🤔 What CHALLENGE(s) Are YOU Facing RIGHT NOW?

[Anonymous]

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Stop by to tell us about YOUR CHALLENGE and support OTHER MEMBERS.

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water or in your case be in your apartment. It was so great that you got a break from disturbing neighbors, but now you have acquired replacements! Ugh!

Keep visualizing and working toward that tiny cottage in Florida! 🙂

Marcy

[Anonymous]

(3 comments) Thank you SO MUCH Marcy @MarcyW882921 !!!! Lol, used my broom on my ceiling last night after midnight. 😂🤣 Yelled, my bedtime is 11pm to 6am, thank you! GRATEFUL they went upstairs of their townhouse to their bedrooms. I am in a studio under their 1st floor. Trying not to hate them, but...😤 Nicole 🤗🤎

[mc6844]

Sorry to hear, Nicole. Makes me think about moving and new neighbors. Yikes

[MarcyW882921]

Ok so maybe there is hope that they went upstairs?

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

April is going to be my challenge.  April 11 my son died, April 16 my husband's birthday.  I am again waking up at 2:30 a.m. unable to sleep and crying.  I feel guilty that I truly have not mourned the lost of my brother as I have only had my son and husband on my mind.  Too much loss.  I take two steps forward and three back.  I am reading Widow to Widow and hope that it helps me.  I also hope when it stops raining here and I am able to get out into my garden that it will cheer me up.  My grandson came home from college and I loved seeing him but he is the spitting image of his father and I saw in him the son I lost.  I appreciate your asking the question Nicole because it gives me the opportunity to express how I feel to someone.  This site and YOU are an important part of my life.

[mc6844]

Take care Cadee.

[MarcyW882921]

Cadee, I'm so sorry that you are heading into a challenging month. You have had a lot of loss.

I read Widow to Widow and also worked through Mindfulness and Grief (an 8-week guide for coping with loss). I hope that you find something that will help to get you through this next month.

You are grieving and of course you see the son you lost. Perhaps in time you will begin to see that your son lives on in your grandson.

Raining on the outside when you are raining on the inside is not a good combination. I hope the liquid sunshine turns to a sunny sky soon so you can get out to your garden!

Marcy

[Anonymous]

5 comments (Sunday 3/26/23)

Well, my "only" child, a daughter usually Video Calls me EVERY Sunday at 5pm but TODAY she is still in Kansas, Missouri for her NSBE conference and will be traveling back to Florida.

Now she had offered to RESCHEDULE to tomorrow (Monday) but I told her I would WAIT for NEXT SUNDAY.

Sad at NO call TODAY 😭 (I live for them) but know she would be "super" tired and busy tomorrow with being away from work this past week.

Rather WAIT for our "quality" call = one when she is RESTED and ready to chat with this old lady, her Ma! 😉 NOT tired and multi-tasking = me and work and trying to stay awake...

Luv you ALL,

Nicole 🤗🤎

[MarcyW882921]

Sorry you missed your video call with your daughter yesterday! It's great that she offered to reschedule for today and you opted to wait until Sunday. It shows the open lines of communication the two of you have and consideration of one another's needs!

Marcy

[Anonymous]

2 comments (Monday 3/27/23) Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 !!! Lol, we ended up doing a call tonight after all. 😂🤣 WE actually were MISSING yesterday's call. Luv you ALL, Nicole 🤗🤎

---

➡️@MarcyW882921 wrote:

Sorry you missed your video call with your daughter yesterday! It's great that she offered to reschedule for today and you opted to wait until Sunday. It shows the open lines of communication the two of you have and consideration of one another's needs!

Marcy⬅️

---

[MarcyW882921]

What a nice surprise! 🙂

Marcy

[BeatleloverKT]

I feel your pain! My son moved to

Kentucky in January after being

close by for 27 years. He now

calls me on Fridays and I can’t

wait to hear his voice. I’m still

adjusting to this new normal

even tho I don’t like it

[SueS788527]

Hi, Nicole, I read your post today and feel your loneliness and perhaps pain.  I am sorry you experienced this.  I guess you should remember all the positives things you have done to reach out to others on this forum.  We are solo travelers and I for one appreciate your efforts. I have learned, the hard way that establishing and especially maintaining friendships and relationships has its own timeline.  Meaning others are living their lives, sometimes experiencing their own challenges.  That does not mean they think of us less.  As you go through today, take some time to appreciate all the good things happening around you, like the sunny day, upcoming spring, early blooming flowers, life with its blessings.  Listen to some music you enjoy or take a leisurely walk.  You deserve that.  Your friend on the grief path.  Sue

[Anonymous]

(1 comment) Carolyn @CarolynS674392 , would she "consider" medication or some other therapy? Nicole 🤎🤗

[CarolynS674392]

She is actually on an antidepressant and other medications.  She had a geriatric doctor that was wonderful, but he closed the one practice.  She needs to see another one to manage her meds.  Because of her age, they cannot increase her antidepressant.

[CarolynS674392]

Well, she hates the look of the condo my dad made her move into. She cries about that a lot. And she is feeling lonely because he doesn't talk to her as much as she would like.  She has longstanding depression, now complicated by dementia.  My dad wasn't the nicest in the past.  He was mean to me too.  But a lot of my dad and my relationship is healing and is good now.  He's very sweet in all the cooking he does for her and she praises his cooking.  Anyway, her moods are often worse in the afternoon and evening.  She is the nicest and sweetest lady you'd ever want to know.

[MarcyW882921]

Throwing out a couple of ideas...

Can small changes can be made to change the look of the condo? Are there any day programs available in the area where your Mom could socialize with others? 

[CarolynS674392]

I am grieving my husband and also trying to assist my mother by cheering her up.  She is depressed and cries to me a lot.  I guess that's my role.  She doesn't complain to my sisters.  Today was a good day.  My dad and mom and I went to see my niece's artwork in a district-wide art show.  Then we had lunch out.  We don't go out very much but we should.  She seemed happy today.  I'm very glad.

[MarcyW882921]

Getting out of the house can be very therapeutic. A couple of times while we were out going to doctor's appointments, my husband asked if we could go out for lunch. The times we did that, he said it made him feel like a human being again.

I'm glad you spent time with your family, felt some joy, and had a good day! 

[BeatleloverKT]

Thank you all for the well wishes. Taking it slow

until I feel better 💜

[mc6844]

I hope you feel better too. A back problem needs careful and special care. At least it gets you to slow down. But I know how painful a back problem can be.  Take care.

[BeatleloverKT]

As if grief and everyday life isn’t enough of a struggle, I have hurt my back somehow. After waiting in the car for groceries of all things, it began to hurt. Worse today. Puts a damper on my mood and my to-do list as sitting isn’t very comfortable. Off to my heating pad and Tylenol and hope that brings relief. Hope everyone is doing ok 💜💜

[MarcyW882921]

Sorry to hear that you have back pain on top of your grief. Both can definitely impact your mood and ability to mark things off of to-do lists!

It isn't a fun way for your body to communicate with you, but it might be saying it would like some TLC. Take that Tylenol, put on the heating pad and consider it a retreat day. 

I hope you get some well-deserved relief!

[LeeS4949]

Hope your back is treating you better.. I have a long history of back issues and altho warmth feels so much better I've found that a cold pack actually works better for me reducing the pain.. Gets me back on my feet alot quicker.. Also Arnica Gel is a very good topical.. Hope this helps..

[BeatleloverKT]

Thanks @LeeS4949 for the tips. I’ve been told moist heat works the best but it’s pretty messy so I stick with the heating pad. I do feel better today so hoping

tomorrow is even better 💜

[SueS788527]

I wish you a speedy recovery.  Unfortunately, at least in my case, I have personally seen that the death of my husband affected me in all ways, including physical health. That is why everyone keeps saying to take care of yourself.  You are fragile and deserve to take the extra time to rest and eat healthy meals.  Not everyone does, but eventually will realize that we have to be our own best caregivers.  Relax and do something you enjoy.  You deserve it.  All the best.  Sue

[Anonymous]

1 comment (MONDAY 3/6/23)

Lol Marcy @MarcyW882921 , for me EVERY day in Retirement is the SAME except for "mandatory" leave my apt errands.

As usual, ALWAYS good to hear from you!!! 💃🥳

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗🤎

[MarcyW882921]

That's the beauty of retirement. Every day doesn't have to be the same. We are the masters of our own destiny and have the ability to be creative! 

Marcy

[Anonymous]

1 comment (SUNDAY 3/5/23)

Well it is nearly 6pm EST for me and I am "counting" down the minutes for tomorrow to get here so EVERYBODY goes back to work!!! 🥳💃

I am OLD AND CRANKY/lol 😂🤣

Grateful this year 2023 has folks out of their apartments = time for me to RELAX and NOT dwell on my grief....

Yes, by SUNDAY, I am on EMPTY and need to "refill" with HOPE that there will be something AHEAD of me that will "add" to my life's journey.

Luv you ALL,

Nicole 🤎🤗

[MarcyW882921]

In days of work, Sunday was the day when everything had to get done to prepare for returning to work on Monday.

Now it can be viewed as a beginning to the week ahead. What do you want the week to look like? What can you do to get things started in that direction? How can you stay on the path? So many questions and now off to find the answers!