🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[SpringIsHereVA]

Chatting and sharing with OTHERS does help us with OUR HEALING  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

 Went to the Block Party.  There were about 70 people there!  Good food and fun.   They even rented a bounce house and slide into a pool for the kids.   This was put on by several firemen that live in the community.  They put on a fireworks show that was unbelievable.  I met so many neighbors.  My "Best Friend" is a four year old named Cooper.  She will be helping me make Christmas cookies this year.  😁  These men stayed up until 1:00 in the morning to clean the entire area.   It was a great 4th of July.

[Cadee2719]

  This has been a busy week for me.  I finalized an appointment with the rheumatologist in November.  The problem was I was going to run out of medication in two weeks!  When I called the doctor in California, he first said "He wanted to see me!!"  I said THAT is not happening for as you know I moved to another state.  Then he said I had to go and get a blood test here, which I did on Friday.  Now I have to do a tele-health call with him and he "may" renew the prescription???  I told him if he refuses to continue the medication until November then to give me instructions on how to wean myself off of the medication.  So I am in "limbo", and have no idea what he plans to do.  In the midst of that I began the process to get a referral to a cardiologist here.  Fortunately the doctor in California said "No problem, I will forward the records and continue your medication until you are seen."  I cannot tell you the number of phone calls all of this has taken.  I have two more doctors to get so I will be busy for a couple of weeks.

 Yesterday my son took me to buy a gas grill for the patio and I AM DONE.  There is nothing more I need to buy for my home.  Now I can  put my feet up and DO NOTHING!!!!!!!   The new owners of the home in California just installed a fence in front to prevent people from entering the property.  I guess the neighborhood is still dealing with people wondering into their yards attempting to enter their home, cars and their backyard.  SO GLAD I NO LONGER LIVE THERE!!!!!!  Each time I go to the farm stand to buy my fruit and vegetables,  I pass a beautiful ranch with horses in the field that come up to the fence and up in the perch on the telephone pole is a huge nest with baby EAGLES.   This is 10 minutes away from the beautiful community I live in.  I am one lucky woman.   Yes, Nicole I put up a bird feeder and sometimes it looks like the movie THE BIRDS with all the birds lined up on the fence waiting their turn to eat.  I get the bird seed that leaves no  mess and believe it or not the birds do not make a mess on my fence.  The birds are the only "wild life" I see.  In CA. I had squirrels, possums, owls, hawks, coyotes, woodpeckers and once even a mountain lion.  😁

[MarcyW882921]

Dear Cadee @Cadee2719 ,

Putting your feet up and doing nothing sounds grand, but it seems like you need to keep your fingers busy dialing the phone in order to get needed attention for your medical needs. I hope your rheumatologist in CA will work with you until you have an appointment with the rheumatologist in Idaho.🤞It appears your rheumatologist could take some lessons from your cardiologist in CA who is willing to work with you to transition you to your next cardiologist. Keep advocating for your needs and you will eventually have all of your medical support in place.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

  I will be persistent.  Thank You Marcy.  Great to hear from you.  ❤️

[mc6844]

I hope you are all well on the forum. I wasn't able to login. But I tried again today and it was ok. 

[MarcyW882921]

Glad to see you MC @mc6844 ! So glad you were able to log in.

Marcy

[mc6844]

Ty Marcy. You sound like you're doing well! ☺️ 

[SpringIsHereVA]

MC @mc6844 , in my very humble opinion - some of us will grieve to the day we die.

But as time passes, we are able to MOVE FORWARD in whatever capacity we can.

Some years, I hardly think of my Mamamae (grandma), then other years it seems I am crying - dreaming and missing her BIG TIME.

Awesome discussion!!!

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** MC wrote: I wonder if people think that they will always grieve? I heard this recently. I think it could be true. ***]

[mc6844]

I agree, Nicole. It hits at odd times. Old photos, finding a letter or card etc. can do it. I suppose it's part of the human condition that people pass on, and others are left. Sigh...

[mc6844]

I wonder if people think that they will always grieve? I heard this recently. I think it could be true. 

[MarcyW882921]

I think it could definitely be true MC @mc6844 . People that you have loved deeply will always be a part of you and your life. We miss their love, their physical presence, their touch, and our interactions with them. That is why we grieve. The question is what else can we do with our lives? How do we live our life fully and honor our lost loved ones? These are questions I think about every day and I try to do things that I feel will make my life more meaningful.

Today I ran an errand for a friend who is currently unable to get out. I dropped off some cooked food at a non-profit social service agency to be given to a family of 4 and I am going to dinner with a friend. My husband was a people person and genuinely cared for others. These kinds of things allow his goodness to live on, others benefit, and it brings me joy.

Marcy

[mc6844]

That is so nice Marcy. You are inspiring!

[Cadee2719]

  Mc I agree.  I try to keep busy but often there is a "word", an "interaction", " something I see" and I am in tears.    I guess when you have loved someone for 62 years (husband;  53 years (son) you do not forget them.  They were an important part of my daily life and the memories do not fade.  I have been occupied with the move and that has helped.  However, there are times when I am alone and I think of them and it still hurts as much as the day I lost them.  FAMILY has always been my priority and losing two of the most important members of my family is a loss that I don't think I will ever be able to accept.

[mc6844]

Cadee, I understand. They must be so proud of you making an amazing move to a better location. It's so great you're content there. Take care!

[SpringIsHereVA]

Yes MC @mc6844 , our Cadee @Cadee2719 made it to IDAHO!!!  💃💃💃

EVERY DAY while I work on my FUTURE MOVE, her story of determination keeps me going. IF she did it - so can I.  👍👍👍

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** MC wrote:

Cadee, I understand. They must be so proud of you making an amazing move to a better location. It's so great you're content there. Take care! ***]

---

[mc6844]

You sure can!

[SpringIsHereVA]

Yes Cadee @Cadee2719 , the nights are the challenge for me at times = some nights I sleep well, others I am up all night crying.

I guess we have to take it 1 step at a time and TREASURE those memories.

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** CADEE wrote: Mc I agree.  I try to keep busy but often there is a "word", an "interaction", " something I see" and I am in tears.    I guess when you have loved someone for 62 years (husband;  53 years (son) you do not forget them.  They were an important part of my daily life and the memories do not fade.  I have been occupied with the move and that has helped.  However, there are times when I am alone and I think of them and it still hurts as much as the day I lost them.  FAMILY has always been my priority and losing two of the most important members of my family is a loss that I don't think I will ever be able to accept. ***]

---

[mc6844]

Ty

[SpringIsHereVA]

♻️ (1 comment) IT IS A SUBJECT I AND MY DAUGHTER USE TO AVOID UNTIL SHE LOST HER FATHER. NOW SHE UNDERSTANDS WHY I HAD TOLD HER WHERE EVERYTHING IS FOR WHEN I PASS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE SET UP SO FAR FOR YOURSELF?  🤔 ANY TIPS TO SHARE?  🤔

Me - I set up an area on my bookshelf for ALL legal documents. I am working on the cremation end of things.  MY TIP: Try NOT to dwell on your passing as we ALL will one day. Just TRY to remember the ones we leave behind will be GRIEVING. Anything we can do while still ALIVE to make things easier shows we LUV them!!!  👍👍👍

[MarcyW882921]

I have a portable plastic box set up with all of my important documents. I prepared it to be something I can easily grab and run with during hurricane season and also for utilization at the end of my life by my family designees.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereVA]

♻️  (2 comments) REMEMBER THE SAYING AND PRAYER ABOUT STUFF AND PEOPLE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER? HOW ARE YOU DEALING WITH THESE SITUATIONS RIGHT NOW? THANKS, NICOLE  🤗🤗🤗

Me - my right now have NO CONTROL OVER are my Neighbors From H.ll Above Me. I won't lie and say I like them. I don't!!!  😱😱😱  It has been H.LL with all 3 sets of neighbors above me since moving in 2018. Luv my Cute Studio Apt in the Virginia hills but NO MORE neighbors next to me when I move. Until then, MY MUSIC keeps me SANE.

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole for all the good topics. I hope your neighbors grow quieter and easier to live with. I've heard that we can't change things but prayer changes things. I know waiting for things to change is not easy. Take care!

[Therapist4u]

REMEMBER THE SAYING AND PRAYER ABOUT STUFF AND PEOPLE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER?

God, grant me the....

God, grant me the PURRrenity

😄

[SpringIsHereVA]

👂  1 comment  (♻️)  Remember, listening to someone costs zero and you have made that person feel wanted and cared for.

YES, we all receive the stuff that cost money (money, giftcards, flowers, condolence cards/notes) BUT I know how much being listened to has WARMED my insides!!!

So think of someone TODAY who may be NEEDING your ear...

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

This is good to remember Nicole. We do get busy and temporarily forget that everyone has their sufferings. 

[SpringIsHereVA]

♻️  (1 comment) HOW ARE YOU MEETING NEW PEOPLE?  🤔

Me - Ironically I read this in my Google News. It is exactly what I am doing (reaching out to random strangers), subject to change of course. Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[1] Visit a park at the same time each day. Note the other people around. If comfortable, strike up a conversation with folks who appear approachable.

[2] If you enjoy an article, newsletter or book, let the author know.

[3] Say hello to someone you come across in your neighborhood, at the store or library. Ask them about their day.

https://www.signalsaz.com/articles/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-in-retirement/

[MarcyW882921]

Get on a mailing list at a religious institution that is active. These types of institutions have many opportunities for volunteering, learning, socializing, and becoming part of a community.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereVA]

♻️  (1 comment) HOW ARE YOU HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS AND DAYS LIKE MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S DAYS - BIRTHDAYS - ANNIVERSARIES AND SO ON?  🤔

Me, I have never been a Group Person and as soon as I turned 18, started to "skip" the gatherings. I luv the one-on-one interactions. As far as Father's Day, he was never the father my daughter deserved [drug and crime issues], so she never did the day. Every day is Mother's Day for me = she makes sure I am okay every day. She is the opposite of me and while she avoids family  🙄,  she has had Extended Family & Friends all her life. So she spends the holidays with them.  👍

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

The holidays if I think about it, are just another day. Of course they are significant for special reasons. And a day off from regular routines. It could be a day to look into new options for living. A day of moving forward in some way.