🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[Winter2024]

Our luv ones are with us ALWAYS while we TRY to move forward EVERY DAY & NIGHT!!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2024]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌*** Members HELPING Members ***

WE cry, rejoice, talk, share.

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU.

So stop by to SHARE YOUR JOURNEY.

I will ALWAYS leave a comment in response to YOUR POST.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2024]

👤👥   Our ONLINE "Grief & Loss" Support Group!!!

WE would like to invite ALL GRIEVERS [a loss of days or years] to our group. Any questions, click on reply button below. Enter your text. Click reply again. Or you can send me an AARP PM [private messaging system]. Luv, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

LINK TO GROUP POSTED BELOW.

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Friends-Family/A-Place-To-Be-With-OTHERS-Who-Are-Grieving-WE-support-e...

[Winter2024]

📸  An attachment for YOU  🤗🤗🤗

[mr6784]

Glad to discover this forum as I am almost only 3rd month since my oldest brother Bob 88,died September 15. I was numb for 2 months which surprised me as usually cried a lot in grief. As a priest I felt blessed to lead the celebration of his life at the funeral home. Grateful to his pastor for liturgy.And I did the service at the cemetery, with family we sang in holy circle send him off and again no tears. 
   I feel somewhat misplaced with my grief the funeral was 3 hrs from where I live and only one friend present. My brother was mentor, supportive and strong encourager . He too was a priest 38 yrs.

[mc6844]

It's a good time of year not to take anything on, or lose ourselves in what could become exhausting. Being older prevents me from that lol. And of course it does nothing to alleviate the pain of loss. So what activities help everyone on the forum refresh our minds and keep our spirits calm? Watching movies is good. No heavy topics. I like Westerns. Why? The scenery is beautiful and calming. Comedies are good. Paul Blatt Mall Cop 2 has some very funny scenes. There are many interesting series too. Of course it takes time to be able to sit still. That is ok too. I hope everyone finds something to help them refresh minds and spirits. 

[Winter2024]

💡  SUGGESTION: Allow your grief. No step is more important than this. Appreciate, accept, and allow your grief as a natural response to your loss. Let yourself feel your pain. Suppressed grief doesn’t go away. Grief is a mix of many uncomfortable feelings. You may feel sad, angry, or filled with remorse, regret, or longing. All these feelings are natural.

https://hospicefoundation.org/Grief-(1)/Journeys-with-Grief-Articles/Survival-Tips-for-Grief

[Cadee2719]

 Morning Nicole.  Yes, I got my ultrasounds scheduled for 11/26.  Being that it is taking place in the center of town, my son is taking me.  Downtown is filled with one way streets and quite busy so I AVOID it at all costs.   Finding someone to refill my diabetes medication has been a challenge.  The doctor in California has retired and the doctor I saw here cannot do it.  They are suggesting I go to the ER and have them fill it????  Moving to a new area and arranging for new doctors has taken 6 months to do and has been a CHALLENGE.  I am hoping that the family doctor I have an appointment with in December can help me resolve all these problems.    The holidays are coming and it is hard.  This will be my first Thanksgiving and Christmas in my new home; a big adjustment for me.  I miss my husband, son and brother more than ever.  November 25 my husband  & I would have celebrated our 63 wedding anniversary.  I moved to a state that my son was planning on moving to and now I am here without him.   Funny how LIFE has a different plan for me.  

[MarcyW882921]

Cadee,

I hope your ultrasound appointment goes well tomorrow and I'm glad your son is taking you. I'm so sorry that finding continuity for your medical care has been so challenging! I admire your perseverance and hope that it will yield some positive results for you very soon.

I know moving can be stressful even without having to deal with doctors. I remember feeling pretty alone when we moved south. I don't know if you are interested, but Grief Works does webinars periodically and they are doing one on December 2nd about navigating The holiday season. You can find it at illume apps.com in the Community Live tab. Maybe it would be helpful as you are trying to get through the holidays in your new home.

Sending hugs,

Marcy

[Winter2024]

♻️♻️♻️  Cadee @Cadee2719 , tears are in my eyes as I read your post dear friend!!!  😭😭😭

Losing YOUR husband, son and brother within MONTHS of each other is SO NOT FAIR.  😤😤😤

Each day that I am missing my only child in Florida while WORRYING about her SAFETY, I think of YOU being SO DETERMINED to find something to live for.

TREASURE the time you have TODAY with your son and brother Cadee.

And I am TELLING MYSELF the same thing.

My daughter NEEDS her ONE parent to be PRESENT and not be fearful of losing her. But it is SO HARD as you know.

Glad your son is taking you to your ultrasound and as usual, when you can/feel up to it - let us know the outcome.

As far as the ER - ridiculous. You are DIABETIC!!! Here in Virginia they have a FILL IN doctor as alot of us had to WAIT FOREVER to see our MEDICARE DOCTOR for 1st time. Hmmm, did you maybe ask a MEDICARE ADVOCATE about this.

I had turned 65 last year September, ran out of Blood Pressure Med and would NOT be seeing my Medicare Doctor for the 1st time until January 2024.  😱😱😱

This COMMUNITY CARE SET UP scheduled me in to see their doctor in October who called in a refill to take me until my Medicare Doctor took over. And NO COST TO ME. Apparently insurance covered it.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

---

[*** CADEE  wrote: Morning Nicole.  Yes, I got my ultrasounds scheduled for 11/26.  Being that it is taking place in the center of town, my son is taking me.  Downtown is filled with one way streets and quite busy so I AVOID it at all costs.   Finding someone to refill my diabetes medication has been a challenge.  The doctor in California has retired and the doctor I saw here cannot do it.  They are suggesting I go to the ER and have them fill it????  Moving to a new area and arranging for new doctors has taken 6 months to do and has been a CHALLENGE.  I am hoping that the family doctor I have an appointment with in December can help me resolve all these problems.    The holidays are coming and it is hard.  This will be my first Thanksgiving and Christmas in my new home; a big adjustment for me.  I miss my husband, son and brother more than ever.  November 25 my husband  & I would have celebrated our 63 wedding anniversary.  I moved to a state that my son was planning on moving to and now I am here without him.   Funny how LIFE has a different plan for me.  ***]

---

[Winter2024]

📸  Attachment - ENCOURAGEMENT  🤗🤗🤗

[Winter2024]

@mc6844 @MarcyW882921 @Cadee2719 @jonibee check your AARP PMs. I just sent you guys a "heads up". Been a peaceful 6 months here in the Grief Forum since the last drama this year's Mother's Day 2024. I am hoping with the visit today, we donot have a repeat performance. Missing poor and dear Allen @Therapist4u . Hope he is okay and will stop by again. Sad when certain folks feel a need to drive folks away. Lol, same person had driven me away last year Father's Day 2023. Luv you ALL, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Cadee2719]

 Sad that some people feel it is necessary to critique others, especially those working hard to find peace and love for those going through a very difficult time in their lives.  I admire the people on this site for being strong and wanting to help others on this journey.  We share our lives with each other because we care about each other and understand the highs and lows we experience.  We do not criticize each other because WE are OUR harshest critics.  This site has provided me with helpful information, smiles, laughter and a sense of connection with those that truly understand.  Nicole, Thank You for all that you do and the commitment that you have for being here for us.   ❤️

[Winter2024]

Cadee @Cadee2719 , thank you SO MUCH for "supporting" the grievers who stop by. This Grief Forum is suppose to be a place EVERYONE can be themselves. WE have lost so many people due to the drama and jealously. Allen @Therapist4u is the latest. I miss his HUMOR in spite of the HELL he is going through. AARP owns this Grief Forum!!!  👍👍👍

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

---

[*** CADEE wrote: Sad that some people feel it is necessary to critique others, especially those working hard to find peace and love for those going through a very difficult time in their lives.  I admire the people on this site for being strong and wanting to help others on this journey.  We share our lives with each other because we care about each other and understand the highs and lows we experience.  We do not criticize each other because WE are OUR harshest critics.  This site has provided me with helpful information, smiles, laughter and a sense of connection with those that truly understand.  Nicole, Thank You for all that you do and the commitment that you have for being here for us.   ❤️  ***]

---

[mc6844]

I hope Allen is ok too! 🙏 

[Winter2024]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💡‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  SELF CARE!!!

Find ways to "escape" from grieving each day/night so your body - soul and mind gets a chance to HEAL!!!

My "escape" is this Grief Forum. Having other grievers check on me and I on them has HELPED me MOVE FORWARD.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🙃‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🙃‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🙃‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[Winter2024]

♻️♻️♻️  Good Morning Suzanne @SuzanneS949035 !!!

How are you TODAY?

I am here IF and when you need me!!!

I hope you slept last night.

I am thinking of YOU.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SuzanneS949035]

 Hello Nicole,

I'm hanging in there one day at a time.   His adult kids came this past weekend to get some of his things I thought they should have of his.

I'm still dragging my tail not moving forward with any routine, just trying to cover all bases and figure out if I can afford to keep my house.

I'm ok until someone asks about him, then it comes rushing back like it just happened.

HOping the woulduve, coulduve, shoulduve stuff moves on so I can stop tormenting myself and second guessing what I could have done different to help him.

I'm trying.....

I hope you're doing well.

Suzanne

[Winter2024]

♻️♻️♻️  Hello dear Suzanne @SuzanneS949035 , how are you doing?

I hope you will stop by again.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SuzanneS949035]

Hello Nicole,

The holidays have been rough as I imagine they are for so many with lost loved ones.

Didn't put the big tree up this year, my heart wasn't in it.   Ironic, that last year he was in the hospital for every single holiday, including his birthday and out anniversary.   I guess that was an early warning of what was to come.

Slowly sorting thru all of his stuff.   The garage looks like a hardware store, not even sure where to start.   In a few months I need to sell the house to move some place less expensive, with taxes and insurance going up, its too much with only one paying the bills.

I pray you had a lovely thanksgiving and that you will be enjoying Christmas with your daughter, thank you for reaching out, it helps remind me that I need to keep moving forward.

Hugs to you and everyone this season,

Suzanne

[MarcyW882921]

Hi Suzanne @SuzanneS949035 . Yes, this can be a really difficult time of year.

 Not putting up your big tree was your decision, and it's ok. Unfortunately, the unhappy memories of your husband's hospitalizations and illnesses during the past year are consuming your thoughts and not allowing your heart to be in the holiday spirit this year. Your grief is part of you, and in time, you will grow around it and create new memories.

Sorting through all of the stuff can be overwhelming! I just told a friend about the amount of stuff in my house that I have not had the fortitude to tackle after two years! Maybe your need to sell the house will turn out to be positive because you will have to deal with the stuff. 

Keep taking a step at a time Suzanne!

Marcy

[SuzanneS949035]

Hello,

Each day is better, in some ways, in others worse when I encounter surprise financial responsibilities I will need to resolve placing me in a bad spot.

Today it's anger - grief - disbelief he did this and I didn't know it.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Thank you for all you do, I hope you're doing well.

Thanks so much

Suzanne

[SuzanneS949035]

Hello Nicole,

Went to the funeral home to sign creation papers.   Trying to sort thru all the financial things and try not to worry.

Thank you for your group, I sincerely appreciate you.

Suzanne

[MarcyW882921]

Suzanne @SuzanneS949035 you have one thing marked off of your list of things to take care of. It can be overwhelming so prioritize the items and work your way through them at a pace you can handle. Some things can't be done until you have death certificates so those will have to wait. Hopefully your funeral director gave you a list to follow and you will feel your burden lighten as you check them off as being done.

You will get through this.

Marcy

[SuzanneS949035]

Suzanne

Thank you, they actually gave me the link for AARP which I already had since I've been a member.

One day I cry the next I can't today is the crying day I think, I finally slept last night after a week, I know he just died Sunday but it still seems so unreal.

He's had many health issues and I have a health background but no one prepared us that the end was here.

His kids are grown and so are mine, hugs to you too.

the future seems so uncertain, unfortunately after I retired I no longer had great life insurance for him and once we were going to his health was too bad.

Thank you again, sincerely

Suzanne 

[Winter2024]

WE will always miss them but as we MOVE FORWARD there will be less tears and more smiles when we think of them.  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌

[SuzanneS949035]

 Thank you, those words are very helpful.   Looking forward to reaching the smiles.

[Winter2024]

Migraines are NO FUN Marcy, hope you feel better SOON!!!  🤗🤗🤗

[*** MARCY wrote: I didn't sleep well last night and it triggered a creepy migraine today. I hate giving in to it so I'm fighting it the best I can. ‌😩‌

Marcy ***]

[mc6844]

Marcy, I hope your feeling better!