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- Re: π€ What Challenge(s) Are You Facing Right Now?
π€ What Challenge(s) Are You Facing Right Now?
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π€ What Challenge(s) Are You Facing Right Now?
β‘οΈTo reply, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your text. Click reply button again. β¬ οΈ
What is/are YOUR challenge(s) RIGHT NOW? π€π€
SOME days we get out of bed and take care of others who depend on us. Maybe "furbabies" too. ππ
OTHER days we want to stay in bed and die as the "pain" of thinking of our loved ones has us drained. π
EVERY day, EVERY moment may present a "different" challenge.
STOP BY to read OTHER members' posts when you can!
By supporting EACH other with a "response and/or kudo" WE can make it through whatever challenge WE are facing! π
Nicole π€π€ (Grief & Loss Forum)
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2 comments (2/7/23) Lack of healthy sleep due to neighbors from hell has been a challenge for this old lady. Lol, it is like you are already drained from thinking and grieving. But another kindred spirit from our AWESOME AND CARING Grief & Loss Forum reminded me last night via chat that soon I will have enough saved and Florida Housing will stabilize. Oh yes, NO more shared walls or parking lots for me. Thank you Lee @LeeS6949 for that reminder. Now to hang on to my GOAL of leaving Virginia and my cute Studio Apartment heading to a cute Small Cottage in Florida and in same state as my only child. My best friend! Luv you ALL, Nicole π€π€
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You are very welcome Nicole. I always look at the positives in life,I've found that doing that helps build a barrier of sorts against all of those uncaring and self absorbed people out there who always seem to emerge and creep into our lives. What you dream of WILL happen!
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It's been a rough weekend and yes they can be lonely. There was heavy rain the past two mornings that prevented me from going out. I really need to get out the door in the morning to start my day. Finally some sun this afternoon so I could take a nature walk and go food shopping. On the positive side, there was a beautiful rainbow yesterday morning and I bumped into people today who smiled and/or said hello. π
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Hi, Nicole and all who posted comments or read each other's comments on this topic. Yes, I agree with the sentiments shared even after a year of grieving. I remember that someone responded earlier and said they had similar feelings after 5 years. I guess we have to try to find a peaceful life with no regrets and feelings of self-worth. Those goals in and of themselves are hard to attain and may take some time to adjust. As I mentioned earlier, my biggest challenge has been the polarity of loneliness and also toxic relationships. I guess when one is lonely it is natural to seek out others but not at the cost of your own mental and physical health. I sense that we are still vulnerable since the passing of our loved one so don't put yourself in unnecessary bad relationships or situations. Have an exit strategy when you go out or limit the time spent. With winter and various respiratory diseases, we need to concentrate on staying well. As someone already pointed out, we are now on our own caregiver. Scary thought, so maintaining health is critical. I am trying to find interests or return to prior interests so that I can relax and start becoming more at ease at home and in doing so, hope to meet new people who share my interests. That is probably doable and could be an unexpected pleasure. Good luck everyone. I know the weekends, especially with the extreme weather is a challenge. Take care of yourself. You have this forum for venting and sharing.
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There are so many challenges. Practical challenges like having to call repair people. And then the hardest challenge. It has been 8+ months and I feel more in the throws of missing him than I did a few months ago. And the challenge is that my friends and family pretty much don't want to hear it anymore. They don't know how to comfort me anymore. And I totally get it. But they may have moved on but I haven't. I still need to talk about him and my pain. I am starting Grief Share again this Sunday. I really hope that helps. I need something to help. I wake up in the morning and my first thought is of him and how much I miss him. I go to bed and my last thought is also of missing him. I know my story isn't unique and I feel for each and every one of you that is also going through this terrible grief.
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Hi Eileen - I can relate with the repairs. My shower curtain rod kept falling down. A handyman charges over $35 an hour. Or I could schedule time with a family member when they're not working to fix it. Or I can fix it myself. I was afraid to use a hammer on the
recently redone thin walls. So I'm trying self-stick non-damaging plastic things. The point is, such a small thing to get upset about. Then I remembered even if he were here he wouldn't have the strength to fix it anyway. Or like the check engine light on the car. My daughter and her husband are taking care of that, they are so sweet. But I hate to ask. They all have their own lives. The repairs can throw me for a loop if I let them. I guess it's the memories that he used to do the repairs. That must be why it upsets us so much. And a few little things can get big fast. I try to put things into perspective with maybe a neighbor or friend who understands, who has gone through the same things. Take care.
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I have to believe that he is watching over you,his hand on your shoulder and understands what you are feeling as only he can. I know that my saying that doesn't make it all any easier,its just something that makes me feel a tiny bit better somehow.
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My family and friends want a Celebration of Life which is ok, but ifI invite all of the people who are telling me they want to come, I can't afford it.
What do I say to these people? How do I explain I can't afflord over a certain number of people?
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I would be truthful and say to these people your wanting to be involved is much appreciated but at this time we can only have immediate family members due to the high cost of things. Perhaps down the line or in the near future we can get together and have a more personal celebration of life. ..Thank You for being their in our time of need...
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Hi, Nicole, thank you for being so proactive. I noticed that you are a "trusted contributor" which is good for you. Does this mean that you are affiliated with AARP and that is why you have so many valuable resources? Just wondering. Keep up the good work.
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1 comment (1/25/23) Well it was one of my feel sorry for myself days. But just now realized how AWESOME the folks were at my bank today. π Today was day number 2 of my famous 6am alarm going off to run errands and to be honest, thought about just laying in bed and not moving. But I got up and so GLAD I did! As the saying goes, the kindness of strangers fills us up. Luv you all, Nicole π€π€
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@EileenP559346 As I go into year 5 without
him, I think his birthday and anniversary of death
are the hardest days. For me, his birthday came
less then 2 weeks before he died. So those two
dates are wrapped around each other forever
for me. I can tell you it gets easier but never
easy, if that makes sense. I am best if Iβm alone
on those days because I spend a lot of time in
tears. And I honor him those days especially by
doing something he enjoyed, if I can and thru
music. But itβs a very individual experience.
Prayers to you always ππ
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So, yesterday was his birthday. First one without him. First one of a lifetime without him. As with Christmas and New Years the day after is worse than the actual day. I am not sure why it is like that. Yesterday my heart hurt, but today the tears are flowing more. I am trying to keep busy but everything just brings me back to him. The challenges I am facing and will continue to face are many, however I know that he (and God) gives me strength to get through. I wish all of you the strength to get through the challenges we face....>Eileen
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Being ignored. My two sisters-in-law took me out to dinner for my birthday, but they, one especially, wouldn't talk to me when I spoke to her. I was sitting across from both of them. I said "Why are you ignoring me?" and she said it was because she was eating. Also, they are sisters, so when we get together they talk amongst themselves and don't include me. Why take me out if you are not going to converse with me?
Then, about a week before, I was at the hair salon and the one doing hair was talking to her client about a Polish market. I tried to enter the conversation by asking where it was - about three times I tried to talk and they ignored me too. What is it about me?
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I don't think it's you, Carolyn. Society in general doesn't seem as polite as it once was. Plus most people are under greater stress these days. I like the saying, "He has his eye on the sparrow..." So there is always a place of comfort for us in His arms. Take care.
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@LeeS6949 is spot on with her assessment. You have done nothing wrong. I also find myself in situations where Iβm ignored. My solutions are I donβt engage in public convos with people I donβt know. Also the dinners with your SIL are probably something you should not continue. If it makes you feel that bad, and it is that bad, itβs better for you mentally to not go out with them. I have found itβs better to be alone then to be with people who make me feel bad about myself
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I'm thinking its them and not you. AS far as your in-laws go they come across as wanting to make everything about them,and they cant do that unless someone is with them. I suspect thats their motivation for inviting you. Their loss if you ask me. Self absorption in people these days is rampant to say the least. The hair dresser in question is a good example I think. Be sad if you must,I'm sad for them..
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Yeah. I had other people who wanted to take me out like my mom and dad and sister, but they asked first, so...
I guess the only thing in common we have is we loved their brother (my husband). Dan never ignored me. He was the best person in the world. Even he felt different from his family.
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And then the one that's nicest keeps bugging me to get into texting. I've told her I don't want to. I have a flip phone and it's nearly impossible to text on one. I'm not stupid. In fact, I'm am quite intelligent and I'm really into the arts. Maybe there's not a lot of people for me to relate to. Also, they are in the work world and I am not. Maybe they look down on me for not being as worldly as they are.
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