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🤗🤎 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)
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Grief & Loss Team 🤗🤎
I just got back from my bereavement group and our facilitator shared a quote that might be resonate with at least some of our group.
"Grief is like the wake behind a boat. It starts out as a huge wave that follows close behind you and is big enough to swamp and drown you if you suddenly stop moving forward. But if you do keep moving, the big wake will eventually dissipate. And after a long time, the waters of your life get calm again, and that is when the memories of those who have left begin to shine as bright and as enduring as the stars above ." --Jimmy Buffett
May he rest in peace.
Wow deer in Florida! i know you have alligators but deer too. I did not realize that there were wooded areas as I have only experience the beaches of Florida. How lucky you are. I have hummingbirds, doves, owls and hawks along with a lot of squirrels that steals ALL the fruit from my neighbors trees. 😁 i also have raccoons, possums and coyotes and love seeing them all. i hope seeing them cheered you up. Luv ya.
So sorry Nicole @Nicole439658 for your sad day yesterday. Sometimes being out in nature or watching nature does provide a sense of comfort. I'm glad the furry and feathered friends stopped by to visit and lift your spirits. I'm hoping your day is at least a bit brighter today!
I guess these holidays bring up memories of family and friends gone. I'm glad you saw the chipmunks and the deer. Sounds like they were there just for you. Their visits are such a blessing when I'm too tired for human interaction. I understand how you feel. The weekend is over. You survived it again! You have tomorrow to look forward to. I hope you regain your strength and enjoy your peace and happiness in your lovely surroundings. Take care, Nicole. I say a special prayer for you!
I settled on Idaho because my brother, and a grandson live there. I want to be near family and be able to celebrate the holidays with them. I hate leaving my home, but it is no longer safe. It seems as if the elderly are their targets here and I am tired of being locked up in my home. I really appreciate the fact that my son is coming with me. My second grandson goes to college in Oregon and promised me he would come and visit as often as he can. I am simply searching for a "family" to be with. I know that you truly understand that. It sure is h*** getting old isn't it, but you my dear are far younger than I am and have ALOT of years ahead of you to enjoy. You appear to be a bundle of joy and live life to the fullest and make everyone on this site happy. Luv ya.
🖐Hello to everyone. I pray that no one was harmed by the hurricanes. Bill, we are thinking of you today and know how difficult it will be. Kim, Happy Birthday early and I hope you have a fun day with family and precious Beasley. Beatle what breed of dogs are they? They are beautiful. Nicole, thank you for your love and devotion to us all. I wish I had your energy. Marcy, enjoy your travels and be safe. I am so busy packing and getting things done at the house in preparation to eventually put it on the market. My not being on the site as often does not mean I don't think of all you and miss you. By the end of the day I am glad to climb into bed with all my aches and pains. I am realizing that I "THINK" I am younger and stronger than I am, but at the end of the day I "KNOW" for a fact that I AM NOT.
@Cadee2719 Amen to the aches and pains! The dogs are my granddogs. I’m visiting my son and his wife in Kentucky. Zeke is a Belgian Malinois and he is the baby. Very energetic doesn’t even describe him. Ned is a greyhound/ shepherd mix. He’s the middle boy. Very sweet but has a lot of anxiety issues. Noah is a pitbull/Lab. He is the oldest. A true people dog, he loves to snuggle and cuddle and get lots of rubs all day. They are a lot of fun to hang out with! Keep me on my toes
Thank you Nicole for your kind messages. I just saw them. Flu shot made me kind of sick this year. I hope everyone gets one in spite of a small reaction. It's better than full blown flu. I do think of all on this site and keep you in prayer. I know everyone is struggling with one thing or another and it's not easy. Keep on keeping on. God is with you.
Losing a spouse is tough. I lost the love of my love after 53 years of marriage.
But we had many good years. I am SO thankful that we took SS early (my wife's family did not have longevity. )We were able to travel - road trips, cruises and a couple of trips to Europe. As we aged Jan became less able to travel. Was in a wheel chair whenever we left the home (in the last 7 years). We visited our children many many times over the years either tied to a road trip or flying. Jan was in failing health after her first stroke in 2017 but could continue to be functional. Over the years she had many challenges including a kidney transplant, hip replacement, two strokes, colon cancer, and two broken shoulders from falls. But Jan made the most of it - she was a trooper!!!!! I can not emphasize this enough !!!! Get your "doing" in early as you never know what the future holds. We were lucky to have about 10 great retirement years with lots of blessings over that time.
It does seems that the emptiness of the home and the missing of your loved one never seem to go completely away. I am blessed to have two children close with a third in Chicago. And they are attentive and call often.
One other bit of advice - we purchased long term care insurance that we used for probably 4 years. This allowed us to have caregivers in the home. The cost for the care would have been prohibitive without it (About $6,500 a month)
Lastly I am now without my wife for two years. I have had to push myself to get out of the home. Some of the things that I have done that may help you...
I bike two hours a day -one hour of that with friends-and will often talk to my son for a good part of the other hour.
I take a circuit training class MWF each week.
I volunteer at the church Thursday mornings - do clean up and have coffee with the other volunteers.
I have been blessed to have two couples that have been very supportive. I will spend an evening at a minimum once and sometimes 2X a week with them.
Lastly, I now finally have begun to invite people to my home and this is a challenge for me.
Probably the most difficult thing for me is to go to functions by myself. Most everyone else that attends is with their spouse.
All for now hope this helps in some small way.
Jim, I am sorry for your loss. You have shared a wealth of information. I, too, tell others to do the things you want to do while you are young. My husband and I had the opportunity to travel and enjoyed seeing Europe, Australia, cruises to Alaska and Mexico as well as seeing most of the United States. At the age of 60 he had a stroke and had to retire. I, as his caregiver, gave up my position at a local University to care for him. Our trips then became many visits to Las Vegas (he loved to gamble 😊), which was his only joy in life along with seeing our family. Our life was limited and then he was diagnosed with lung cancer. The caretaking increased as time went on with him ending up in Hospice Care at home. I, too believe in Long Term Insurance as the costs of care are very expensive. Hospice care was brutal and I pray I will never have to experience it again. At the death of our son, he went downhill quickly and died six months later. He has been dead 10 months today. I am not where you are in the recovery yet. I am working hard at building a new life for myself. I live in a state where I am not safe (even though I live in what once was a beautiful, safe neighborhood) and in the process of moving out of state along with my remaining son. I am hoping that at our new homes, I can begin to meet people, get involved in the community, volunteer and build a life. I miss being able to go out into the community and walk the streets in my neighborhood to shops and restaurants safely. I miss my son, I miss my husband of 62 years this November, and I miss my brother that died a month before my husband. Your words are encouraging to me. You give a blueprint to healing which I will remember. Thank You for sharing with us.
Jim..I am so sorry for your loss of your wife. I am coming up to the one year anniversary in Nov. Not a day goes by that i don't think of him. We would have celebrated our 64th weddng anniversary on Sept. 5th but that was not to be..I am happy to say that we had 63 years together and who could ask for more...I keep busy with my hobbies when possible but lately a monkey wrench has been thrown into the works as i just was diagnosed with carpel tunnel in both hands and have been referred to a specialist of which I'm waiting for an appt. So no knitting/ reading as holding a book brings on spasms/pain but I do manage to get out in the yard to take pictures of the seasonal changes flowers/trees/ birds/animals etc. which brings me joy to look at when uploaded to the computer also spending a short time on it as too much typing brings on spasms also..You are dealing with your grief in the best way and coutos to you for doing so..i hope the remaining years will be good to you in all ways..It's nice to have some place to go to ..to share your thoughts...
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