Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

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[DaveMcK]

Thanksgiving has inspired some of the funniest Thanksgiving jokes, quotes and sayings. So, sit back and get ready for some of the funniest jokes around.

• How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? He was very thinkful.
• What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
• How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey? One, but you really have to squeeze him in!
• Why can’t you take a turkey to church? Because they use such FOWL language.
• What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
• Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes – a building can’t jump at all.
• If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
• What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!

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[DavidE760644]

As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son the proud father said,

"Now is as good of time to talk about some of the facts of life.

Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman.

To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally,

but never, never, never get drunk."

"Yes sir," replied his dutiful son, "but how am I to know when I am drunk?"

"Well, you see those two men over there in the corner?" said the father.

"If you were to see four men, you'd know you were drunk."

"Dad, let me have the keys," grinned the son. "There's only one guy over there."

[DaveMcK]

[DavidE760644]

Fire Training

At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen table.

The training officer was discussing the behavior of fire. "You pull up to a house

and notice puffs of smoke coming from the eaves, blackened out windows

and little or no visible flame. What does this tell you?" he asked.

He was expecting to hear that the house is in a possible back draft situation,

a condition very dangerous to fire fighters. Instead he heard the following

from one quick wit in the back, "You got the right place!"