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- Re: ๐ค WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To S...
๐ค WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)
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๐ค WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)
โถ๏ธTo reply, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your text. Click reply button again.โ๏ธ
WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!
Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.
***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***
Grief & Loss Team ๐ค
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- Grieving
- WE are thinking of YOU. Please Stop By To See Us :)
- WE luv you
- YOU are in OUR thoughts TODAY :)
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Lol Cadee @Cadee2719 , I maintain the group because I NEED YOU GUYS = my online support!!! ๐๐คฃ
Aha, busy lady but one who is SAFE finally!!! ๐๐๐
So, I want to KNOW once you settle in WHAT things you are doing.
Yes, like with Marcy @MarcyW882921 , you guys are MOVING FORWARD = pushing me to do the SAME - thank you for stopping in TODAY.
Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
[*** CADEE @Cadee2719 wrote:Thank You Marcy. Thanks to the support from you, Nicole and others here, I survived. My neighborhood is a smaller neighborhood within a larger one. Everyone knows everyone. They have block parties and everyone contributes and attends. They look out for each other and their kids. It is a mixture of young and old. The Dads are out there playing with their kids and the mothers sit on blankets on the front yard and watch. It reminds me of the small town in Pennsylvania where I grew up. Yet, Meridian is a very active city; shops, good restaurants, and a lot of activities. There are walking paths, bike paths and a lot of outdoor activities. The wineries are close by and always have some entertainment taking place. I am near Boise where there is even more to do. Today I had to go and take my driver's test, 40 questions, you can miss 6. ( I missed 1) Monday, I need to go to the sheriff's department to get my new license plate. My neighbors from California call often. One planted a small tree in her yard in memory of me! I told her "I just moved, I am not dead! ๐ All in all, I am happy. I am safe.
My friend at the cemetery said he would continue to place flowers on my husband and son's graves as long as I wanted. He emails me at least twice a month and has been a saint. Enough about me......your putting on a new roof?? You sound like you are one VERY BUSY woman and I am glad that you are staying involved
in life. I am also glad that Nicole kept her place in Virginia. She seems to be so happy and content there. How she continues to maintain this site boggles my mind, but she is the "glue" that holds us all together. Be well, continue to enjoy your life and be busy. The people I have met on this site are "special to me" and I
want only the best for all of you. โค๏ธ ***]
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And stay tuned for NEWS about her new life Marcy @MarcyW882921 !!!
Cadee @Cadee2719 , I am SO GLAD you updated us!!!
Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:I am so proud of you Cadee @Cadee2719 ! I can't imagine how hard this moving process has been for you on top of your grief. You made the hard decisions, did the work, and it sounds like the benefits are now paying off for you. Enjoy your new home in a warm and safe community! You certainly deserve it my friend.
Marcy ***]
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YES YOU DID IT Ms. Idaho @Cadee2719 !!! ๐๐๐
and another set!!!
๐๐๐
Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
[*** CADEE @Cadee2719 wrote:I made it back on the site! Yeah I have made the move. Sold my house in California and have moved to my new home in Idaho. Was it hard.....you bet. Packing up a house I lived in for 46 years and moving to a new state at the age of 80 was not a simple task. It was all worth it. I feel safe, I am in a community of kind and helpful people, love my new home, am able to go any where I want and not be afraid. I did not know a place such as this existed. I am sad that my beautiful neighborhood in California became a haven for the homeless, crime and fear. It was not an easy task but I did it and I do not regret it. We each must do what is right for ourselves to live our lives as we choose. It took me a year and a half to complete this process but I DID IT! ***]
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Yikes Marcy @MarcyW882921 , cutting it close to Hurricane Season in Florida!!! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ
On the serious side, I do APPRECIATE your update!!! ๐๐๐
And YES, I am sure you are enjoying your peace/quiet, Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:The roof was finally started today. I think they have finished working for now and I am relishing the quiet!
Marcy ***]
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(2 comments) ๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฃ OUR JOURNEYS SO FAR!!!
WE are all at different "stages" of OUR HEALING JOURNEY.
[1] Some of us are making CHANGES that will help us to MOVE FORWARD. ๐๐๐
[2] Some of us are THINKING about things so as NOT to make any "hasty" changes that will ADD to our stress. ๐๐๐
*** Everyone is invited to add THEIR journey to this discussion ***
Thanks,
Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
Me - Florida is on HOLD while my daughter who lives there figures out another job. She was in a Mass Surprise Same Day Layoff on 4/11/24. Lol, while I worry about her losing her home and car - I AM SO HAPPY to renew my lease for my Cute Studio Apartment in the hills here in Virginia. We will revisit my relocation AGAIN in the future!!! ๐๐๐
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Cadee @Cadee2719 , it is this AARP Site that they REFUSE to update!!! ๐๐๐
Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
[*** CADEE @Cadee2719 wrote:I tried to reply to this yesterday and the message did not go through! I know I have not been on site for quite a while, but do not understand why I cannot get through. ***]
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(1 comment) WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING? ๐ค Thanks, Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
My Advice - not everyone is going to "understand" your journey, so find ways to connect with folks who do. Not everyone is going to make time for you. TREASURE THE ONES THAT DO AND THANK THEM!!! ๐
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I think it is important to take care of the necessities. You have to make the changes with your social security, getting credit in your name (if you did not have it), changing the names on Trusts, Wills, bank accounts, etc. This is often not as easy as you think. You need to take care of yourself, begin or continue your doctor's appointments, find time to rest, relax, and do the things that make you happy. Share with a support group your fears, needs and questions. Make NO MAJOR DECISIONS at this time. IGNORE criticisms and unsupportive people. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Everyone is different; each of us heal in our own way and time. Do not apologize for your sadness. It takes time, it takes strength; it takes fortitude to heal and you will discover that you have all of these virtues. Be kind to yourself.
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[1 comment] WHAT HAS HELPED YOU THE MOST WITH YOUR HEALING JOURNEY? ๐ค
Me - my daughter. Knowing she NEEDS me, the only parent she has left. I still have my monents, but I make an effort for her. Nicole โโ๐ค๐ค๐คโโ
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[1 comment] Okay, WE are "on our way" with this year with OUR Healing Journeys. ANY 2024 PLANS? ๐ค
I NO LONGER do the famous New Year's Resolutions. Why? As I AGE and take 1 Step At A Time, I have had to cancel and make NEW plans. Lol, not always fun but sometimes something BETTER comes along. ๐๐๐ So, I had planned on moving back to Florida 100%. Lol, daughter got laid off 4/11/24 there and only life KNOWS if she will get another Engineering Job there or have to relocate. So I "is" staying in Virginia. Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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[1 comment] WHAT HAS BEEN THE HARDEST PART OF YOUR HEALING JOURNEY? ๐ค
Me - anger. Anger at NOT having the Love Ones I lost in my life as I age. 66 this year (2024). Nicole โโ๐ค๐ค๐คโโ
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[4 comments] AT SOME POINT OF OUR "HEALING JOURNEY" WE ARE READY TO GET BACK OUT THERE TO SOCIALIZE. ARE YOU? Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค โ
Me - finally "feeling" the interest to locate some PEACEFUL interactions with folks MY AGE [66 this year 2024]. Lol, had visited the local Senior Center and lost interest once I encountered I guess the member who feels she runs it. Rude and controlling. I had hoped the place would be run by the County who owns it. Guess not.
So NOW to figure out some other "possibilities" and research some other ideas [as I find them].
Nicole โ๐คโ
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Nicole, I got a chuckle when I read your post. I could just see you encountering this person, then walking out. So many groups are like that. Have you tried wildlife rescue? I think there's a whole network of people rescuing injured wildlife and getting them to rescue locations. They have people who pick up the animals. It sounds very interesting and rewarding. Just a suggestion!
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Nicole, so funny! Know that I'm laughing with you, not at you. I find the wildlife rescue interesting and enjoyable to follow. It's so good those animals don't have to suffer out in the wild or be destroyed. I couldn't do much except take a pic of an injured bird, racoon etc and send it to the local rescue. They have local rescues now for every kind of animal, amazing.
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[1 comment] Jonibee @jonibee , where did you get YOUR copy? Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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(7 comments) Marcy @MarcyW882921 , hmmm - do you mean setting up the home you shared with a luv one who passed?
In your case, your husband.
[1] The challenge is the bedroom deciding whether to keep the bed you BOTH slept in. Are you keeping yours? I tend to want "reminders" gone - not things like pictures, just furniture.
[2] Another challenge is maybe the ROUTINE you may have had with him. Maybe a garden, or sitting on a porch for morning coffee or watching TV in the evenings. Now the garden can be THERAPY as we can continue to work in it to "honor" him. As far as TV programs - that one is "emotional" and stepping away for some time helped.
Not sure what you are needing but this is my 2 cents worth.
Luv you STRONG AND DETERMINED lady!!! Nicole ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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Thanks Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy for weighing in on this topic. All of us are unique as individuals and therefore in our responses to grief.
One of the presenters in the webinars talked about how the minute your loved one passes away your life is changed. The people in this forum certainly know this is true. I think we have discussed the change in one's identity, the search for who you are without that person, and finding one's purpose in life.
Another change is our perception of our living space. Are you comfortable there without your loved one? Can you continue to live there? Are changes needed to improve your comfort level? Is there a desire to "make it your own" reflecting your personal tastes?
I have been very comfortable in my home because I feel love and a presence. I did however do a remodeling of two rooms that we had planned together. I did make selections in the process that reflected my personal tastes. Recently I changed some window treatments and bedspreads that create an even happier place for me.
All the best to everyone who is working through all of these issues.
Marcy
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Marcy, that is a good topic. Arranging living space is a great way to move oneself forward. Especially if I'm not up to conventional ways like for instance, moving. A counselor pointed out to me that selling my home may feel like another loss. Something that hadn't occurred to me. I did get clutter cleared from my kitchen. Painted the walls. It makes it easier and pleasant.