AARP Eye Center
Hi @GailL1
Home sharing isn't for everyone but for those who are friendly, good communicators and willing to work things out as adults, it can serve a lot of needs for more than one person.
I agree there will be times, particularly with sharer's as they age, that the possibility of health care needs may arise.
I've worked with folks who provide solutions in the senior care industry and as you say, an independent living facility will have tenants who also will be required to move if their care needs exceed the staffing level of responsibility. Folks who live in independent living facilities will need to hire a care giver or move out.
That would be written into the original signed contract between the facility and the tenant prior to move in. Time parameters about conditions for 'move out' or continuing living in the setting if private caregivers are established and all parties sign the document.
Folks who decide to consider shared housing should establish what their needs are such as what are their MUST HAVES and CAN'T HAVES?
Sharer's would have a written agreement to cover all the possibilities including care needs in the future. See this NOLO article for details.
I can imagine several scenarios surrounding the possibility if one of the sharer's would need care.
1) The written signed agreement would have a clause written into it and signed by both parties outlining the understanding.
2) A home with multiple rooms and home-mates may provide housing for a private caregiver in exchange for reduced rent if the need arises. Negotiating the details of the caregiver's responsibilities to the household would be outlined in the rental and care agreement.
3) Planning ahead and having a scenario outlined in the rental/housemate agreement about eventualities, family involvement, move out time frames, etc should be covered to satisfy all the participants, deterring the possibility of homelessness.
4) Creating a multi-generational home with a variety of ages living under the same roof. That way as folks age in place there can be residents contributing time or service (willingly) as a little extra to support the community.
I think it's important to plan ahead for possibilities.
Remembering nothing stays the same.
Children move a distance away. People are left without partners for one reason or another. The same holds true for folks who choose a home share lifestyle. Having a Plan B & Plan C are always a good thing.
Consider all our options. There is no one size fits all AND there are hundreds of options to create a good life fit.
I'm glad you can keep up with your big house and two kitchens by yourself. As you state sharing your space with others isn't a lifestyle you would choose but I am glad you offered another perspective to discuss the future.
We are all walking each other home.
Establishing boundaries and implementing agreements insures a positive outcome. Using established tools home-sharers will by-pass DISADVANTAGES like those noted above. Ground rules are important in any relationship.
Thanks for the mentioning the age perception about the Golden Girls. It's a program I never watched.
And true too about society , and how 70 is the new 40.
Be strategic and methodical in the search for a compatible home-mate.
Sharing a home can solve the problem of isolation, falling behind on maintenance or their taxes if on fixed income. Relationships change as will those of home-sharers.
First and foremost. AGREE. NO ONE needs to be exploited or be vulnerable to any sort of abuse. It happens all too often with the majority of perpetrators being family members. So, 100% agree. NO exploitation!
I'd love to offer another perspective on your concerns for shared housing.
There are so many different lifestyles out there. It's important to look at as we consider home sharing as an option. Personally, I love having someone friendly to come home to without a romantic involvement.
There are lots of support systems around the country related to sharing and they all use a vetting process to make matches.
They also offer guidelines for home-mate interviewing designed to make successful matches between compatible adults.
Let's all agree, a housemate such as a "long time unemployed grand-nephew and pregnant girlfriend" or anyone who isn't compatible will NOT BE IN the queue for potential housemate consideration.
If a region doesn't offer a home matching program or you prefer to D.I.Y. the first step in gaining momentum is deciding on parameters. Throughout our lives we implemented rules, written or not, for ANY HOUSEHOLD we lived in. Having those in place is necessary for everything to run as smooth as possible.
Having an action plan for making that a reality takes work from everyone concerned before embarking on a SUCCESSFUL shared housing journey.
Interview questions, rental agreements including exit strategies signed by all concerned parties are essential.
By highlighting the things that are important to everyone participating we begin to learn who is a good fit or not. You've brought up many questions that are ripe for asking potential home-mates.
I'm going take into consideration that all the participants are entering into the interview process truthfully and the conversation will take place over several sessions as the selection process becomes fruitful.
Eliminate making choices out of desperation. Plan AHEAD.
Communication is KEY.
Those who are uncomfortable with communicating thoughtfully should not consider sharing housing.
A thorough VETTING PROCESS, including multiple interviews, background checks and reference collection benefits the selection process.
Just 'settling' or ignoring red flags can result in a poor fit for the homeowner or potential home-mate.
Here's an incomplete list someone who had your comments in mind mights ask interviewees.
If someone doesn't meet the expectation of a predetermined criteria, then moving along to another person is recommended. It's a good strategy for finding a good match.
- What about guests? Are they allowed? Overnight guests?
- Are additional pets allowed? Do you have a territorial pet.
- What is your thought about dishes in the sink?
- Do you have the income to enter into a rental agreement with one another?
- What about climate of the home?
All of these things AND MANY MORE can be addressed through the interviewing AND the RENTAL Agreement process, And if the situation changes, an exit strategy should be included in the agreement and signed by all the parties.
If participants refuse to answer questions that meet one's needs, moving along to the next candidate is crucial until a success fit is found
Here are some resources for crafting a rental agreement once a thorough interview process and background check has been completed, And reference checked. Nothing should be left to chance.
A self-paced class on learning the ropes to successful shared housing
Craft A cohabitation agreement Legal Zoom
The Blueprint of We: Negotiating The Shared Housing Experience including coaching sessions
And if you are curious, have questions, or want to share more, I'm happy to chat on here I have many more resources and ideas surrounding this lifestyle choice.
Thanks again for thinking about how we can rebuild strong vibrant communities through successfully sharing housing!
Hi @GailL1
There ARE people who do rent just a space and are content with that.
Then there are others who enjoy sharing a home. There is no one size fits all.
Would you sign a lease for part of a home or an apartment? A little insurance against problems doesn't hurt, in case something DOES arise.
Here are some real-life situations.
I don't know if you viewed the "The Share Home Sharing Collective" youtube channel? That's being added to as new interviewee's content is available.
In the meantime, here are some actual people, not TV characters, living in a caring way through home sharing. There is Doris's video, then two from a couple of different programs in Los Angeles and Oregon.
In the first video you will meet home sharer Doris Beckman.
A widow, she has been sharing in the Bay Area for the past few years since her husband passed away.
(Previously he had managed all the bills and she was buried under medical debt and was in danger of losing her home.) She has thrived by opening her home to sharing.
There are many more examples that aren't TV characters.
It does make sense to share considering. the staggering cost of rent country wide. Whether it's senior/senior or senior/masters student or single mom/single mom.
The 'rules' are a safeguard yes?
And folks who don't have the ability to 'hire a caregiver' may benefit if they are mortgage challenged.
Enjoy learning more about these folks through these video examples @GailL1
