know - our love ones are ALWAYS with us.

The FREE movie "The Secret" has made a HUGE difference in my life. I cannot wait for their DAILY DEVOTIONAL to arrive on December 29th.  💃💃💃

Thank you for stopping by...  💙💙💙

[Cadee2719]

 Thank You Nicole.  I agree, getting old is a "journey" but better than the alternative.

 I am glad that "The Secret" is helping you.  I will look for it to watch.  How much time are you spending in Virginia?   Will you spend Christmas with you daughter?  I am hoping that my grandson will come to visit.  I put flowers on my husband and son's graves yesterday.  The cemetery looked beautiful with all the flowers, and little christmas trees and other decorations on the graves.  The wind knocked down a lot of the poinsettia plants on the graves, so I spent a little time setting them all back up.  Nicole, Thank You for all that you do.  Wishing you Happy Holidays.  ❤️

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

8 comments (Sunday 12/24/23)

Hi Cadee @Cadee2719 , I travel back to Cave Spring, Virginia WHENEVER my daughter is "traveling" = girl is NEVER home it seems and as you already KNOW - I HATE Florida/lol 🤣😂

She is BACK from her Mexico Trip THIS WEEK - so I am back in Florida.  😭

Nope, she will spend Christmas with her Extended Family. As I AGE (yes, old 🙄), I AVOID the "drama" of the holidays. She on the other hand luvs to be in the "midst" of her Extended Family and/or Friends. I let her = she knows I am okay!  😎

Yes, the movie THE SECRET has ADDED so much to my "mental" state and EACH DAY, it gets BETTER...  💃💃💃

Marcy @MarcyW882921 said she READ their DAILY DEVOTIONAL - so I am looking forward to "chatting" with her when it arrives.

I AM SO PROUD of you and know you INSPIRE me with your CAN DO attitude.

Have a PEACEFUL Christmas  🎅💙🤶

[Therapist4u]

 Hi @SpringIsHereSoHappy

How’s it going so far in VA? If not for your daughter living there ....Would you rather live in Fl anyway?

Should I stay or should I go?? LOL!!

Should I stay or should I go?? LOL!!

 HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you, & Marcy @MarcyW882921 & Cadee @Cadee2719 & @mc6844 & all the other members that you interact with on a regular basis !

Take care!  ☃️🎋🎅☮️~Allen 🌈🎄🤶🌲🎁

[mc6844]

Thank you Allen. Happy season to you too!

[MarcyW882921]

Therapist @Therapist4u , Thank you and Happy Holidays to you too Allen!

🎄🎁🎅🌴🍾☮️

[Therapist4u]

Hi & HAPPY HOLIDAYS ....as well as a HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎈🎆🎇 🎉 🎊✨🎈 to you Marcy @MarcyW882921!

Take care!  ☃️🎋🎅☮️~Allen 🌈🎄🤶🌲 🎁

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

3 comments (Sunday 12/24/23)

GOOD to hear from you Allen @Therapist4u   💃💃💃

We both had moved to Virginia from Florida in 2015. She hated Virginia, moved back to Florida in 2018. I stayed - LUV the 4 seasons, the mountains. Since she is NEVER home, I "hang out" in Virginia when she travels. Living in BOTH states, with Virginia being my main state and Florida my "old age" state = setting things up, making sure all my medical, will and so on is good to go. At age 65, I should have another 20 years left if I follow my mother's footsteps.

🤶🎅  I hope Santa brings you some "neat" stuff....  💙💙💙

[Therapist4u]

OK...well...since you moved to Fl earlier this year...& now live there ....then where do you stay while in VA?

well....Santa aint bringing diddly...lol

how bout U?

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Sunday 12/24/23)

Hi Allen @Therapist4u !

I kept my CUTE Studio Apartment in Cave Springs, Virginia along with the OTHER Old Lady (2006 Hyundai Elantra). Studio is month-by-month.

In Florida I rent a CUTE cottage on a month-by-month agreement while I DECIDE where I want to live in Florida. Lol, got FAMILY FROM H.LL all over Florida - mine and my daughter's "deceased" father's. Got to find a location I can "hide".... 😂🤣  I knew NO-ONE in Virginia!!!  💃💃💃

I still "work" as a Consultant (solve business "issues" for them, online and in real life - Tiny Houses For Seniors) and still do my thing in Cave Spring, Virginia while I RESEARCH Florida. Florida has CHANGED since I left in 2015 - expensive, homeless/illegals taking over and other drama.  😱😱😱

At my age 65, LOTS of things to "set up" in case I drop dead right now. I DO NOT want my "only" child (precious daughter, my best friend) dealing with CHAOS!!!

She is also single and NO kids. So she luvs to travel, one of the main folks for NSBE, sorority, volunteers, friends and so on.

But IF I "need" her - she drops EVERYTHING for me.  💙💙💙

Our COMPROMISE, since she HATES Virginia (I luv it), I HATE Florida (she luvs it) = while I can, I am doing BOTH.

As I AGE, I will have to "stick" to FLORIDA (if she stays there, life is "unpredictable" as we know) when I am ready to give up DRIVING.

🎅🤶  Hmmm, I will find out TOMORROW if Santa had me on HIS NICE LIST.  🙄🙄🙄

[Therapist4u]

Kool...

& thanks 4 info update! Lucky to have month-by-month in both states!🙂

Quite a busy young lady.... with many decisions 🤔 to make!😊

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (Wednesday 12/20/23 9:44pm ET)

Thank you SO MUCH Marcy @MarcyW882921 for YOUR response to Shannon @ShannonW14183   💙💙💙

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Thursday 12/21/23 7:10am ET)

Thank you SO MUCH MC @mc6844  for YOUR response to Shannon @ShannonW14183   💙💙💙

[mc6844]

❤️ 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[mc6844]

I've been struggling with sleep issues the last several days. Little to no sunshine effects me. Doesnt happen often. Grateful for that. Also missing best friend of 50 yrs. It's been almost a year. Sometimes it doesn't seem real that certain people are gone. But it's like he always said, that's the way it goes. And every day is different moving into the future. Every day we move forward.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[mc6844]

I always thought self care was doing something, like going to the hairdresser or a fitness class. For older folks I think it's taking a break from all those things. That it's OK to sit still for most of the day and let the day take care of itself. Especially if one's energy is waning. I've seen Fruit n Veggies pill on TV. Attempting to swallow those would be dangerous. If they're in gummy form I guess that could be self-care lol. Who needs another problem at our ages? 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[ShannonW14183]

Hi Ms. Nicole I just found this forum....1st I'd like to say thank you for having this for some of us have no one to talk to about our grief/loss  & challenges associated with it !! I'm struggling so very much right now for My mom passed Dec 08th & my birthday was the 6th! We knew she was sick but it was only a matter of week's from being told she's very sick to get family here ASAP if they want to say goodbye! MOM was in Texas & I Maryland I was also having my own medical problem when called & told to get there asap..this is 1 of my hardest challenges/struggles I was unable to get to my mom in Texas to hold her hand & tell her "your baby is here" (for I am -of 7!), to say how grateful I was to of been blessed by her being MY MOMMY!, & to have told her I LOVED HER for the last time..EVER!! The guilt is trying to consume me! I just want her to know how much I love her-ALWAYS, & I hope she can forgive me for not being able to be by her side for her final day's..I was able to talk to her on phone & tell her these things but she was to sick to reply though I think I heard her make a moanish noise in reply?! I'm very grateful other member's of the family was able to go! My other struggle is ..I don't mean to sound like a "bad person"..but I feel I lost my MOM & MY BIRTHDAY! It is no longer my special day all I can think of is it's 2 day's before losing the greatest woman in my life ! I had no idea that I'd also be mourning the loss of "my 1 day a year" that makes me "special" so to speak! I'm blown away by this bothering me I truly didn't even consider it or think it would!! Has anyone out there reading this dealing with this particular situation? How do you "handle" your birthday now? Or em I being over dramatic or over sedative due to loss of mom?! Any helpful advice on either struggle would be BEYOND APPRECIATED! Thank you again for this forum and for LISTENING! I'm truly humbled..

[MarcyW882921]

No Shannon @ShannonW14183 you are not being over dramatic. I think I have some understanding of your situation. In 2019, my Mom was in rehab and I went to visit her on my birthday. She sang Happy Birthday to me, we had a nice visit and talked about her discharge in a few days. My husband took me out for dinner and I got a call that Mom was rushed to the ER. I went to the hospital, stayed for hours, went home to get some rest, and was getting ready to go back in the morning when I got a call from the hospital. I got there and a short time later Mom died the day after my birthday.

I had a year to try coping with the loss of my Mom and to think about how I would handle my next birthday. I can't tell you that I don't think about that experience with my Mom, but I think about it now with fewer tears. I decided to do a new kind of birthday activity in 2020 to get me through the date on the calendar and it did help.

Your Mom knows how much you love and appreciate her and she heard you tell her that on the phone. She also understands that you couldn't physically be with her at the end of her life. Talk to her, write her a letter, apologize, ask forgiveness...whatever you need to express what you are feeling and maybe give you some relief.

Losing your Mom is a significant loss and it takes time to figure out how to live with the grief that results from your love for her.

Marcy

[ShannonW14183]

---

Hi Marcy I just found your post. Thank-you for sharing your story it is greatly appreciated!! I feel some better knowing there's other people who are living thru this also. I don't want to be a ball baby , or to have anyone feel sorry for me..just understand why I'm feeling the way I do. not just tell me to get over it "your not a child" anymore as an adult my b-day shouldn't mean that much to me ANYMORE! I was just told this by a family member & I began thinking maybe there RIGHT until I found your post!! THANK YOU MS. MARCY! I have wrote to all of my lost family members in my journal..I've been journaling for 35+ year's ..But I think I may use your advice & write mom a letter! Journaling to other family members thru the year's have seemed to help me..I lost 1 brother in 1990 the 2nd in 1996 dad in 2017 an now mom in 2022. I'm not sure why writing to her in my journal didn't help much at all?! But like I said before I'm looking forward to MANY LESS TEARS when I think of her & no guilt I'm going to continue my prayers and ask for help with forgiving myself & the strength to make it there! I also hope someday in near future I'll be able to help someone else the way you & Ms. Nicole has helped me!! To let someone else know there not alone & there's people out there that's been through it already or maybe going through it now with them! I feel I'm rambling now..forgive me! I just want you to know YOU have touched my HEART!! Thank you again very grateful for you & this forum!! HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR TO!!

Sending you & yours love & hugs!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR to ALL struggling with there own grief & loss I'm very sorry for your loss & pain..we are not alone ANYMORE! Sending everyone a huge hug & love from ME to YOU

Shannon 

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you so much Shannon @ShannonW14183 ! I'm so glad my response was helpful for you as you plod through this muck of grief. You have had multiple losses and you will come through them although as a changed person. You have the strategies and support to help you along the way. May you find peace and joy at Christmas and through the New Year! 

🤗

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

3 comments (Tuesday 12/19/23)

Hi Shannon @ShannonW14183 , I AM SO SORRY for your loss!!! 😭

Yes, those birthdays and guilt.

Some of us have gone for counseling or joined a grief support group.

Some pray.

The "guilt" - I have my GOOD AND BAD days. As Marcy @MarcyW882921 had mentioned previously - FORGIVING OURSELVES is the hardest.

The birthdays - some of us find ways to HONOR our loved ones. While some "may" ignore the date, finding it too PAINFUL.

[ShannonW14183]

Thank you Marcy & Nicole!! Yes I pray alot & I have a counselor also..but neither seems to take away the PAIN! I'm doing my best to do 1 day at a time & closing my eyes & going back to those ( good ol' day's) gone by!! I forgot to mention mom passed in 2022 ..so this is my 1st b day, Christmas ect without her & 1st without Mom & Dad it just sucks! I will continue to pray & remind myself of how blessed I was & be grateful for what I had & still have ! The bad day's are really tough but I'm looking forward to having less ..thanks for being so kind & reaching "back" to me! MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!

Love in big bunches back at ya's,

Shannon (XOXOXO)